Post-divorce period: when do not commitment relationships cease to be the norm
The non-commitment in relations become common not only among those who are divorced but also among young people
The non-commitment in relations become common not only among those who are divorced but also among young people. The reason is the fear of repeating a failure in a relationship. In fact, such a reaction after a divorce is somewhat natural. But when a person spends many years in a relationship without commitment, it is worth seriously considering that this is not entirely normal. This is especially true among women since it is much easier for men to overcome this fear.
Why Do Many Resorts to Non-Commitment in Relations?
There are several reasons why people do not want to have a serious relationship but resort to a relationship without commitment. Here are some of them:
• There is no desire to let a person into your life, but there is the presence of a feeling of fear of loneliness.
• Fear of recurrence of unpleasant situations that were in a previous marriage. This can be treason, reproaches, spouse dependence, and even violence.
• The desire to protect oneself from mental suffering in the event of a breakdown.
• Fear of falling in love with another person again.
These are the underlying causes that drive those who survive the divorce. Many do not even understand that they are driven by fear, but think that in this way they simply avoid mistakes and make their life happy.
Feeling of Freedom
Those who want to divorce often also want to get divorce papers online so as not to interfere with their spouse. Moreover, it is also very convenient, you just file divorce docs and sigh with relief. But this is only the beginning of the best divorce with Onlinedivorcer.
When the trial ends and the judge makes the verdict, the person feels free from the hardships of family life and in most cases says that freedom is above all. There are no obligations, no need to bear responsibility for the relationship. Such behavior may be normal if it does not drag on for years, but only for a certain period of time. Because if you live like this for a long time, you simply feed your fear and it will be more difficult to get out of this state and start a family again.
Hostage to Your Fear or Pseudo Defense
When a person after divorce begins to change partners and does not build a serious relationship, he or she refers all this to the desire to diversify routine. Moreover, “diversifying routine” is becoming quite normal in society and it is even a good reason. Only if you look deeper, then a person just drowns in his fear. A person without understanding it becomes a hostage not of routine, but of a certain scenario of relations that protects them from negative emotions.
Fear Must End
It is imperative to learn how to deal with the fear of obligations after the divorce process ends. If you do not begin to do this, in fact, you will still remain in the power of your ex-spouse. “I don’t want such pain from treason anymore”, you think and once again recall your ex. "I do not want to listen to these reproaches anymore" again, you recall your spouse. “I don’t want to live with such an irresponsible person anymore” and here again the person with whom you ended the relationship returns to your life.
When you move to a new stage in your relationship with another person, fear will throw your memories of the ex. And this way, you simply cut off the opportunity to be happy again. In fact, you are still in the power of your ex-spouse. And you should break up this circle.
How to Overcome Such Fear and Build a Serious Relationship Again?
First of all, you need to understand yourself. Revise your perspective on relationships. You do not need to think about that you will again be cheated or rebuked. Instead, you need to change focus.
• Think about how a person with whom you are ready to have a relationship should look. No need to resort to a comparative analysis with the former spouse. Just emphasize what is important to you in a person.
• Think about what you can do to make your relationship happy. And here you can analyze your previous marriage because maybe some of your actions have affected the relationship of the spouse to you. Usually, two people are always to blame for a divorce, so most likely you will underline your mistakes.
• As soon as you begin to feel that your new partner wants to move to another stage in the relationship, talk about what he expects. Make this conversation frank and decisive. After you hear what the partner wants, think whether you need the same thing and whether it is worth spending time on each other.
• Be careful with dating sites. Many experts suggest trying to start a relationship there, but in some cases, it will only give you fear in a relationship. Online spaces are the best place for relationships without obligations, and if you want to end such relationships you will have to abandon such platforms.
If you understand that your fear has exceeded all permissible standards, then consider seeking professional help from a psychologist. So you can overcome your fear faster and much more effective than yourself. This is especially true when you understand that your fear is a real phobia.
Many do not even think about the fact that family values are on the verge of extinction. Relations without obligations begin to generate mass divorces. But in fact, this type of relationship is not a natural scenario of relationships in human behavioral psychology. This is only a scenario that not only appeared in society but was also deeply rooted.
Such behavior is quite natural in the lives of both women and men after a divorce, but it should only be temporary. If you feel that such a model of behavior is rooted, it is better to start taking measures to combat the fear of relationships. Otherwise, you are subjecting yourself to misfortune rather than being happy again!