Next A Thief, Then Squeegee and Carlybob

We went to collect rent from the tenant in the Dragon House and noticed a ‘For Sale’ sign on a house nearby.

Our realtor showed us how we could take a mortgage out on the first house to make the down payment on the second one so we put in an offer. To our surprise, it was accepted.

We had another house. This one came with a tenant.

Sandy was a single mom who had lived in the house for several years and she took care of the house as if it was her own.

The first time we collected rent, she invited us in and we had tea in the kitchen while she wrote out a check, in her precise handwriting.

Then her boyfriend moved in.

He was a scrounger, bringing home bits and pieces from his work on construction sites and making improvements. When we collected the rent, he paid with cash pulled out of a baggy in a drawer.

The baggy of cash should have been our clue.

The next month, someone broke into the house while they were at work. The rent money went missing. Sandy had to use her savings to pay us that month.

We changed the locks but it happened again. This was a tricky thief. He always found a way in.

When the rent went missing for the third time in a row, she couldn’t make her payment and we were going to have to give her notice.

Sandy decided to set a trap.

She left the house while her boyfriend was at work, taking the car with her. She parked around the block and doubled back, sneaking into the house through the back gate. Then she hid in the spare room and waited.

When she heard noises in the kitchen, she burst out, swinging a baseball bat. To her surprise, her boyfriend was climbing through the kitchen window. He ended up in the hospital with a broken arm, charged with breaking and entering.

Later, Sandy shared that he had been using crack and needed the money for drugs. We helped her throw him out and changed the locks again. We also reinforced the locks on her windows.

Five months later, she let him move back in.

We were uneasy about her decision but she assured us she had the situation under control and he would never do it again. And he didn’t. She kept the baseball bat handy.

Better the thief you know….

Lesson learned: People are full of surprises.

Next up in The Dragon House

We were so relieved to be rid of the party tenants in the Dragon House we didn’t mind the work to get it cleaned up for the next ones. Having a month off was a welcome break, even though we had no rent to use to cover the mortgage.

It had been an eye-opening experience as well. Being a landlord looked easier on paper than it was in reality and we were learning a lot.

Realizing the initial tenant interview was our chance to eliminate some of our difficulties, we gave ourselves a pep talk before we looked at the next round of applicants.

Part of our problem was a tendency to second guess ourselves. We had established a set of qualifications but we had no idea how to choose between two equally qualified applicants.

We decided to try a ‘first past the post’ technique.

We decided to rent to the people who were FIRST QUALIFIED.

No emotions, no second-guessing.

We put an ad in the paper. One by one I went through our list, checked their references, and when a couple met the requirements — I rented it to them.

They were in their fifties, both grew up in the same town but they weren’t married. He was a retired logger with a steady disability cheque and she was planning to stay at home to take care of them both.

Although they didn’t seem like the ideal tenants, they turned out to be the best ones we had chosen so far. They paid on time — always cash —and they loved the house.

He was handy and could do minor repairs around the place. She was an avid gardener. Soon the dragon sculpture in the backyard was surrounded by beautiful flower beds. They never complained and they told us they wanted to live there forever.

They had nicknames, which was an old tradition in the town. His was Squeegee. Seriously. Hers was Carlybob. That should have been a clue to what was coming.

As time went on we discovered they had some unique habits.

They liked to go out early in the morning and do some truck hunting.

While drinking. And driving their truck.

They would drive out into the country with a bottle of whiskey and shoot pheasants (or rabbits) while hanging out of the truck window. Very early in the morning. Did I mention they were drinking? Charming.

They did have a few fights, which were spectacular.

The neighbor told us stories of her chasing him outside waving a frying pan in her hand. Sometimes she would leave him. Then we were left with a tenant who spent his time lying around on the couch, drinking and trashing the place. She would eventually return and things would go back to normal.

In the end, she left him for good. He didn’t want to stay without her so he gave his notice. That was ok, except for the junk he left behind….

Lesson learned: This was the first time we realized when you rent to a couple, you might not want to keep the one that gets left behind.

This is a fictional series that explores the challenges of being a landlord. It also reveals the idiosyncrasies of various tenants. Many of the scenes are based on true experiences.

The Dragon House, another story in the series

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This story also appears on Medium by Tree Langdon, the author.