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Signs You're Dating A Narcissist

You should be on the lookout for these clues if you are concerned that your significant other has a narcissistic personality disorder. These are 10 signs you're dating a narcissist — and that you need to run!

By Kelsey LangePublished 7 years ago 5 min read

Fearful that your boyfriend or girlfriend might have Narcissistic Personality Disorder? Unfortunately, the term "narcissist" if too often thrown around to describe people who are simply vain.

Dealing with someone who suffers from this personality disorder is far more complicated. It is important to pinpoint the tendencies that match your significant other in order to be sure.

It is extremely hard to be in a relationship with an undiagnosed narcissist, and taking the first steps toward diagnosis may be even harder. Be sure to reach out to a licensed therapist if these clues all seem to match your relationship. A narcissist will likely never admit to their disorder. Also, it is important to be aware of some of the things that will most likely happen when you stand up to a narcissist.

The best way to deal with a narcissist is to avoid dating them — and dump them if you realize what they are. These are some of the most common signs you're dating a narcissist.

They can be extremely charming.

Though charming people are very infatuating, this continuous charm can often be a sign of a narcissist. Someone who is very good with their words can be dangerous, simply because they tend to know what they are doing. They also use this tactic to back peddle against the actions they may be doing to hurt you. Words are only words for a narcissistic person, and this is important to remember.

Because narcissism is a personality disorder, the way that they treat you is all due to this. For example, the narcissist has an inflated self-image that he has to protect, this way they come off as better and happier than their partner. And ultimately, we are charmed by people who are above us.

Conversations tend to revolve around them.

If there is one thing a narcissist loves, it is to talk about themselves. They might even love this more than they love you. This can lead to conversations that solely revolve around them, as well as interruptions from your own thought to be lead to a train of thought that has only to do with them.

They also commonly correct their partner, dismiss them, or just flat out ignore them and their expression. This is a very popular sign you're dating a narcissistic person.

Empathy is almost impossible for them.

A lack of empathy is apparent in all narcissistic people. It is almost impossible for them to feel emotion toward another person, let alone feeling sorry for someone in their life. This is what destroys relationships between someone who has this personality disorder, because they are solely invested in their own feelings to acknowledge another person's.

They can effortlessly hurt their partner just for them to turn around and apologize as if nothing happened. But this is only for them to gain you back or gain something from the relationship that can only make them happy in the long run. It is impossible for a narcissist to believe that they can cause pain to another person, let alone feel bad about it.

They can't be wrong.

A narcissist is always right, no matter what the circumstance. Your partner will blame every possible situation or person before he blames himself for something that went wrong if they are a narcissist.

They cannot hold themselves accountable for bad behavior, so they come up with excuses that caused them to act this way, or they flat-out deny that they were wrong in the situation altogether. Trying to get your partner to see your side of an argument is a waste of your breath. They will never accept defeat. This can, in turn, result in every problem in your relationship being your fault. Does this sound familiar?

Control, control, control.

A narcissist needs to have control over everything in their life, including their partner. If you start to see controlling tendencies in your relationship, especially early on, there is a high possibility that you are dealing with a narcissistic person.

They need to control their environment; and this can lead to an abusive relationship, either emotional or physical, or both. They fear that if they lose control, this results in failure. This goes hand in hand with their charm.

Be careful of a controlling narcissist because they can try to isolate their partner from people who may be trying to warn them of their partner's attributes. They also feel as if they are entitled to their partner. This is one of the top signs you're dating a narcissist.

They are extremely out of touch with their feelings.

Do you wish you had more of an emotional connectedness with your partner? Do you feel as if they have blocked themselves off from feeling strongly for you, compared to the way you feel for them? This can be a sign that you are dating a narcissist.

They lie, a lot.

Narcissistic personality disorder makes the person out of touch with reality. This often leads to a lot of lying or omitting from the truth. Does your partner lie about small, inconsiderable things? This is a tell-tale sign that they have narcissistic tendencies.

They will often lie so much that it is an unconscious behavior. Though if they are caught in a lie, they will never admit defeat. They will hold onto the lie and insist that it is true as long as they can. It is almost as if they are unable to admit their fault.

They can carry a grudge forever.

Holding grudges go along so many of the other signs of a narcissist; for example, lying, not being able to admit when they are wrong, and putting the blame on their partner all lead to this.

Narcissistic partners seem to hold grudges against actions that might be minuscule as a deflecting method. This way they cannot hold any of the blame that the relationship might be falling apart. Even if they have done much more wrong in the partnership, if their partner ever makes a mistake, that will be the reasoning behind mostly any negativity.

They make you feel like you're not good enough.

Thought this might not happen in the honeymoon phase, finding that you are constantly being put down in your relationship is one of the top signs you're dating a narcissist. They tend to mirror and project their own faults onto their partner.

It is also possible to see your significant other's negative traits in yourself; this is called "gaslighting," and can be extremely confusing. You might start to think that you are narcissistic yourself. This is why it is important to have outlets outside of your relationship that can help you see the truth.

They are extremely jealous.

Extreme jealousy is a red flag. Especially when they do things with the opposite sex that you would never be able to do. It might seem as if there is a double standard when it comes to a narcissist's jealousy.

They often fear losing the control they have over their life and their partner. This leads to a fear of abandonment, which entails absolute jealousy. This is also why it is so difficult to leave a narcissist for good.

This can even mean jealousy over the time their partner is spending with family, at work, and with anyone other than them. If you start to see this be a trend in your relationship, you are likely dating a narcissist.


About the Creator

Kelsey Lange

Passionate about writing, animals, makeup, movies, friends, family, learning, exercising, and laughing!

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    Kelsey LangeWritten by Kelsey Lange

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