Please Don't Call Me Strong: Mental Health and the Black Woman

In celebration of 2023’s Mental Health Month, I’d like to discuss a topic that doesn’t get a lot of attention… Black women’s mental health.

Envision accomplishing a daunting feat by running through a marathon course of 26.2 miles on an extremely rough terrain under scorching hot weather until you reach the finish line where you are greeted with the words, “Excellent! Now, do it again tomorrow.” This remark would surely leave you in astonishment and on the brink of collapsing, but incredibly enough, you would still have the strength to participate in another marathon the following day.

This time, as you stagger towards the end, your legs throb and your body screams out in exhaustion. You finally cross the finish line and hear words of encouragement. “Awesome job now do it again” You gasp for air, barely able to utter. “I'm so tired.” Yet, you are reassured in a calm voice: “Don't worry, just keep persevering.” Black women constantly receive this message as they assume additional responsibilities with little assistance, leading to detrimental effects on their mental and physical well-being.

Juggling full-time jobs, family obligations, and trying to maintain some form of a social life can be overwhelming, to say the least. Despite the overwhelming load on their plates, Black women persevere and soldier on. Drained, fatigued, and demoralized, they sometimes find themselves in tears. Yet, when they muster the fortitude to be candid and expose the challenge of managing a family, work, school, church, and community involvement, usually, without hesitation, colleagues, friends, and family will rally with a chorus of encouragement: “Don't worry, you can handle this. This is no sweat. You've got it. It's normal to feel the pressure. Your Black girl magic will help you power through.” They shower them with motivation. Or is it?

These outsiders' words lack any real inspiration, leaving Black women feeling hollow because encouraging individuals to reach their objectives involves more than just using enthusiastic chants and slogans. Motivation requires empathetic listening while providing necessary support tailored to their individual needs. So, in response, with no other choice but to rely on the unfailing resilience that Black women possess - they continue to “just push forward.”

Enduring hardships with fortitude is commendable, however, it should not be the sole factor shaping a Black woman’s identity. White females have been allowed to perceive themselves as the hero and the damsel in distress. Black women are never portrayed in the media as the helpless victim in need of rescue. In fact, it’s very rare if ever to see a Black woman feel comfortable enough to express vulnerability and sensitivity or to seek assistance or be awkward, even weird. It's essential that we provide Black women with a safe space to make errors and receive help without criticism.

This cultural implication and a prevalent misconception have resulted in Black women not receiving proper mental health treatment. The widely-held myth is that Black women are inherently strong and capable of enduring any situation; which leaves no room for any margin for error. Without the backing of family, healthcare experts, and our bosses, our mental and physical health will deteriorate if we persist.

The condition we are in requires urgent attention as the overall mental well-being of the American populace is deteriorating, with women of color and Black women being disproportionately affected. Depression, despair, and unworthiness are more frequently experienced by Blacks compared to adult whites. Additionally, incidents of severe mental illness increased among all Black individuals from 2008 to 2018. It appears that we are lauded for our strength but not respected as human beings.

Upon seeking support from fellow professionals, Black women's struggles are often met with mere expressions like: “You're so strong. If anybody can do it a Black woman can.” Leaving Black women to ponder: “Why does my Blackness make me stronger in their eyes? Why was that trait exemplified over others?”

Upon closer examination, one can discern a recurrent theme originating from the era of colonialism and slavery. Black women had the arduous task of managing their households, tending to their children's needs, and simultaneously caring for white families. This involved aiding them in structuring their affairs and raising their offspring.

Black women are double minorities as they face both racial and gender injustices, placing them in the thick of many of the societal issues that afflict our country. Despite not actively choosing strength, their resilience often arises as a coping mechanism to mitigate the alternative of death, which historically was their only other option.

I intend to have you not become a detached employee or colleague ignoring the suffering and grief that your fellow Black coworkers, associates, and acquaintances experience. Rather, I aim to provide you with guidance on effectively connecting with a Black woman and extending assistance during difficult moments.

As a society, it's crucial that we shift away from taking advantage of the powerful qualities of Black women and instead focus on valuing, recognizing, and nurturing their entire being.

Advancing a culture of inclusion through intentional positive and conscious actions that benefit others is one of the most impactful ways individuals can contribute to equitable inclusive organizations. One must learn how to be an effective ally in the workplace through everyday interactions, in-the-moment interventions, and ongoing advocacy.

To create a workplace that values inclusivity and equality, individuals must engage in deliberate, positive actions that benefit others. Developing the skills to become an ally involves consistent efforts in daily interactions, immediate interventions, and continuous advocacy. Only then can we foster a culture of inclusion and make a substantial impact toward building equitable organizations.

To effectively combat the mistreatment and stereotypes faced by Black women and women of color, it is imperative to conduct workshops on unconscious bias. Merely perceiving Black women as strong also contributes to implicit bias, hindering one from providing genuine help assuming they're capable of handling things themselves. Such biases need to be addressed to cater to the actual needs of Black women who may not always be okay despite the facade. Lastly, listening circles are needed for a truly inclusive culture. These would provide employees an opportunity to express their experiences at and beyond work and feel acknowledged, attentive, esteemed, and cherished.

We need a community that is ready to step outside of their comfort zones for the betterment of society. This means engaging in tough conversations, introspection, and self-awareness, as it is impossible to address issues that we are not aware of. It is our responsibility to acknowledge and uplift the Black woman, educate ourselves about her experiences, provide support, and refrain from exploiting her strength for individual benefit.

Indeed, her strength is admirable. She takes pride in it. She also exhibits love, kindness, sweetness, gentleness, passion, brilliance, creativity, and ultimately, humanity.

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