Nothing to Lose and Everything to Gain

As a child, I was incredibly optimistic and courageous with my life’s desires. I seldom witnessed this amongst other children but when I did, it was usually attributed to growing up in a two-parent home, having a strong encouraging foundation of parents that were college-educated and well off financially-- rarely a minority child. Every now and then, my family shares memories of when I was about 5 or 6 years old. They’d recollect, saying I would write short stories on printing paper, staple them together and sell books to adults that walked by on the busy street of Wayne Avenue that I lived on at the time. Energetic as ever, I would run up and down the sidewalks, charming and singing to adults for cash, I’d create menus, make sandwiches in the kitchen and attempt to sell them to my family members around the house. Nowadays, this is what people would call a “hustler.”

I remember finding an old, compartmentalized container filled with colorful beads and assortments of string that belonged to my mother. She never used it, it may have been a hobby she considered but never followed through. The clear box would just sit there on a shelf in the back room collecting dust, so I took it upon myself to make jewelry. I slid beads onto the stretchy string and used clasps to seal it with money my grandmother gave me. While doing this, I recognized this was an incredible opportunity for me to make cash. I was about eight years old at the time and there was absolutely no doubt in my mind it wouldn’t work. Thinking back, my mind rarely processed doubt, only opportunities. I had nothing to lose and everything to gain. I took the jewelry to school— necklaces, bracelets, custom earrings, and proceeded to give all my teachers a sales pitch. I showed them the quality of the string, the elasticity, and how it had a very low chance of falling apart. The variety of colors and designs I assembled while having an assortment of sizes to fit any wrist. They were impressed. Of course they were, a young black kid being productive. My teachers ended up buying my creations and I was excited when some of them even put in custom orders. Whether they did it because the product was nice or because they simply admired what I was doing, I wasn’t too sure. To be honest, it didn’t matter, I made sales. This propelled me. At a young age, I identified an opportunity, created a plan, followed through, and was actually able to make money to buy the things I wanted that unfortunately, my family just couldn’t afford. Clothes, new shoes from Payless that mocked Vans, and of course, snacks!

We grew up poor, but that was common in Philadelphia. Most of the families I knew struggled. My cousins, some of my friends. To some extent, as black people, none of us were strangers to the harsh conditions of growing up in an urban community. Our parents were just striving to survive and as children, we had to bear it. Struggling to pay the rent, eviction notices, lights being cut off, no hot water to shower, parental neglect, sleeping on hard floors with no furniture, I even experienced living in shelters. Witnessing poverty daily, drug addictions, physical and mental abuse definitely frustrated me but it didn’t overpower my optimism and drive. Television illustrated families that loved and progressed with one another, nice cars, no smelly public transportation filled with unsafe, unstable people. It showed me beautiful, comfortable, furnished homes. Everyone seemed so happy, there were incredible food choices, places to visit all over the world. I knew there was another side to life and I was determined to get the things I wanted if no one was going to supply them for me.

From the age of seven up until right before I started High School, I would create and sell jewelry, make frozen treats, have bake sales, lemonade stands— all of which Id sell to the people in my neighborhood. When my friends were bored, I would organize activities, book clubs, barbie clubs, and more, all to keep us entertained and out of trouble. It was wonderful to bring my friends together around the neighborhood as well as in school. It released me from my troubles back at home, brought my friends closer, created joy, laughter, happiness, and fulfilled my innate quality and desire as a leader. Being so involved gave me a sense of importance and value that at the time, I didn’t receive at home. Not only that, but I always had a desire to help others. If I was making money selling jewelry, I made sure my friends were too. I would give them some of my bracelets, instruct them to knock door to door where my family just moved, on Knox Street. When my friends made a sale, I’d give them a profit. It went beyond just making cash— the activities I created established bonds, increased productivity, and allowed me to develop not only mine but everyone's creativity.

Unfortunately, it wasn’t uncommon for people who grew up with my circumstances to continue the cycle of poverty, poor mental health, violence, drug abuse, etc. After all, when you grow up surrounded by harsh conditions it’s all you know. You’re trained to believe this is your destiny and this is how life just has to be. In a sense, it was normal. However, there has always been something in my mind that negated all of the conditioning. After graduating High School, I was blessed to always be able to make a way for myself. As always, creating opportunities based on my strong suits. After trying a semester at Community College, I decided it wasn’t for me. College was expensive, and working full time, attending school full time, paying my rent, car note and tuition out of pocket was just too heavy for me to keep up. I didn’t obtain student loans because I knew a few adults who accumulated them and have carried debt whilst holding low-income jobs. Truthfully, in most jobs I’ve had, I’ve worked alongside people with college degrees even though it wasn’t my path of choice. I have always felt college is a wonderful thing, but at that time, I had to reason with myself— I knew I didn’t need it to be successful. My self-taught, hands-on, determined approach and personality allows me to acquire and succeed at any role I desire as long as I truly want it— and no matter what path is chosen, that is the truth I want every black person to understand. There are no problems, only opportunities and our limitations are only of those we place upon ourselves.

