Respect

Respect is the fragment of a disenfranchised afterthought; that only in hindsight becomes 20/20 for self-realizations. Since the dawn of mankind the muttered words of “What are we coming to?”, has always seeped from the lips of many; and here we are at another change as another batch of younger generations break away from the old. What is respect? A term that fall under being a noun, verb or idiom. A reference for particular detail, esteem for one’s worth, something or someone considered to have certain rights or privileges, a condition of being honored, a formal expression, a consideration, to refrain from intruding upon (if used as a verb) or providing an esteemed bow written on paper to another.

Respect does not guarantee no hard feelings but respect does ease the pain. Does honoring thy mother and father blindly constitute as respect; even if it means reciprocating disrespect? Does respect constitute tolerating mistreatment from another person, even if it means reciprocating disrespect? Does respect etch into the souls of others whom you do not allow to disrespect you? Does respect mean they can only agree with you? Does respect mean doing only what you want? Does respect to others outweigh in value to respecting yourself? Do others respect you when you respect yourself; and if so then why does it take them to start the trend?

I think of respect as boundaries that an individual has set for themselves and it is only a concept for the highly emotionally intelligent. It is impossible to know the boundaries every individual has set for themselves and why they have set them; but communication would provide clarity to any question. Respect rolls in tandems of an individual speaking up for themselves whether it means “No I do not want to live with you”, “No I am not interested”, “Stop”, “I do not want to give out my information”, “I have changed my mind”, “I do not like that”, “I do not want that”, “I am not comfortable”, and a bevy of phrases or sentence starters. However, why does the listener deem that their opinions and their desires are more valuable than the speaker they are choosing to disrespect. Respect is a conversation. Respect includes not imposing your desires or lack of cares onto another person because only you matter; because essentially that is what you are saying. You do not matter.

“That’s how they are” or “We’re family”, a common cheap rhetoric spat reflexively to validate the disrespect received and why the other deserves respect. It is exactly as I state it; cheap rhetoric to validate the bullshit. When an individual refuses to tolerate disrespect when boundaries are crossed, usually it is always the thief that feels robbed. Can the world be perfect? No, but it can be more respectful. The need for subtle or complete domination is an addiction; it’s all the “rage”. Respect should not be earned because it insinuates the person who has to earn is less valuable to begin with. It echoes in volumes when respect is given; if it is taken away then it would be based upon reasoning.

I believe in putting your best foot forward; and everything else is left in the other person’s court. Who you are will never change but the attitude and respect (if continually given) is up to the other person. If one loses another’s respect then we must question what did you do to lose it? No one is above another. The child should be given respect from the parent and the parent reciprocates respect from the child. The employee should be given respect from their employer. Lovers should give respect to each other. Friends should give respect to each other. Strangers should give respect to each other. Enemies should give respect to each other. You do not have to love the person or like the person; but respect can take one miles. I think to intentionally disrespect another is what causes most wars on small personal scales to large ones. Accident disrespect is another avenue that requires a genuine apology and how the person behaves from there dictates everything. It is not as difficult as people make it seem. I do not have the answers to solve all of the world’s grey problems but perhaps this could be a start. And if unprovoked disrespect finds its way to your doorstep; then diplomatically humble a mutha….