Shape Your Choices

What if every question prompted a reversal question? Why don't 100% of eligible voters exercise their franchise? Could become 'Why do 56% of eligible voters vote?' Or 'How can eligible voters be discouraged from exercising their franchise?' Or …

The way we frame the inquiry or the solution dictates what we see in the picture. About 10 years ago, I served on a committee called "The Calgary Poverty Reduction Initiative," and we developed recommendations approved by the governing authority. The ideas were variations on actions that were already being taken in Calgary or elsewhere. What if we substituted Prosperity Creation for Poverty Reduction? The recommendations wouldn't resemble the created list, and execution would undoubtedly have been significantly different. It isn't just semantics, and framing speaks as much to our bias as to our optimism. Even when the outcomes might have a similar intention, we can imagine what the 'might have been of the path not taken.

It is worth the effort to pause when creating the boundaries and ask some what-if questions. What if we positioned this inquiry in an open-ended fashion? What if we focused on what we don't want to create? What if we ignored the current state and imagined a preferred future position? We might struggle with the ambiguity of a floating iterative question? It seems possible to find something unexpected in the journey and maybe even end up in Paris rather than Cleveland.

Every day we begin our 'research' inside a tight thesis, but we also have an opportunity to tilt the frame, build it from different stuff, or break the shape entirely and put the pieces together and then build the structure.

Make today Remarkable by knocking a picture off the wall,

B

Sitting on the sidelines or on your hands or with your hand over your mouth is the only real failure in life. Choosing not to join in, contribute or speak up is the ruination of a purposeful and remarkable life. Remarkable people use their strengths to strengthen others. Every moment in every day, you have the opportunity to choose remarkable.

So what drags us to the grandstand or the couch rather than playing the game? There are external forces at play. The single perfect reality TV model says," Go Home, You are Cut, You are Voted Off, You are Not Good Enough." As ridiculous as it seems to have 4 judges, chefs, or pseudo-celebrities deciding what talent or personality is, it is even crazier that this craze is still growing. Millions tune in every week to live vicariously through the small lives of characters on a screen being rated and chastised by people whose opinion should have very little value. But the popularity of watching network spectacles rather than living life and the premise that someone you don't know or care about should have a meaningful opinion about you creates a barrier to us raising our hand and saying," Put me in coach." If there isn't a coach, or even if there is, get off the bench and join in. Have fun doing it, and the more you try, the more proficient you will become (if that is important to you).

Every day, there are numerous times that an opportunity arises for you to share the load or take the lead. That's when you drag your mitts out from under your butt and say," I can do that," and then you go about getting it done. Whether it is something smaller like writing a note, making a call, checking out some sources, or something bigger like organizing the team, collecting relevant data, or guiding a decision-making process – you are capable. If you are willing and ready, then the opportunity will come your way.

The key to seeking permission is completing the assignment to the very best of your abilities and following up to see if anything else you missed or anything else arises from your efforts. Taking the extra step rather than the bare minimum sets you apart, but more importantly, it gives you confidence and a sense of accomplishment.

Sometimes the immediate, relevant, and concrete action needed is for you to speak up and support, modify or challenge an idea or premise. Even if your thoughts aren't fully formed, they can contribute to the active iteration and generate a new pathway for discussion. Speak up to add value to the debate, meeting, or conversation rather than win the day. Ask probing questions to understand, not defeat or belittle. I often observe passive/aggressive behavior in gatherings that derails the flow and stifles the open dialogue. When someone asks a clarifying question or asks someone to "say more," it leads to more diverse and ranging possibilities.

Success lies in doing one or all; getting in the game, taking your turn, and speaking up. Right or wrong, brilliant or naive, real or imagined isn't relevant. Playing with others with respect and interest leads to respect and curiosity being the norm, and it will gradually be reciprocated. It won't be immediately accepted because we have so many cannibalistic group encounters that leave us exhausted and without fresh fruit.

But I/we can start the change today. If you spend more than a couple of hours in the company of others, there will be dozens of chances to shift tone by merely becoming an active participant or agreeing to use your skills to make sure something gets done. Either or both will reduce any tension in the group and leave others with a sense of relief and maybe a bit surprised.

Take time today to measure the quality of your interactions. Am I asking to hear more or asking to trap her? Did I want to understand better or embarrass him? What did I learn? How will that change something for me/us? Am I better for having spoken up? Are others better? Will this move the discussion closer or farther away from some resolution?

We all have choices, and all our options create consequences, so if we are mindful of what we choose, we can be confident that the results will carry that same care and respect.

Make today Remarkable with remarkable choices,

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