Fast forward to adulthood, my position still stands as a leader, entrepreneur, and businesswoman. One whose motto is “if them why not me.” I have hosted community events for kids and families, orchestrated events that supplied underprivileged youth with free hairstyles and hair cuts, planned back-to-school drives, volunteered with many non-profit organizations, helping youth with creating resumes, cover letters, as well as job searching. I've cooked and served food for people who are less fortunate and put together coat drives in the winter.

In 2018, I had the pleasure of going on my first mission trip to Haiti. It was easily one of my most valuable experiences. A group of us signed up with a nonprofit organization, paid for a ticket as well as accommodations to spend our time caring for others who truly deserved it. It started with fundraising. We spent our prior months raising funds and collecting supplies to help feed, supply toiletries, backpacks, clothes, and more to the people of Haiti. During our trip, we visited a few daycares and schools where we painted with children and collectively danced and sang to songs. We stopped by an elderly home, where we played dominoes, gave massages, hair cuts, and manicures to seniors with extreme health conditions. We walked through the village where the residents roamed naked as they barely had clothes. We spent our afternoon behind a small fence where children only would stand outside and wait in a long line to be served one meal a day and a small bag of water. I was humbled by the conditions and amazed at how big their smiles were despite their resources.

I am forever grateful for my experiences. They’ve kept me grounded and compassionate. My greatest joy now is building my own small business. In 2019, I started a cleaning company and learned how to solidify commercial contracts. It has been a pleasure to grow as a black woman and as a business owner, to learn how to delegate more efficiently, manage a team, build better systems and scale. My business has had retail stores, police stations, daycares, grocery stores, and apartment complexes as clients. Despite the hard days, setbacks, and inevitable circumstances that life brings, I've practiced discipline and used self-motivation in order to stay current on information that allows my business to maintain. More importantly, I’m proud of being able to teach others what I know through free workshops and consultation calls. Not only have I have been able to employ people who have a hard time finding jobs, but I have had the pleasure of assisting others with starting their own businesses, which allows them the opportunity to provide for their families.

When Covid came amongst us, it was very discouraging. My business slowed down and I had to quickly find a way to create an opportunity within my field. What I had to remember is that issues in life are unavoidable. It’s what shapes us and as cliche as it sounds, makes us vigorous as well as more prepared for what’s to come. The true beauty in inspiration is what we can learn from it— the moments and individuals that inspire us haven’t always been successful, felt great, or have had ease. The people who inspire us face difficulties too. It is the will and determination to keep going, the fight that doesn’t allow problems to defeat you, and the results you’re able to reach as a result.

As I reflect, I am overjoyed. Even during the dark times in my life, I have always been able to truly inspire myself due to the belief I have, knowing I will get through. The resilience my trauma has instilled in my character. The strength it has built leads me to truly believe— I will overcome and continue to inspire while assisting individuals in my community with the never-ending optimism I possess. My belief that the cards you’re dealt do not have to be the game you continue to play. My desire to break the cycle of the lingering results and effects of systematic racism while spreading the importance of generational wealth, how to develop as a community, nurturing your mental health, and establishing strong family foundations.

Inspiration makes us conscious of possibilities by enabling us to think beyond our habitual encounters and restrictions. Inspiration and influence advances a person from an apathetic mindset to one of innumerable possibilities, and modifies the way we recognize our own capabilities. Conditioning or influence of any kind has a major effect on important life outcomes. Over time, inspiration can be a sense of conditioning, which is why it is important to encompass positivity and optimism. We are all given a hand we do not choose. Yet still, we have a choice, truthfully an obligation, to overcome our obstacles. As a black woman, I start businesses, help others, care, protect and aim to provide for my family. I uplift and stand by my male counterparts who undoubtedly fight through life every single day as well. In times of darkness, when no one else was there, I only had myself to depend on and even until this day, I continue to develop and value that relationship with myself. I remain positive, influential, kind, determined, and helpful towards others. While I'm excited and grateful to have the opportunity to continue to learn, grow, and make an impact in my community, I must say I've always inspired myself.