New Year, New Me

"HASHTAG NYNM!!"

People were yelling all around me.

I smiled and posted for another #groupie as we all counted down until the new year. The clock at the bar was counting down, and even the bartenders were getting into it. "NEW YEAR, NEW ME!"

The giant ass clock counted down the seconds.

"3!" - "2!" - "1!"

"SMILES!"

"Happy New Years!!"

"WOO!!"

I posed my friends for another #groupie and then excused myself to the bathroom. Passed by a couple more friends on the way there and gave them big kisses and New Years hugs. "YAYYYY!!!" we all screamed excitedly. Made it past the last row of chairs. Luckily, everyone was celebrating and no one had to pee yet. Finally, safe inside the security of the stall, I buried my face in my hands and started sobbing.

To say it had been a rough year was an understatement. My ex of five years was out there in the bar with his girlfriend. He and I had broken up six months ago. Today was their one-year anniversary. I'd lost my father the next month, and been fired from my job not too long after for "not performing up to standard." Gee, I can't imagine why. If only my "friends" knew how much tonight's fesitives were putting me out, they probably would have offered to buy drinks, or maybe wouldn't even have invited me. Maybe that would have been better, but #NYNM and #groupie. Have to keep up appearances.

I figured I had about fifteen more minutes that I'd have to maintain, and then I could politely excuse myself. I'd found work at a temp agency currently, so I could tell them I "tooootttally" forgot I have to work early. "Get your shit together Meg," I told myself. I dotted tears from under my eyes, so as not to smear my mascara or eyeliner, threw on some powder and foundation, and headed out.

The crowd was still going crazy. I weaved my way back to my group, we took a few more #groupies, and then I looked at my phone and dramatically made my excuse and exit. More hugs and kisses and I was out the door.

I called a Lyft, and due to it being New Year's Eve, only 'shared' rides were available. "Fuck," I thought. "Of course. I was trying to fucking get away from people. Maybe it won't be so bad." The ride came, I hopped in, and away we went.

The next stop was a bar about two streets down. A twinkie in 4-inch heels stumbled over to the car. "YOU KENNETH?!' she squealed. "Yes, for Rebecca?" the driver asked. Twinkie giggled and squealed and made girlie noises I could never understand. "Girls, let's go!" she squealed, turning back around. Two other twinkies start tottering over. Kennth cursed under his breath and turned to me. "Fucking New Year's Eve. Would you feel more comfortable sitting up front so I can cram their drunk asses back there?" "Please," I said gratefully.

The twinkies were still falling all over themselves to get into the car. Kenneth barks for them to put on their seat belts, which I had to lean over and assist with. Finally, all safely (figuratively speaking) in the car, he starts off in my and their mutual direction, which from I can tell is either Jeff's or Dave's or "whoever is going to be there, which is, like, 'everyone'". I don't know. I tuned out.

All the sudden Twinkie 1 yelled, "WE FORGOT BEER!" and Twinkie 2 squeals, "Kenneth, there's a beer store two blocks up!" I'm wondering about their mutual drunkeness and ability to know exactly where to buy beer and Kenneth is yelling that there's no stops on a shared ride and Twinkie 3 is half-asleep already until she heard beer, and Twinkie 1 yells "I'll pay you extra if you STOP HERE KENNETH!!" At this point, I remember I'm low on whiskey at the house, and figure if we stop, I can grab some too, so I slip Kenneth a $5 and ask him to stop anyway. He's grumbling, as I would be too, but hey, you signed up for this damn job. I don't yell at the customers that call into my call center. Often.

We pull over and the Twinkies fall out of the car, and then fall against the glass window of the beer/liquor store. "HALLLOOO!" Twinkie 2 yells. Twinkie 3 is still trying to figure out which way is up. Twinkie 1 is banging on the glass window. I try the door and it's locked. "I think they're closed. Isn't cut off time midnight?" Twinkie 1 keeps yelling "Open up! We have money! Don't you want our money?!" I'm about to leave them there when a guy who appears to be in his late 30's comes to the door. He points tiredly to the 'orders of operation' sign. "We close at midnight!" I step back, so he doesn't actually think I'm with The Twinkies. He points around the side. "We have an after-hours bar, if you guys want a drink. That's open until 1." The Twinkies squeal and moan and explain that they can't go to Brad's party without beer, and he just shrugs. I'm suddenly interested in being anywhere these chicks are not. They are still whining amongst themselves about where they'll get beer for Sean's party (I lost interest in the players a long time ago) so I gesture to the guy to meet me at the drive thru window. "You really have a bar?"

He chuckled. "No, I said that to get rid of them. But you look like you could use a drink, and I still have inventory to do. If you're not with them, and wanna give me a hand, you're welcome to partake in the stash I have set aside." I gave him what I hoped was my most grateful, gracious look. "Yes. Let me get rid of the Lyft driver. You gonna rape me if I come in?" He smiled the tired smile of a retail worker ready to go home. "Yes. You caught me. Exactly what I was planning on doing." I grinned, my first big smile in god-knows-how long, and cancelled my destination for the Lyft. Once the Twinkies had conferred on where to go get beer for Toby's party, they skittered back to the car to annoy the driver some more. He gave me a look of complete terror, I waved him off with a half-smug smile, and gestured to the cashier. "Where to?"

