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Once, Twice, Three Times a Lady!!!

How Do We Define Thee?

By Maurice BernierPublished 6 years ago 6 min read
Photo by Cody Davis on Unsplash

I am an OLD man. I am merely 61 years old. Okay, I am not a fossilized redwood tree, but I have been around the block so much that I am almost dizzy. My head, however, is still connected and very functional. So, now, I will begin.

I am sure that we have heard the terms female, woman, and lady before, but what do they really mean? How do we apply them? How can we tell the differences between them?

Folks, the answers are not difficult at all. Just like you can see and taste the difference a bowl of ice cream, a strawberry shortcake, and a chicken sandwich, you can easily tell the difference between the terms, female, woman, and lady.

I am an English teacher. So, let's study the English language here.

Let us start with the term female. What is a female? Well, to be very honest, I see a female as some human being who is not of the male gender who is starting out in life. As they go on and mature, they will rise to the level of a woman, but she has a degree of immaturity. She has a lot to learn. She needs to develop her brain more than her body. She needs to know that there is a lot to learn and a way to carry herself. In the opposite sex, we are called males. At that stage, we also have a lot to learn. We are no different than females in that regard. There is nothing wrong with that stage as long as that person is trying to grow.

The next stage after a female was the girl stage. For me, it was the boy stage. We weren't quite there, yet, but we saw that we still had some growth traveling to do. We needed more maturity and we had to learn what was to be expected of us. Girls were expected to know even more to become girls. We boys had to get some maturity, too. We are just not too much different in understanding that we had a path to follow.

The next stage is the one where we will see huge differences. What is a woman? Well, a woman still has some learning to do just like a man has some learning to do, too. A woman still has some social growing to do. She may, at times, be loud and troublesome. She may expect things being given to her without earning them. She may yell and scream and demand. We guys, at our similar stage, would be called men, but we have some growing to do, too. A woman feels that she should be waited on hand and foot. Men are like that, too. You would hope that it was a passing stage, but some strongly embrace it and will never let it go.

So, what is a lady? I love this stage because it is the greatest stage of them all. It is the highest honor that can be given. A lady is a highly refined individual. She loves and is loved. She is kind, wonderful and beautiful. She appreciates and cares. She treats all who meet her very well. She is both smart AND wise. She is soft spoken and never calls any sort of attention to herself. She is style and grace. She is never loud in any way, shape or form. She is highly treasured. She is the most highly developed creature on the planet. In some places, she is rare. In others, she is plentiful. To become a lady takes a ton of work, but she was willing to do it. It is so easy to spot a lady. She may or may not be married. She attracts her equivalent, a gentleman. He is the one who uses his manners, holds the door open, kind or simply says a few nice words just to see her smile. That is a gentleman. These are qualities that are not learned in a classroom, but in the school called life.

On this topic, Wikipedia notes, "The word lady is a civil term of respect for a woman, specifically the female equivalent to gentleman, and also an English-language formal title. 'Lady' is used before the surname of a woman with a title of nobility or honorary title suo jure, or the wife of a lord, a baronet, and a knight, and also before the first name of the daughter of a Duke, Marquess, or Earl. Once used to describe only women of a high social class, race, community, and status; now the term is commonly used to refer to any respectable adult woman, or even any woman. However, from a conservative point of view, this usage is still controversial, just as it is for all adult men to be deemed to be 'gentlemen.'"

I remember the very first time I held a door open for a lady. She turned around and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I said to myself, "Wow! I could really get into this."

Me? Well, I have to admit that I am a bigot. I only like to meet and mix with ladies. I will even call them ladies. In my life, EVERY single person of the opposite gender who attended high school with me is a lady. For them, I would hold a door, tip my hat and even say something nice to them. There are other places where I can find ladies, too. I see them at church or other places. You can easily spot them.

Am I a gentleman? Well, the best way to answer that question is by saying that I don't know. When I was playing judo a few years ago, my sensei taught me that one never awards himself a degree. One has to earn it from someone else. I honestly do not call myself a gentleman. If I can show those qualities, it should be easy for someone to call me a gentleman. It is not an easy title to obtain. I want to learn how to be a gentleman. Fortunately, my two best friends are gentlemen. I want to be much more like them.

According to Wikipedia, "being a gentleman means treating others, especially women, in a respectful manner and not taking advantage or pushing others into doing things he chooses not to do. The exception, of course, is to push one into something he needs to do for his own good, as in a visit to the hospital, or pursuing a dream he has suppressed."

I referenced my high school friends. They were ladies back then. At some point, I had secretly wished that bigamy wasn't a crime because I would have married all of them. Talk about good home cooking. Seriously, they ALWAYS carried themselves like ladies. I should know. There were times when I had an off day or two or twenty. They were nice enough not to get on my case and psychologically beat me down into the ground, but to say a nice word that would pick me up. That is a lady.

So, in conclusion, I sincerely hope that you were not offended. That was not my intention. I just wanted to share this observation with you. I love you all.

In closing, I will just say goodbye, ladies and gentlemen!


About the Creator

Maurice Bernier

I am a diehard New Yorker! I was born in, raised in and love my NYC. My blood bleeds orange & blue for my New York Mets. I hope that you like my work. I am cranking them out as fast as I can. Please enjoy & share with your friends.

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