Negative Relationships

Be self-full it allows you to focus more on your inner self.

- Carlene Charles

I’m affected! Yes, I am, by relationships that consist of depleting me of myself. I never receive phone calls or messages from people to see if I’m managing within myself. I can count on my fingers the number of times I get asked this. I've however lost count on the therapeutic phone calls I give out for free. I don’t want to come across cold or unsupportive towards those that are around me, but how much do you take on before it starts to influence your mental wellbeing.

I've become uneasy when I pick up calls because I know they may put me in a darker place. I get exposed to situations I never thought was happening as I don’t experience them myself. I now recognise when a phone call will be a long-winded emotional tangle. I can't imagine saying to my friend, I'm sorry, but I can't continue with this call if she is sobbing, can I? For years I didn’t notice that I was the friend that always listened but was never listened to. I know that I don't put my personal matters on a platter, but, occasionally it's nice for someone to check in. I am human, furthermore I'm going through life’s ups and downs. The difference I find is, I value people’s energy by not making my problem theirs.

I am easily disturbed, emotionally by everything and anyone. My conception is I need to support demanding situations in small doses. Self-fullness, which isn't a word but we're going to use it from now on. Self-fullness means to focus and love yourself to the maximum. Individuals in all walks of life are only going to provide positive energy if it comes from within. Its strenuous being supportive to dead end situations, I'm sure you've been through this before. You’re pondering, aren't you! Yes, you have, don’t fool yourself, we all have a friend or family member that is wearing us out.

I will, continuously say, try and be helpful but don’t carry their heavy load. It inhales toxicity and exhales toxicity. If we repetitively surround ourselves with negativity, it's merely a matter of time before we mildly put it onto other’s. The cycle of sharing negative energy isn't right or healthy.

I am aware that it is crucial to have relationships with other’s but engaging in unhealthy relationships, is a recipe for disaster. Often, we let the wrong individuals enter our lives and who may not be fruitful. Once you recognise that an individual’s energy is shifting for the worst, it's best to guard yourself.

A Few Warning Signs of Negative Relationships:

1. The relationship is one sided.

2. They refuse to listen or understand your needs.

3. Their energy is always negative, dark and draining.

4. The trust level is zero.

5. Communication is not effective. If they do communicate, it's only when they need you.

6. You cannot relate with this individual.

7. They make you feel insecure and contribute to self-doubt.

If you’re experiencing any of the warning signs written above, do what’s best for you. Initially start by informing the individual but if this doesn’t work, maybe it’s best to just step away. After all, keeping your energy steady is what matters. Once you begin to practice this, you’ll notice your life change.

I am speaking through experience. I have gone through 29 chapters of my life and I can say the 29th chapter has allowed me to recognise negativity is wrong. Sadly, negativity comes in all shapes and forms, it could be your friends and family. The mere fact that family members can bring the pain and drama is shocking, but it happens.

If you're reading this and you want to make that change, go ahead.

Always remember to put yourself first and be self-full.