Open Space

In all honesty I thought that when the time came to write this paper on the final chapter of contemplative dance practice: open space, that I would be able to define open space. However, I find myself still asking…what is open space? I feel as though it is a space in which a group of individuals holds in order to provide way for original expression in a communal space. Therefore, there is room to express oneself within an influential environment. “Individuals become a group; the improvisation is a single total event, or succession of events in which each person becomes simply a part” (Forti 72). In this explanation of the space I feel the key word is simply. It is important that within the space we do not feel the need to perform or take part in something we do not feel connected to do so.

Open space is the completion of the full practice of contemplative dance. I believe all aspects of the practice are equally important, especially in the order in which we have been taught to practice. I know that I need time devoted to sitting practice to get myself there. It is the perfect transition from running around the outside world back into the immediate environment and myself. Transitioning into personal awareness helps to prepare my body and mind with synchronicity in order to eventually evolve into open space. “Group improvisation demands an opening of the attention, both to the work space and to the corpus of people in the space, as an ever-changing pattern of sound, activity, colour and energy” (Forti 73). With awareness of the space it becomes both freeing and daunting. It calls you in and pushes you away; like the ocean waves pulling and pushing.

It has become aware to me that each of us have our own personal struggle when it comes to entering the space. At first I truly thought it was dependent on what kind of day I was having. Sometimes I felt exhausted from paying catch-up with my schoolwork, other times I could not get my head to stay I the room. When there are so many things going on in your life it is hard to let the mind be still and rest while it can. I also have trouble sleeping so sometimes my body just did not feel like moving once it stopped. Furthering the practice though something deeper came up. I thought back on something I had said on the very first day of class when we were asked how we felt; I responded by sharing how I felt playful. Contemplating this thought along with my resistance to go into the space I realized what was really behind my struggle. It was the feeling of deep play that frightened or deterred me. When I was growing up I did not have much of a childhood. I grew up in an unhealthily cluttered house that caused me to miss out on typical childhood activities. It also gave me a sense of shame that led to me growing up extremely introverted. I learned to entertain myself in small, claustrophobic spaces and to make excuses when peers wanted to get together.

I believe I relate open space to deep play, which takes me back to childhood. There are a lot of pieces of my past that I have suppressed rather than worked through, because I did not feel I had the resources I needed at the time. It is not that going into the space feels wrong to me; it is simply unfamiliar and therefore daunting. Most times I feel awkward when it comes to interacting with others, especially in a space that can be very raw and very vulnerable. However, I have also realized I cannot let that fear control me. “All the experiences we are going through are some what workable. And it is not just your lonely trip, but somebody has done it already…Finally, you come down to earth, where those experiences are not all that outrageous or fantastic, but real” (Trungpa 68). This notion was something I began to accept after we held the speaking circle in class and was provided with the realization that we al have our issues. We all have past skeletons to clean out of our closet, we all have fears and that is part of our nature.

It is at the point in which we are willing to challenge ourselves, to sit with and work through the things that hold us back that we discover the true freedom of open space. This is the moment in which we see that open space is everywhere and anywhere. “You do not want to get a hold of just one chunk of mindfulness and stick with it, but you experience the mindfulness and its shadow, the environment around it” (Trungpa 25). It is a combination of internal and external awareness. It is the moment in which we take care of ourselves while being a part of holding the space for others. Here is an excerpt from a poem (Follow Your Fears) that I wrote inspired by facing my fears of open space:

Too hard to constantly look back…

It eats away at me everyday, as a matter of fact.

However, everyday is a fresh start for me.

Stopped leaning on what could have been, & started looking at what could be.

Like riding a bike, there is only one way to keep your balance.

You have to keep moving…that is the challenge.

Take risks, be brave, ignore the interference.

There is nothing in this world that could replace experience.

It’s about the places we go, people we meet, things we do my dear…

We must travel in the direction of our fear.

It should derive from your dreams, if not the aren’t nearly big enough.

Stand tall with open eyes and keep your skin tough.

I may not have made it to where I want to go, but I think this is exactly where I need to be.

To be honest, its not easy, but the challenge is adrenaline to me.

You aren’t living if you take on the world with stealth.

Life isn’t about finding, but instead creating yourself.

So with the ability to challenge myself and going beyond my fears, I feel it is important that I get in touch with my inner child. “If your mind is empty, it is always ready for anything; it is open to everything. In the beginners mind there are many possibilities; in the experts mind there are few” (Suzuki 21). Rather than letting my mind resort to the past, I need to let it be open and empty, therefore available to all possibilities. This way I can truly experience what the space has to offer. With the more freedom in open space my creative process outside of the space has blossomed as well. Open space has a world of wonder to offer if we embody and value the raw vulnerability as something positive rather than negative. Here are the first two stanzas of another poem (Cosmetology of Plight) that I wrote with inspiration from the space:

When you look to the sky

Do the clouds form shapes,

As they float on by…

Depicting emotions I dear not face?

Does the sunshine,

As bright as my smile…

Peaking behind each “I’m fine”,

Bringing out my inner child?

Open space is a place of discovery a space to explore our deepest curiosities of both the surrounding environment and us. To me, open space is inner child meets present state of mind and whatever the current moment wants to make of that.

Works Cited

Forti, Simmone. “Groups and Spaces”. Handbook in Motion. 1974. 72-73. Print.

Suzuki, Shrunryu. “Zen Mind, Beginners Mind”. Shambhala Library. 2006. 21-22. Print.

Trungpa, Chogyam. “Art in Everyday Life”. Dharma Art. 25-31. Print.

Trungpa, Chogyam. “Self-Existing Humor”. Dharma Art. 66-68. Print.