Peace Of Mind & Mattresses Or How I Learned To Appreciate My Bed

There is nothing more important nowadays than our mental health, and our peace of mind. It is priceless.

Mental health has always been important, and the Covid pandemic just emphasized how crucial it is to our overall performance as functional human beings.

Burn-out, exhaustion, stress and anxiety have become daily burdens and reminders that we can't keep up with life if we do not take care of ourselves.

It's really unfortunate that on this day and age of social media dominance and instant gratification, we somehow glorify working ourselves to the ground. I know, since around this time last year, my body and mind had enough.

To me working late after midnight, sleeping two or four hours, working during days off, were somehow a badge of honor. I never realized I was just harming myself. Until one day, I just couldn't sleep. My internal clock went haywire, I developed insomnia, I lost thirty pounds, I developed intestinal problems.

I am a Kansas City Chiefs football team fan, and last year they went to the Super Bowl. I didn't care. I told my family if they saw me falling sleep on the couch, to just let me sleep. The next day, I had a nervous breakdown.

I lost all interest in everything I liked. I stopped talking to my friends because I was embarrassed of my situation. I stop showering. I was so deep in my depression that I just didn't see any point on keep going.

The only refuge I had left was my bed, and even that failed to bring me any comfort. I realized later on it wasn't anything wrong with my bed. It was the fact that I didn't give it the respect it deserved. Once I realized that my bed couldn't provide me with the peace of mind I required, I knew it was time to change my bad habits.

I'm going to list a few things that helped me in the past year to get back on track with my much needed sleep, and improving my mental health. All of this started with my bed.

1) Your Bed Is Your Ally

It doesn't matter how comfortable or technologically advanced your bed is, if it doesn't have the right environment around it, it will not be able to provide you with the rest you need.

My room was a mess. Clothes piling up, desk covered in paperwork. Once I ran out of space, my bed became my second desk. Your bed should be cleared from anything that has nothing to do with your sleep. Your bed should be pillows and blankets (and maybe a plush toy or two). Speaking of...

2) Your Bed Should Bring Comfort To Your Soul And Not Only To Your Body

I have a tiger and a Spider-Man plush toy at the edge of my bed. The reason? The plush tiger brings happy childhood memories, and the Spider-Man was given to me by someone I care and appreciate a lot. Before I close my eyes, no matter how the day went, I see these two objects and my brain is flooded with good memories, helping me rest and relieve stress.

There's a reason people have a picture of their partner, family, pet at work. To bring them some sort of peace in a very stressful environment. Your bed is no different. Use anything at your disposal that could bring you comfort. A book, a blanket. Avoid watching T.V. before going to bed, avoid browsing through your favorite apps. Put the phone away. Your brain should rest, and avoid bombarding it with unnecessary information.

3) Your Bed Is For Rest. Nothing Else.

I can't stress this one enough. Stop using your bed as a workspace! I talked during the introduction about people having nowadays the misplaced notion and twisted sense of pride of working in bed. I used to do it. Kept working on my laptop and then setting it aside so I can grab it first thing in the morning! Big mistake.

Productivity is not related to the hours we put into work. I used to stay awake typing until 3am, and then waking up at 6am to keep it going. My mind started to identify my bed as a second job site. My body was twitching, I had night sweats, my eyes hurt due to just "closing them" and trying to keep them shut. My bed became a stressful environment.

I decided that enough was enough. My laptop stays in the living room, on an assigned table, and I don't see it until the next day. I set myself a time to work at home, and stick to it. No matter if I know that if I keep it going, I would be able to do more, no matter how tempting it can be, I stop everything. I know it's hard. We live in a world that moves a hundred miles per hour and somehow we feel we are going to be left behind, but trust me when I say that the only reason you are slowing down is because your brain and body are tired.

4) Sleep Hygiene & Room Dynamic

We often hear the sleep hygiene term thrown at us when asking what can we do to improve our sleep, and more often than not, the answer is not quiet clear. It's actually pretty simple. It's about discipline and commitment. Everything starts with waking up and sleeping at the same time everyday. This might sound simple but if you have suffered or currently suffering of insomnia like I did, it seems like an impossible task. All you want to do is sleep, no matter if it's 8am, 3pm or 7pm. You just want to catch some sleep! The problem is that you actually are throwing your body into a frenzy by doing so. Your body no longer knows when to rest, when to sleep, when to be awake. It is one of the toughest and most terrifying experiences I had in my life.

I spent a week at my sister's. I got away from my house, my room and my bed. There was no longer any comfort there. You need to reset yourself. At my sister's, I went to bed at 10pm, woke up at 7am, drank a glass of water, went back to bed, woke up at 10am, eat breakfast, went to work, eat lunch at noon, got off work, eat dinner at 5pm, no work at home, read or watch T.V., have some tea and peanut butter with some fruit around 8pm, shower, and get ready to sleep at 10pm.

Now, by any means, this is not a set of guidelines to follow but this is what worked for my body. It took me three days from that week to fall asleep. It is going to be hard, but your body is a tool that adapts and learns. You just need to be willing to help it. Find your rhythm, your routine. Your body needs to have some sense of normalcy.

After my body recovered, my mind was next. With my insomnia, there was a moment when I felt that the clocks around my house were mocking me with every tick-tock. Every time I heard the next hour, I knew the sun was going to start shining through my window. I started to cry every time. I was terrified of the sun setting in.

2am, tick, 3am, tock, 4am, tick, 5am, tock...

I removed every clock, just like Captain Hook, from my house. No noise that would remind me of that dreadful experience. Change is scary but sometimes, change is what we need. Don't be afraid of moving things around. Trust me, it is a liberating feeling.

5) Have Clean Sheets, Blankets & Pillow Cases

This one is going to be short. You know how you feel clean and refreshed after a nice shower or bath? Well, your bed is no different. Wash your sheets, pillow cases, and blankets every Monday and you will notice the difference.

6) Therapy

Therapy is an amazing tool that will help you knowing exactly where your standing in terms of your mental health. I was diagnosed with Severe Depression with Suicidal Tendencies. Now, this doesn't mean I want to end my life or anything like that, but the mix of depression, insomnia and lack of sleep made me feel there was no point in keep on going. My workaholic behavior was a form of self-destructive behavior, and I believed I didn't deserve to be happy.

What does this have to do with my bed? EVERYTHING!

Mental illness will always be present. It's not something you can just brush off or turn it on & off with the flick of a switch. The issue was that my body and my mental health were the ones fighting the illness off. I am proud of having a wonderful sense of self-awareness, self-reassurance and self-confidence. That's what keeps me moving, and what makes me what I am. Depression and insomnia stripped me from what I value the most, and left me completely vulnerable.

Since I wasn't able to rest, my body started to break down, and with my body shutting down, my mind followed suit by starting to deteriorate.

My therapist told me that the hardest part is still yet to come. Now that my illness was able to win a battle, it will come back for more. It tasted victory, and it won't go away easily. It's up to me to keep fighting, and it starts by giving my mind and body a place from where both of them can defend themselves. My bed has become my safe shelter.

I never realized how important a good night sleep really meant. It's going to be a year since my body and mind broke down. I am stronger now. I'm still fearful, though. There are days when I see the void staring back at me, but now I'm ready.

I sincerely hope you prioritize yourself in this new year. Commit to yourself. Regroup, change the way you do things. Stagnation, apathy and routine are dangerous when we confuse them with progress and safety. I wish you luck, I hope you have a well deserved rest, and that you are able to find your peace of mind.