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Signs Your Partner Fell For Someone Else

If you're wondering why your partner is acting strangely, you might want to watch for signs your partner fell for someone else.

By Ossiana TepfenhartPublished 7 years ago 9 min read
Image via Sabrina, 1954

"I'm leaving you for him."

It's a phrase that is terrifying for any spouse to hear, and though it's rare, it does happen. In around one of every 20 couples affected by infidelity, a cheater will leave their longtime partner for the other lover.

When someone leaves a longtime partner for someone else, it hurts for a number of reasons. Most commonly, what hurts the most is the undeniable evidence that your partner fell for someone else — and stopped caring about you.

Though most people who end up being left for someone else tend to be blindsided when it happens, there are usually clues that it will happen. If you watch for the signs your partner fell for someone else, you will be able to figure out what's really going on before the bomb drops.

They talk about another person nonstop.

Image via Nylon

A friend of mine found out why this is one of the signs your partner fell for someone else the hard way. His girlfriend kept mentioning a mutual friend of his, Paul, in almost every conversation.

Every other sentence started with, "Paul says..."

Every other remark ran along the lines of, "Yeah, Paul is so awesome. You should see what he did this time..."

At times, she'd also deride Paul as a way to make him feel like he wasn't a threat — even though it was obvious that Paul seemed to take up more of her thoughts than he did.

When a person falls for someone, or even when they have a crush on that individual, they tend to talk about them more. After all, it's not like people usually talk about things that they don't care about.

If you notice your partner constantly discussing someone, you need to be worried. This is a sign that they have strong feelings for that person, and that those feelings may include love.

When you're around them, you get the feeling that there's someplace they'd rather be.

Image via Nylon

One of the biggest signs your partner fell for someone else is based on how they act around you. When you're in love with a person, you don't act bored around them, nor do you act like you just want to "hurry up and get over" having to be near them.

On the other hand, if you're in love with someone else and you have someone you're no longer interested in trying to chat you up, it's easy to be unenthusiastic. After all, you'd probably rather be with the person that you love, right?

Just like most people would act with annoyance or boredom if an ex approached them, people who are in relationships but have fallen in love with someone else will not react positively to their "official" trying to flirt with them. The reason why people in relationships would act this way is because the person they're "official" with basically already is their ex.

If you notice your partner reacting with annoyance or flippancy when you ask for affection, chances are that they've fallen for someone else. They've already moved on, and that means it's time for you to do the same.

They suddenly get very frugal, and won't spend a dime on you.

Nikolaj Coster-Waldau in The Other Woman

Most people, particularly during courtship, will lavish gifts on the person they're looking to get into a relationship with. In happy relationships, you still will probably get gifts and the like "just because."

Gifts are an easy way to make a partner smile, and they don't cost much in many cases. One thing that relationship experts have noted is that the amount of money partners spend on one another tends to remain steady during relationships, even if it slows down a bit after courtship.

One of the signs your partner fell for someone else, therefore, deals with the amount of gifts they give compared to how things used to be.

If they suddenly have become frugal, and refuse to even pay for dinner, chances are that it's because they're spending their money on someone else.

Your relationship is starting to feel forced.

Image via Marie Claire

This is one of those signs that can be hard to confront, but often becomes pretty obvious as time continues to pass. Does it seem like he's faking interest in you, or that intimacy now feels forced?

It could be that he's trying to overcome the feelings he has for another girl — or that he's trying to balance out the fact that he's been cheating for a while.

Unlike other signs on this list, this indicator can actually be a sign that you might be able to save your relationship. As long as he's still trying to be intimate and loving towards you, it's clear that he's trying to fight his feelings.

If this is the case, talk to him. He may be willing to open up and work things out with you.

Any conversation that he has with you seems superficial, and actually getting him to confide in you feels like pulling teeth.

Getty Images

People who are in love confide in one another almost constantly. If you think back to when you first fell for him, you might remember hearing all sorts of stories from him about friends, food, family, and work.

One of the signs your partner fell for someone else is when you stop being that confidante — and when someone else does.

At the very least, if you notice his new female friend knowing more than you do about his day-to-day life, it's almost a surefire sign that an emotional affair is afoot. In most cases, this happens after a physical relationship has also been established, too.

If this happens, it may be time to reevaluate the relationship. While it can still be saved if this is a fairly recent phenomenon, the truth is that relationships that have this issue rarely are worth saving.

