So, about that contest…

20k? Nice number. Strong. When I saw the check I just stared at it for a long time. I never thought, when I turned this in at the 11th hour, little black book in hand…that it would be selected. Sitting here, typing out this proverbial Hail Mary pass whilst entertaining the company of an intriguing prospect, while simultaneously extinguishing the yearning flame of another prospect. She was long tenured, and indeed seemed like someone worthy of a permanent fixture on my mantle. Tragic, then, that she would take her position for granted time and time again. Her loss, ultimately. Much too late for you to cry, said the esteemed Marvin Gaye, with his legendary ass. Little black book, you seem a product of another time, actual physical property for me to scribble in, scratch out or write over, tear out and ball up in embarrassment only to just narrowly miss in my bedroom trash can with a hoop that is certainly not regulation size. I’m watching You, the Netflix sizzler that every woman your age knows, and every child with Netflix access (including your own, somewhat disturbingly) has seen. It’s decent. That’s neither here nor there, they aren’t paying you for this check winning publicity. White people shit. Too bad this is being written right after then end of black history month. Though, nobody really cares about it but us, my darling little black holder of secrets. By secrets I mean mostly complaints with a dab of introspection. Tiny dab. Yo. This is the third time I’ve tried to write this story to make it regulation length and the server is crashing or something and my changes are not being saved. Please make some kind of feature that saves changes automatically after a brief period of time. It’s very frustrating to try and make this happen in a manner that’ll make the powers that be pleased, only to see it deleted randomly. My willpower has been drained to almost nothing, and this experience is adding to my recent stress which is just….through the roof right now. Little black book admittedly if I wasn’t writing in you right now I might fling you across the room at blazing speeds. Is twenty thousand dollars worth this stress? Remains to be seen after I take the check to cash it. Actually, I forgot that it’s going to be deposited automatically in some third party thing. Forgot what it was called but that’s a moot point now. Man, I’m so mad! I think I was really hitting a groove. Trying to grasp what I was writing about immediately before this. I think I mentioned something about Hollywood whitewashing foreign language classics, and wondering why since they so rarely work out. Train to Busan is what sparked that rabbit hole exploration. Then I spoke about The Departed being maybe the only good one. Definitely the only one I could think of off the top. Speaking of off the top, I’m watching these battle raps on YouTube. Amazing stuff. These cats are definitely superhuman esque. Couldn’t be me. I would be so salty any time anyone said anything about my family or myself. Too thin skinned for that shit. Hats off to them though. Ah yea made me think of 8 Mile after that, and the fire ass soundtrack that accompanied it being something like a phenomenon. Oh yes! LL Cool J. Any Given Sunday. This is some kind of fucked up backwards-ass version of six degrees of Kevin Bacon. I think that’s the name of that game. Anyway, piecing this lost thought process together is annoying. But that makes me think