Humans logo

Signs Women Send When They Aren’t Into You

by Jocelyn Joy Thomas 8 months ago in dating
Report Story

Women’s dating secrets revealed

Photo by Kristina Flour on Unsplash

Subtle and not-so-subtle signs are often missed by men (and women too). It’s pretty simple most of the time but a little effort to listen and read signs will make a big difference.

She drifts away

A lot of women don't want to be blunt and hurt your feelings, so they will drift away. Slowly the method, frequency, and amount you speak will decline. You might get a text instead of a call, then a delayed response in texts and texts will be shorter, and blander.

When directly asked she may say she is just busy, tired, or some other issue but that isn't exactly true. She just doesn't want to come right out and say it and hopes you will take the hint.

What to do- Fade away yourself, if she is interested she will contact you again, if she isn't she will be relieved.

She brings up a boyfriend

She isn't going to be talking about her boyfriend (past or present) if she is interested in you. Whether the boyfriend is real or not this is a standard go-away, tactic.

What to do- She could be friend-zoning you, so if you like her as a person, not someone to date, try being friends. Women really like having friends and not always being thought of as dating material.

Friend zone names

She says bro, dude, man, while this could just be the way she talks (if she is a bro) it’s not usually how a woman is going to speak to a guy she is really interested in. Maybe after a while when you two know each other, sure.

In the early stages it’s more likely she would try to let you know she is interested in taking you out of friend zone territory with more endearing names like babe, sweetheart, cutie, sexy, feel the difference?

What to do- Give it back, tell her what a great friend she is. If she is into you she will likely up her game to make sure you know how she feels. If she isn't she will welcome the confirmation that you can be friends only.

She keeps herself at a distance physically

One of the surest ways to know if a woman is interested in you is when they place a hand on your arm or shoulder, sit close to you, touch your hand. If none of those little things are happening, it’s a signal.

She isn't into you if there isn't some type of contact. Touching someone even just a little innocent touch on the arm can feel electrifying when you are into them.

What to do- Now don't go thinking she is totally into you if once in a while she might touch you on the shoulder, it has to be consistent. Notice how she acts with others to get an idea if she is holding back with you.

You always have to contact her

Some of the time, this can be due to anxiety, shyness, or uncertainty. Yet if you find yourself always having to be the one to reach out, chances are she isn’t into you. At least not right now.

What to do- If she is anxious cut her some slack, once you get to know one another better she will make more initial efforts.

If not, and this is often the case, look elsewhere she isn't contacting you for a reason. Do take the time to determine which of the two it is first.

She flirts then she ghosts

Hot and cold behavior can be confusing, is she into you or not? It goes back and forth. The reason some women do this is varied.

Boredom- They flirt when there’s nothing better to do.

Commitment phobic- They are fearful of committed relationships and know flirting can lead to one. So, while they want intimacy they may not be ready for a steady commitment right now.

Back up Plan- They may be using you as a backup option in case the guy they really want doesn't come through.

What to do- Either ask where you stand with her or cut the cords and find someone who is more consistent. Sometimes she needs a little reminder that guys have feelings, and she will realize she can’t come and go as she pleases. Other times, she really isn't interested and needs to let you go and stop wasting your time.

Reading signs can be hard, but if you read between the lines the answers are there. Actions add up, more so than words alone. If you pay attention you will know where you stand.


About the author

Jocelyn Joy Thomas

Writer, spiritual teacher, and travel enthusiast. Enjoying the journey! Join my mailing list and receive a free guide on How to Meet Your Guides in Three Steps!

Reader insights

Be the first to share your insights about this piece.

How does it work?

Add your insights


There are no comments for this story

Be the first to respond and start the conversation.

Sign in to comment

    Find us on social media

    Miscellaneous links

    • Explore
    • Contact
    • Privacy Policy
    • Terms of Use
    • Support

    © 2022 Creatd, Inc. All Rights Reserved.