He's starting to show signs of physical affection to a particular girl when you hang out in groups.

Photography Jingyu Lin

Some guys are natural flirts and will hug everyone in sight. This sign is not about guys like that, since it's normal for them to be touchy-feely.

What we're talking about is when a guy who is in a relationship can't seem to stop showing physical signs of affection to a particular girl...or if a married woman can't stop touching a specific guy.

Physical touch, including resting hands on their lower back, holding hands, sitting on their lap — those are all indicators that someone has fallen in love, and that the person receiving it seems comfortable with what's going on. Otherwise, it wouldn't be reciprocated.

If you notice your partner showing a lot of interest in a particular person, or getting very touchy with a particular person, you need to get worried. That interest and those gestures are signs your partner fell for someone else.

They're showing classic signs of infidelity.

Image via Nylon

Their phone and laptops are now heavily guarded. They accuse you of cheating. They are now spending less and less time with you, while spending more time "at work," or "with friends." Sex has petered off, and you can't remember the last time they seemed into you.

Everyone knows that these are classic signs of cheating. These signs tend to start showing themselves when someone is falling for another person. If you notice them happening frequently, then view them as signs your partner fell for someone else.

After all, that's basically what an affair indicates.

You know he's complained about something that is really upsetting him, but you haven't done anything about it — and he stopped caring.

This is a symptom of a relationship breakdown that most commonly is associated with sex. If he has always been badgering you for sex, and you regularly turned him down, he probably has been getting resentful or hurt.

When a man is still interested in a woman, he will usually try to talk things out or work on things. This is especially true if it deals with sex and he's a loyal man.

One of the most commonly missed signs your partner fell for someone else often can be seen in a sudden change in disposition. Many even think that the change may actually be a sign that their relationships are improving, only to get hit with divorce papers later on.

If he stops being upset about a lack of sex or similar relationship issues, it's because he's checked out — or getting his needs met elsewhere.

Your partner stopped making eye contact with you as often.

Photography Colin Dodgson

Some signs your partner fell for someone else can be hard to pick up on, but this one isn't it. When someone is in love with you, they tend to want to hold eye contact with you for a longer period of time.

If you notice that he's almost entirely stopped holding eye contact with you, it's a double-whammy. This means that he's fallen out of love with you — and that he may be trying to find a way to hide his guilt from the emotional affair.

They seem to be trying to pick fights or trying to find some valid excuse to dump you.

Photography Lulu Lovering

A classic sign that your partner is cheating involves the way they treat you. This much is common knowledge.

Though there are cases where the polar opposite is true, if your partner is cheating on you, their behavior towards you will typically change for the worse in other ways too. They may get mean, aggressive, or even start to project guilt onto you as a way to make themselves feel better for cheating.

In many cases, a partner who has fallen for someone else will get downright hateful to their official partner. This is because they feel resentful or even trapped by their "main squeeze." Some even may feel resentful because their main relationship is taking time away from their side piece.

But, there's more to this behavior than just a hotpot of screwed up emotions. In some cases, it can also turn into a sign that your partner wants to leave you for the other person.

Most people, when they fall for someone else, will eventually come clean and dump their partners. However, partners who have a need to be seen in a good light will often just try to get their partners to do the dirty work for them.

If you notice that your partner is picking fights, threatening to leave over something stupid, and doing similar ploys, it could be that he's trying to push you to break up with him.

Should you notice your partner doing this in your relationship, it's important to realize that this is abusive behavior and that you shouldn't tolerate it. Take a cue, and leave him.

He's starting to lock you out of social functions.

Photography Amanda Vincelli

This sign is particularly dangerous, because it actually tells you a lot more about how deep the problem is. It's not only a sign your partner fell for someone else; it's a sign they're looking to detach from you.

If your partner is now refusing to take you to company functions or social gatherings, it's a sign that they no longer want to be seen with you as a couple. It's also a sign that they don't want others to know that he's in a relationship.

At best, he stopped inviting you because the person he's interested in will be at these functions. At worst, it's the first step he's taking towards separating from you so that he can be with the other woman.

Either way, this is a good indicator that it may be time to pack your bags and find someone worth your time.

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About the Creator

Ossiana Tepfenhart

Ossiana Tepfenhart is a writer based out of New Jersey. This is her work account. She loves gifts and tips, so if you like something, tip her!

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