Obstacles in Life: A Big Opportunity to Grow

I have had a lot of thoughts over the years but I didn't know how to express them or speak out. I have been observing my surroundings and how people are tackling their problems. No one is healing but only shows the mask of being okay to others. They may be making excuses for themselves or they like being called pity that they are facing a lot of difficulties in their life. It seems like no one wants to be genuinely happy. It feels like people are in a race of who is more sad or depressed and who has more problems in life. Instead of finding solutions, they label themselves as incapable or just the way they are, without trying to find meaning in their lives because of a few bad circumstances.

Everyone has problems in life and now it seems that everyone is starting to think that they have more problems than others. Competition has begun as to who has more problems than the others. If someone has problems and he thinks that others don't have any problems, then he starts to show sympathy that you are lucky you don't have problems. It has become a compulsion to have problems and if not, then the person is nothing. Everyone has problems in their life but the one who learns from them and shows resilience are more likely to succeed. Life doesn't demand running. We can give our best but it doesn't mean we will get everything we wanted.

One thing which I have noticed is that people are scared to know themselves and to find faults in them. They want to be perfect and want to look perfect in the eyes of others.

Every first experience is new for everyone. Even if it is a small one. So it is okay to worry about but the thing is, how much you take time to get out of that situation and find a solution or accept it. It is okay to fall but that is not the point where your life lies. Nothing is in our control. One thing that is in our control is to try and put in our efforts enough so that no regret will be there. And if we fail while working so hard, try again. Because there is no other option other than that you give up on your dreams. And that's the worst part where you lose your hopes. Life is about moving on. If you fail, try again. All I know is that Allah knows the efforts and intentions of a person. The thing which we have to learn in this World is resilience. The trials that come to our life is because we can learn to be patient and grow enough that thing doesn't bother us anymore and we can rely on Allah.

One thing which I have realized about people, especially in Pakistan is that they don't want to work on themselves. Most of what I have observed is that they run towards materialistic things and thrive for them instead of finding their identity, without imagining that if they do not identify themselves, they will never find peace or happiness. Especially in our culture, there is no concept of individual understanding, what is right and what is wrong is decided by their elders, because they feel that they are young and cannot make their own decisions. Why do we forget that an individual has a mind and is empowered to make his decisions? Why don't the elders trust the youth that they are wise, and have the power to overcome any obstacles?

Obstacles should be considered as a puzzle. A life of puzzles where one's life depends. And only he has a command and he alone can resolve it. There should be no one else helping him. Others may offer suggestions and advice, but he is the only one who will use his learning and thinking to solve the puzzle.

Here is a very common word 'experience', how it comes? By sorting the puzzles of life calmly, patiently, and using all the senses to understand the problem of the puzzle and have the capacity to solve it. Obviously, there are some other emotions as well that an individual faces while solving the puzzle. Anger, frustration, crying, hopelessness, confusion, and low motivation are the common emotions an individual experiences. It goes same with the life. Life is a puzzle and the problems are those pieces that should be placed in the right position to solve that problem. The command is in the hand of the one who is solving that problem. Failure is part of a puzzle but it doesn’t mean that an individual loses his hopes. It might possible that an individual is not compatible with that particular position, but that doesn’t mean that he is not worth it.

There is a quote that said:

“Rejection has nothing to do with your worth, but it has everything to do with your incompatibility.”

One thing which I have learned from life is that it's okay to stop when you feel low. It's okay to be slower than others in life. It's okay to feel low. It's okay that you are not compatible with something. It's okay that you don't know what to do with life. It's okay to not know your skills and talent at some point. It is totally okay and acceptable until you start to ignore the voice inside you that is trying to get you out of that phase. That's when the struggle starts. It will be very displeasing and haunted, but one question you really need to ask yourself. Am I okay with who I am right now? And what can I do to change myself that is in my hands?

I have seen a quote somewhere that says that

“Sometimes when you’re in a dark place, you think you’ve been buried, but actually you’ve been planted.”

(Zechariah Wallerstein)

If we are in this world, one thing I know for sure is that we are not sitting here idle, but learning and growing all the time. We cannot close our eyes on ourselves. For me, the time I started to know myself and my boundaries, even if I don’t feel any skill in myself, I am still happy and satisfied that at least I know myself and it is a big achievement for me. It frustrates me sometimes when I start to lose control because I don't want to allow someone to take over my mind so I can't think of anything else. I also think that we shouldn't look at others' achievements in a way that we start to feel guilt in ourselves that we are not capable of something.

The flaws in me and what I'm looking for require proper training of the mind, which sometimes leaves you very frustrated, but I had to try to change myself. It gave me all those emotions which a person can find while solving a puzzle. But the end result is very satisfying. What I think is that it is a mind game. If you force your mind to accept something, your body begins to behave in ways you don't even realize. Now if I think, it was great for me when I fell during my struggles because it helped me become a more prepared person. Sometimes falling becomes a new beginning of life.

So you should remind yourself that you are capable of everything no matter how much you are being criticized by others, no matter how much others deceive you, even your loved ones, you need to look at yourself, what your worth is, what you are doing with your life, and how you live it. And if you find that you are spending some time in self-analysis, this is the beginning of your successful life.