Should sperm donors be allowed to meet their children?

Last week, I wrote a piece for a short story competition that wasn't everyone's cup of tea. A sperm donor goes in search of his offspring, bringing turbulence in his wake. 'Why would he do that?' some asked. 'Is that even allowed?' others questioned. I realized people have strong emotional feelings on this topic.

What are your thoughts?

I was led to this story idea by the prompt:

What was meant to be a great bonding vacation turns sour when an uninvited guest tags along.

Flummoxed, I was at a loss for original story ideas until this news item popped up:

Imagine this enthusiastic man showing up at your quiet summer vacation.

“What could possibly go wrong?"

The question asked in countless funny videos on Facebook. The type of video that begins right when a skateboarder, motorcyclist, or random animal abuser is about to begin on a beeline for certain disaster.

So, what could go wrong?

1. Bewildered child. When I was a child, having two parents was confusing enough. Dad said I should work harder at sports. Mom said that wasn't important. Mom turned a blind eye if I stole a cookie or two. Dad said I was grounded if I break any rules. It was confusing. And they talked to each other. Now, imagine having 3 parents, one who doesn't talk to the other two. This parental situation had better come with an instruction manual.

2. Big D*** Energy rivalry. The buffalo in the room. Fertility donations happen for a reason, as many as 50% of the time it's because of an infertility issue of the male partner. And he knows it. Like a wounded bull, he might lash out at any moment. Any sperm donor who wants to show up at another man's house better have the emotional agility of a skilled matador not to poke the ego of the wounded bull and dodge the horns that will inevitably come at him at some point.

3. Semantics. Who does the child call "Dad"? When a classmate asks a question, suddenly all his answers are not as easy. "Hey Noah, what did you do this weekend?" "My biological dad took me to lunch". People complain about single syllable pronouns, this kid has had a 5-syllable science word he needs to prefix before a close family member.

Disclaimer: #2 and #3 would not be the issue with a donor and an LGBTQ couple or a single mother, the other common users of sperm donation fertility treatments.

What could go right?

1. Gaining a lifetime supporter. Let's face it, parents are programmed to protect their own offspring. My child can mess things up over and over and I'll keep trying to dig them out of whatever hole they are in. If they insult me, I will most likely find a reason to think they were just in a bad mood that day. A very different reaction than, say a stranger accidentally bumping, into me at the supermarket. It takes a village to raise a child.

2. A sense of closure. If this kid becomes a fiction writer, not knowing their father will be a useful well for dramatic fiction writing. But in any other case, I can't help but think this would be an empty hole in their psyche. So for most people, they would be reassured just to know who that guy is. Who's my Dad? That guy who lives in Cincinnati. This is much better if he's doing something normal in Cincinnati and not living in the Lebanon Correction facility outside the city.

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Author's Note: If you are looking to adopt, I know of a child donor who has a 15-year-old available.