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She broke up with you? Here's what you should do next.

Whether you want to get your ex back or move on. These two things should get her running back to you.

By Suzan ChaukePublished 4 months ago 7 min read

You thought you've found the one. You know the person who you would spend the rest of your life with but the relationship is over. Calling it quits with the one you love is one of the most painful things you will ever experience in your life. I know the feeling it hurts. While no matter what the reason is, there's no easy way to deal with it. To be honest, you know we have different ways to cope with the pain of breaking up but did you know that there's one thing that you can do for yourself to not only help you heal quickly but to have her really wonder if she did the right thing and possibly even come running back to you?

It's not uncommon for people to sort of run to social media and talk about their heartbreak experience the minute it happens. When someone breaks up with their partner the first thing they do is, you know, go and post about it on social media. Some will choose to chase their ex start stalking them to the point that their ex would probably even block them on social media and everywhere else. I understand it hurts to be dumped by the person that you loved the most. It hurts to know that you will never be with them anymore but well this article has a very interesting revelation for you so keep reading.

There are two things you urgently need to do for yourself. If she just broke up with you, one is to activate the power of silence. Two, is to implement the no contact rule.

You may be curious to know why silence after a breakup is important. Well now that you and your partner have decided to call it quits, there will be misunderstandings, unclear feelings, hurt and of course, anger. It's normal to feel that you want to resolve the issues surrounding the breakup after all the time that you've spent loving each other. By practicing the silence and the no contact rule you're giving yourself a chance to analyze the situation objectively but what does silence and no contact rule mean exactly? As the term suggests it means that you will cut off any form of contact with your ex and you stay silent even if you know your ex's phone number by heart don't attempt to call. You stay quiet and just cut off everything that has something to do with your ex. This will give you the time you need to deal with the process of breaking up this is the hardest part of the process but it's the most crucial and critical part for you to move on. I agree it's not going to be easy and there will be many times that you will get the urge to contact your ex but fight it. Time will test you but don't give in to the temptation to post anything about the breakup or attempt to do anything to catch your ex's attention when you're hurt and confused you tend to be more vulnerable than you usually are. Chances are you'll be susceptible to actions that you will most likely regret later. Just stop, think, breathe and ask yourself "is this the path that you actually want to take?".

I mean yes you're hurt and you still love your ex deeply but begging or trying to contact her or talk wouldn't help your already damaged relationship. You actually might be pushing your ex away further from you.

Is staying quiet and cutting all communication the best revenge? I think it could be if your ex hurt you so much or is trying to push you away. Do you actually want to beg that person to stay in your life? Do yourself a favor and stay quiet. The best revenge that you can do is not to react at all or at least don't let your ex know that you are hurt.

Silence gives you space. It gives you time to think about everything that's happened and it's also very effective whether you want your ex to come back or if you just want the fastest route to moving on. Almost all people will respond to silent treatment because it sparks curiosity and anxiety at the same time. Remember this quote "silence is the best answer to someone who doesn't value your words".

Here are four ways silence can benefit you after a breakup:

1. You will have the upper hand after a breakup. Most people will still do everything they can to contact their exes some people even suggest that they still be friends while working on the relationship. Don't do this to yourself don't give your ex the upper hand by showing how desperate you are for their love, care and attention. Don't do it! You're better than this. If you use the power of silence instead after a breakup you will help yourself to move on quickly. Besides that, the no contact rule will help you get the upper hand.

2. Take note of that silence is louder after a breakup. Go completely silent. No drunk dialing, No cryptic social media posts. Complete silence will confuse your ex even more than you can imagine.

3. You will have time to think and to reflect. This method doesn't only aim to make your ex anxious, the person who will benefit from this method is none other than yourself. The power of silence after a breakup will give you time and basically that's all you need. Time heals wounds and it's true, it will hurt for sure but you can endure that. You're stronger than you think and if you have time use it to reflect. Your clouded judgment will soon fade and you'll be able to think. Use this time to reflect on your self-worth, self-love, how some things basically just don't work out and it's okay.

4. Tables will turn. If your partner initiated the breakup they might not be ready for you to give them a silent treatment post-breakup. If they never say it out loud or to another person they will definitely at some point ask themselves what's happening? Why isn't my ex calling me? Doesn't my ex value me? So, our breakup meant nothing? When you go quiet, your ex will also have time to think as well this will make them feel confused about whether you actually also love them and at times your ex might even start missing you and reconsidering all that I've mentioned.

How can you implement the no contact rule?

1. Fight the temptation to reach out. As I've already pointed out or hinted, calling your ex is the most tempting thing that you will face post-breakup when your partner decides to end your relationship. You want to know why, you want to know if there's a valid reason etc... You know you want to talk to this person and it seems that no matter how much you try to stop you have this urge to want to clarify things remember that your ex may not see it the same way. For your ex you're starting to become more desperate and needy and a bother. This may even actually just validate their decision to end your relationship. If you're hoping to get back, it won't happen.

2. Keep it simple. There can be many situations where you and your ex may need to talk. If you have a child together or if you need to talk about properties or activities you have together then it's inevitable. When you feel you have completed the first stage you can resume communicating with your ex but remember to limit things. You don't want feelings to come back for this person. For instance, if your ex asks you a question answer it straight forward don't start asking how they're doing, If you can get together some time for lunch or coffee. It's not important you've come so far so don't let that hard work go to waste.

3. Treat them just like anybody else. Another step on how to win this war is when you absolutely need to talk to your ex engage in a conversation as though they were a perfect stranger. No display of friendliness. No going out of your way. No special favors. None of it. If you do this right it will get to a time when you feel no pain in your heart whatsoever. That's when you will realize that you've actually overcome that heartbreak and heartache that you feel.

4. Be normal. Act normal. If you run into your ex at a party or an event, at the grocery store at the mall, don't run and hide just talk to them casually this will let them know that you're actually doing just fine without them.

In conclusion for some there might still be one question that needs to be answered. Will your ex miss you? Well, it depends. It really depends on the situation but with the silent treatment and the no contact rule there's a greater possibility that your ex actually will start to miss you, memories shared, mutual friends, all of these will start to mean something at some point. With a silent treatment you're giving this person, your ex will start to wonder if their decision of letting you go was actually worth it or whether it was a good one. I mean in any event, that your ex decides to try to win you back you're already in control of your emotions you're in control of the situation and that's enough for you to be able to make the right decision going forward. If someone's dumped you, implement these things and you'll always have the upper hand.

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    SCWritten by Suzan Chauke

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