He smiled again, tiredly, and unlocks the front door. Suddenly I'm questioning if what I'm doing is wise. I have had a *few* whiskeys, and just as many beers, and I'm alone with a strange guy in a locked store at midnight. And he has alcohol. Then a part of me says "yes, BUT he has alcohol." Sensing my hesitation, he stops. "Hold on. My name is Lukas. I figured you wanted to get rid of those dimwits. I made a split second suggestion, and if you really don't feel comfortable, I'll call you a Lyft right now. On my dime. But hand-to-god, I've been here open-to-close dealing with all these drunk chicks and frat boys, so legit, no strings, if you want to give me a hand, I swear I have a stash set aside just for days like these." I smiled wryly. "No, I really don't have anywhere to be at the moment, just home to my big burly MMA wrestler-fighter/boxer boyfriend/fiance who will track my GPS if I'm not home within ten minutes, so we better hurry." He gave me a long up-and-down, then broke out into a huge grin. "Deal, kid." He laughed, then shut the door behind me.

"So, Lukas, huh? Well, hey, I'm Meg. That sucks that you have to work on New Years Eve." Lukas was filing the cash register receipts. "Comes with the territory when all your employees are like 12 years old."

"Well, if it makes you feel any better, people in general suck, and they are especially sucky tonight."

Lukas shrugged absently, finished filing the register receipts, and grabbed a clipboard. "I couldn't agree more. So, let's get some of this shit counted. OH. What's your poison?"

Shuffling my feet, I asked, "What do you have?"

He grinned sheepishly and gestured around the store.

My eyes widened. "You're fucking with me?"

He shook his head.

"Wait, you're stealing from the store?"

"Can't steal what's yours."

I'm relatively certain my jaw dropped to the floor. "Wait, are you the manager?"

He laughed. "Did those dimwits even know the name of 'beer store'?"

I thought for a second. "L's Liquor... oh! For Lukas' Liquor. I thought it was just cute alliteration."

"Nope. When my folks passed, I got a decent inheritance, and figured 'why not?' I graduated with a master's in business management, and happened to know the right people at the right time. It wasn't easy, but after the first year things started turning a profit." He handed me a drink I hadn't even noticed he'd been making. I idly wondered if he'd spiked it, then realized I didn't really care. He sensed my hesitation, and brought his hand back. "Presumptuous of me. Habit to play bartender. I took you for a whiskey girl." I reached for it and took a sip. Crown Royal with a hint of coke. "Holy shit, that's smooth." He shrugged. "So you just heard my life story. What about you? Where did you end up tonight?"

I winced. Before I'd left, my ex and his girlfriend had been making out heavily in front of all of our friends. It was all I could do to hold my head up high as I kissed and hugged everyone goodbye.

"Whoa, sorry, clearly a sensitive subject."

I sighed and started checking off the boxes as I counted bottles. "Sorry, I wasn't feeling very festive. It's been a rough year and the bar that I was at, the one I'm a regular at, my ex was there. It was his and my spot. Apparently now it's his and his girlfriend's spot as well."

"That's rough. Were y'all together long?"

I gave a wry laugh. "5 years. We broke up 6 months ago, when he left me for one of the other girls in our friend group. Apparently, they'd been sneaking around since New Years of last year."

"Damn," he said. "That's rough. And the fallout as far as the friend group?"

I shrugged. "That was the easiest part, actually. His 'charasmatic personality' ensured he got the pick of the litter. Luckily I still had a few people that believed my side, and those are the people I wanted around me anyway."

"Well that's fair. It's not the size of the tribe, but the loyalty."

I laughed, a real, true, genuine laugh. "That's what I hear. Anyway, enough about my sob story. Where are you from?"

We continued making small talk, occasionally checking in as far as the status of the inventory. I'd been in retail most of my working life, so this was a breeze for me. We also stopped every now and then to make a drink or two. Within about 20 minutes, we'd knocked out the whole store. He breathed an exhausted sigh of relief, took the clipboard from my hands and set both of them on the counter. "Well, I guess that's that."

"I suppose it is."

"Well then. Thanks for your help, Meg. I'll call you a Lyft."

I shuffled my feet. "Hey Lukas... I actually had fun tonight. Thanks for the entertainment."

He'd been looking down at his phone, but I could see the corners of his lips turn up. "Really? Counting inventory with some loser on New Year's Eve?"

"Ha! You mean with the owner of a liquor store who made me smile for the first time in six months?"

He looked up and we made eye contact. We'd been standing only a few inches apart, but for the first time, I realized how close we were. I cleared my throat. "So. That Lyft. What's the status sir."

He laughed. "Driver's only a few minutes out once I summon it. Hey, can I ask you a question?"

"You just did."

"Wow..." he said, laughing. "Okay, here's another question. You want to go out for a beer sometime?"

I don't know what came over me. Impulsively, I breached the threshold between us and kissed him on the cheek. He grabbed ahold of my face with both hands and pulled me close. We kissed for a minute or two, and then backed away at the same time, awkwardly. I laughed nervously. "Sorry about that. I don't know--"

He put his hand on my shoulder. "Shh. I have Sunday off. Are you free?" I nodded. "Where do you want to go?"

As I got into the Lyft, his number saved in my phone and a date set for Sunday, I thought "hashtag, new year, new me."