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Newly Married And Unhappy (Married For Months And Miserable)

Are you in a marriage where you're saying or thinking I'm newly married and unhappy? You're likely wondering what's going to come of your marriage. Very likely at this point... in your mind... you're probably thinking that this means the end of your marriage is very near. However the truth is that you can very well turn this around if you just do a few things right. This article will show you exactly what to do when if you're married for months and miserable.

By Diego IvanPublished about a year ago 6 min read
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With statistics indicating that half of all marriages end in divorce before the couple reaches their seventh anniversary, the focus is steadily increasing on the most common issues faced by newly married couples, and what they should do to safeguard their relationships.

Here are some of the top marriage problems for newlyweds along with some simple ways of ensuring you and your betrothed don't become just another statistic.

1. Intimacy Issues

A lack of intimacy in a new marriage is one of the greatest contributing factors to the breakdown of a relationship. Besides the adjustment to being married in general, careers, money and the stressors of every day life often combine together to drain the intimacy from a marriage, causing feelings of resentment and anger to build as the couple grows further and further apart. Make time for each other each and every day, even if it's only 15 minutes to listen and really hear your spouse. By doing so, you'll be maintaining the level of trust and communication that's needed for keeping intimacy an important part of your marriage.

2. Financial Problems

One of the top marriage problems for newlyweds is arguing about finances. Although money is undoubtedly an important need for survival, it shouldn't be the focus of any relationship. Whether you have separate or joint accounts, "financial infidelity," where one spouse makes decisions about finances or spends money without consulting the other, should be regarded as any other type of infidelity and, of course, strictly avoided.

3. Unrealistic Expectations

Too many people enter marriage with ridiculous expectations, mistakenly assuming that a piece of paper legalizing their union will somehow make all of their problems disappear, but, the exact opposite is what usually happens. It's often said that women expect far too much from their mate, while men don't know what to expect. Counter this by keeping in mind that only you are responsible for your own happiness, and that it's only possible to change your own behavior and actions.

4. Family Conflicts

While it's true that you and your spouse are indeed a family now, you each have your own respective families that you've been a part of for far longer than you've known each other. Many newlyweds report difficulty adjusting to married life simply due to the fact that they're used to how their own family may have done things and are having trouble coming to an agreeable alternative. Start your own traditions together instead of competing with each other. Compromise by alternating holidays, dividing your time with both families, or even having one big event with both sides together.

5. Blended Families

Blended families, or those with children from previous marriages, tend to have their own unique set of problems for newlyweds. With children involved, either on both sides or only one, their needs and well being must be thought of first, which might seem like a good way to put the new marriage on the back burner. However, involving the children, making them an important part of the marriage by building a new family together is one of the surest ways of strengthening the bond between not only the newlyweds, but the entire family.

While no marriage is exempt from some problems and conflict, what truly matters is how the couple decides to address these issues and react to them. Make it a point to remember exactly how you felt the day you exchanged vows, even during the seemingly darkest of times. By remembering that intense feeling of love and what brought you together in the first place, you'll be able to focus on what's most important, your devotion for each other, not the petty trivialities of life that often get in the way of what really matters most in life.

An Awesome Recipe For a Happy Marriage

Every marriage is unique, and therefore each recipe for a happy marriage will differ slightly from other ones. Just like different people don't the same cake recipe or pizza toppings, it is impossible to give one recipe for each and every marriages.

Some couples like to be together 24/7. Others like to take time out to be with themselves. Some people may constantly say thank you to each other, even the slightest little gesture, while still others may not be able to express such emotion due to fear or being uncomfortable. I am convinced though, that one of the key elements in EVERY flourishing marriage, is the act of forgiveness. Just like a pencil has an eraser on top to rub out blunders, all people make errors. No one is flawless and it is not fair for anyone to hope as much. If you have no idea how to forgive, you will never have happiness in your marriage.

It can be really hard to forgive someone is if they do not truly regret the thing that they have done.

In this article, I will show you a straightforward method you can use to help your partner give up their pride and be sincerely apologetic so that you can work on repairing your marriage to your previous happy state.

1. Before you start discussing the matter with your partner, work out in your mind what it is that really irks you about your husband or wife's actions. Do you realize what emotions you are experiencing? For instance, if your hubby forgot your anniversary, is it the fact that you did not get any flowers to display that is troubling you, or that you feel lonely?

2. Once you have determined what it is that is bothering you, tell your husband or wife as straight as possible. Make comments such as "You said you would phone me when you weren't' busy and you didn't." or "I was so to supper every day after work this week but it wasn't quite ready when I came home."

3. After you have said that and they say anything, to on to explain how this made you feel by saying something like "...and I couldn't help feeling unappreciated, that you really don't appreciate being married to me, or you worry more about our children's needs than you do about helping me out." Explain how it made you feel insignificant or like a second class citizen, or even worthless, depending on the extent of the issue. It is Extremely important to begin by saying, "and I couldn't help to think or feel" something which indicates that it is your decryption of what happened and not a solid fact, just your assessment.

4. After you have fully explained how you feel, let them describe what happened and why they missed your important date, forgot to pick up your mother at the airport, or whatever happened. Listen with full concentration to what they have to say. If it sounds like they are truly regretful, then accept their apology and get over it. If they sound like they are just looking to get out of the uneasy situation, then don't fall for their apology but attempt to discuss it with them and understand where they are coming from as not to dwell on things and build a grudge.

To forgive is one of the most crucial components for having a happy marriage. It is much less difficult to forgive your spouse if he or she apologizes. If you explain to them that you are not certain that they definitely meant for you to feel the way that you did and listen to their take of why they did and what they did, keeping an open mind, you will find it much easier for you to forgive them and this is an crucial step to keep your marriage a happy one.

It's all up to you! If you don't take this action to save your marriage, then who will?

To learn how to save your marriage alone, then check out this plan of actions that is 100% guaranteed. Over 60,000 couples were able to save their marriages by doing the very same series of steps that you will be doing. If they saved their marriages, then you can too! Click Here to see how it's done… All my best to you and your spouse!

There are specific techniques that will show you exactly what to do and what to say to get your spouse back in your arms- Especially if you are the only one trying… Visit Save The Marriage to find out more.

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