No-Father Father's Day

Father's Day is just around the corner and I'm sure you've all seen those posts about getting the perfect Father's Day present. But, what about those people who don't have a father to appreciate on Father's Day? Well, That's what I am here to talk about today. Here's to everyone without a father on Father's Day.

Now, I know everyone's situation is different and I can't assume why some people don't have a father. It may be that they lost their father due to unexpected death, have two mothers, or maybe their father is just not around (which is my case). No matter the reason, no one ever talks about what to do on this day if you don't have a father. So, that's what I'm here to do; speak up for all those people who don't know what to do on this day.

For some people, including myself, our fathers are not in our lives because of the choice they made. Not because we didn't want one or don't have one. For people like me, Father's Day is just a cruel reminder of the past and brings up bad memories. It's usually not a good day for us, unless we have somehow been able to just forget the holiday in general.

Then, there are people who have lost their fathers to either old age, illness, or unexpected death. So, for those people, this day is for mourning and trying to remember the good times they had with their fathers. Again, this day is just not good all around for people who don't have a father.

But, no one ever mentions us; we just have to go along with the crowd and pretend the day is just like any other. What I find funny is how some people can become very sensitive depending on the holiday and their own beliefs, but for holidays like this people expect us to just go about our day. How is that fair, though? How come we can't state why we don't want to talk about it or celebrate it?

I remember in elementary school we had to write “What Makes My Father Great?” and of course I raised my hand asking what I should write about since I don't have a father around and he is not “Great.” The teacher looked at me, clearly irritated, and sighed, telling me to just make something up. Why? Why should I have to lie about something to accommodate your lesson? Of course, we had to read these to our parents and I remember the look of sadness on my mother's face when I read mine, knowing none of it was true and I had to lie to make my teacher happy.

Why should I have lied about something in my life that hurt? Just because my teacher told me so, and I was a child, meaning I have to do as I'm told? How is that fair?

If someone doesn't like that you have to sing Christmas songs at school during the holidays, they complain and have it banned. But, if someone has a personal problem with family, we are expected to keep our mouths shut. So as of today, I say no. I'm done being quiet and being made to hold my tongue during this day because “it brings other people down.” Sorry that you have to experience a small fraction of the pain people like me have gone through most our lives. That's life.

So to all my readers, I urge you to pass along the message that we will not be silent about the pain we have been through. Spread love to everyone who has grown up without a father and show them you care about what they have to say.

Happy No-Father Father's Day!