Our Melody

“I’ll use you as a makeshift gauge of how much to give and how much to take”. -Amber Run. The words were spoken in a melody of solitude, a song I have been dancing to on repeat long before I heard them play for the very first time. Meaningful words never lose their rhythm, and as I have been looping through my own memories vying for some sense of reason behind what happened all those years ago, I am coming to understand that my own anthem is created by how I choose to view my own past. Gene Watson ruined my comprehension of trust, but he could never touch the one thing unique to its owner.

Love is known as this universal thing we all like to describe as a burning desire from someone, but the amount of passion and respect for someone you are in love with should never be describable by words. I had infinite amounts of time to truly feel on my own, and to gain perspective. Yet, never have I found words for the most incredible person I have ever met. There are days when I succumb to numbness, new memories arise of old times when I felt victimized by the few men I was taught to trust, and it is in irony that the one thing I love most is not to whom I dedicated this work to.

I was racing 90 miles an hour up the backroads to the city South of me. I had succumbed to the power of speed and control at my fingertips, until suddenly my foot let off the gas and I took a breath to just glance at the rolling hills surrounding me. This had been my cage. My mind had swept me up in a tumble of confusion and trying to understand for so long that I hadn’t even realized what a beauty I was blessed to have.

This amazing human has opened my eyes to the world beyond what I can see. The world I can feel.

I had spent countless nights as a child engulfed by pain and senseless lack of speech. He wanted to show me the world he lived in. A world that lacked pain. A religious world where faith guides you to where you need to be rather than what you crave. “If you talk enough sense then you’ll lose your mind”. Amber Run has brought sound to the voice in my head. And this incredible person has brought the voice to my lips.

Him, I shall name Divine, for above all else he is an incredulous being with wisdom and faith. If you placed the beauty of those mountains, the mystery of the human mind, and the kindness of the heavens itself into a sole being, it would not be enough to describe this one human. I am courageous to call him mine, and forever grateful, for it is he who has opened my heart and rebirthed my soul.

There was a night among many where we were high above our minds on green, contemplating sleep but enjoying ourselves a bit too much to do so. He made a brief joke about our souls intertwining, but the more I think about it the more I wonder why people are afraid to say it with certainty the things they feel physically. I have spent a fair amount of years in fear of people believing that my words are simply crazy. Some things have to be taken slightly short of seriously, but I have full intentions to share with anyone who cares to hear it the story of how my soul was touched by my Divine man.

When I closed my eyes, I could feel his safety, like a blanket warming me from the inside; his soul was present at my fingertips. There was a glow to him, followed by his warmth that subconsciously opened me up to things I never thought possible. That night was no exception. It was as if I had escaped my body and moved beyond to have him hold me, spinning in slow motion as we danced to the beat of time. We were invincible, glowing white. We did not need to speak. The simplicity was astounding for my heart abruptly became his. Our body was an entity, and we continued to emit this incredible light of gold and white, all at the same time.

Yes, marijuana can make you feel some pretty incredible things, but this was an enhanced reality. I understood in that moment that I belonged to him, and my life had become something he could hold and maneuver through his own actions. The serenity in our dance had only just begun, followed by endless moments just like that one.

When we had first met, Divine had asked me if I believed in Romance. To be frank, I was caught off guard by this man I had hardly known. I explained to him that indeed I did, but I felt as though many people had a skewed perception of it from media and statistics gone wrong. Never could I have foreseen that he would be the one to truly rekindle my love for Love.

This man who everyone had told me from the start to be aware of, because he was known for making and breaking hearts, was the very same man to show me the strength inside myself. He was peculiar, but he opened up a side to me that I felt honored to ever be near. Divine has the most amazing freedom, allowing him to try everything he pleases to attempt. He is not a child of Earth, stuck in the rut of living by society’s rules. I was captivated by his understanding of creating who you are instead of allowing the world to create you. There is so much depth in his soul, and so much wisdom behind those deep sea colored eyes. He speaks without hesitation, describing the flaws in our system and his desire to live by his own accord rather than all the tiny details of the government which controls us all, day by day. I shall not be aware of him in fear of getting hurt, but rather in my awakening to the truth that Romance exists in the very places many will often overlook. For Love and evermore, we had become ours.