My Pregnancy and Birth Experience

On September 30th 2021 at 7:25 p.m. my whole life changed. This is my brutally honest, not always sunshine-and-rainbows story of my pregnancy and delivery. Currently, my 6 week old is sleeping next to me in her bedside crib, but she is starting to wake up...

Finding out; February 2021

I hadn't gotten my period in a month, but I had just chalked that up to stress. I was nauseous every day, but I had gotten my wisdom tooth taken out last month, and against the advice of my oral surgeon, I had continued to smoke my cigarettes. Double uh-oh. My mom and my live-in boyfriend both had their suspicions so I decided to take a test, mostly to get my mom off my back. As it turns out, she was right.

Oh shit.

Confirming; March 2021

Off to the doctor we went to get an ultrasound. Lucky for me my boyfriend stopped smoking with me right away, which made it easier for me to quit. I cried at the ultrasound appointment. There she was, my little peanut. 9 weeks along. I knew everything was about to change.

Planning and preparing; March-September 2021

Of course my boyfriend and my mom knew already, but as for everyone else, we decided to wait until I was a little further along to break the news. Also, my boyfriend had not met my dad yet, oops. That was a fun one, but we did wait until the second time they met to tell him and my step-mother.

It was so much fun telling my friends and family, but not so much my employer. I ended up getting a better job offer in my 2nd trimester(at a daycare, score!) so it all worked out great. Me and my boyfriend got our own little place, half of a house with only one set of neighbors upstairs, with 2 daughters of their own, already offering to babysit.

Now of course I knew things wouldn't always be perfect, but I feel like everything happened all at once. We discovered spiders and then mice in our little basement unit. We went back and forth on how to deal with it. Bug bombs? That was a big NO from me, but that didn't stop us from arguing about it. Spider spray? Fine, lets try it. Well, it works about 1/2 the time. We deep cleaned the house and got rid of cobwebs to try to keep them away. Mouse traps and closing off a mystery door that was left open to an unfinished room behind the fridge(Sounds like the plot to a horror movie, But no people living in there. Just mice.) and the critters seemed to go away, or at least mind their own business.

Then we realized the washer and dryer combo machine we bought did not work at all. Here's a tip, do not buy a ventless dryer, (Our unit doesn't have a hole in the wall for a vent.) they work, if you don't mind doing 1/5 the amount of laundry and drying it for 3 days in a row. Luckily, the thing does okay on washing and drying baby clothes. So my 6 week old baby has her own washer/dryer while mom and dad are back to the laundry mat.

Finally, my dad tells me we have to talk. Now, my dad and me have only had a good relationship for the last 3 and a half years so I was so excited that he would get to be a grandpa and how close he lived. Despite the fact that the two of them had zero contact whatsoever, it was convenient for me that my dad and mom lived less than 5 minutes apart from each other. Well, Fuck me. My dad decided to move 2 hours up north. "Its on the way up to your boyfriends moms house! You can come see us on your way up when you go to visit her." He said. Well, no, its not. His moms house is 3 hours up north, yes. But your new house, dad, is an hour and a half detour from it. that makes a 4.5 hour trip, one way. But of course, I was happy for him because I knew how much it meant to him. I didn't tell him how mad I was or how much I cried. They were set to move in 3 days after my due date.

As for my pregnancy, all was going well. Happy, healthy, big baby. Too big, allegedly. After my 26 week check up my doctor tells me that they are worried she might get stuck coming out, causing her shoulder to dislocate, or that I may just need a c-section. So we schedule my induction. We are all set to go in on Tuesday September 28th at 7 pm. (Guess what dad, she's coming sooner than we thought! Whats that? You guys are moving sooner too? Cool.)

I called the birthing unit on Monday night and... "Sorry, we don't have you on the schedule. How about Wednesday?" I was mad. I was sad. I was relieved. But mostly mad. Oh well, one more day in my own bed.

Wednesday comes, I call the birth center. I'm all set to come in today, right? Yes, awesome. Me and my boyfriend go out to one last nice meal and then head to the hospital, nervous and excited. It's more real than ever now, we are finally going to meet our little girl.

Time to meet my baby! September 29th-30th

The process of induction was explained to me a little bit, but I was not ready for how painful the foley balloon was. For anyone unfamiliar, as I was, I'll save you a google search. They insert a balloon into your vagina and fill it with water to put pressure on your uterus so it knows its time to start dilating. I am not a doctor so I'm sure theres a better way to explain it, but I can only explain it as I know it.

The pain felt like period cramps, but worse. around 11 pm the pain was so intense that I was just about to accept the epidural early, despite the fact that I was only 2 cm dilated and would be bed ridden until after giving birth, and then my nurses tell me they can try taking some of the water out to relieve the pain. At this point I had been crying in pain for a while now so I was eager to accept that offer, and mildly annoyed they hadn't offered to do so sooner. Almost instantly after some water was taken out, the pain subsided and I was able to fall asleep. Just after midnight I woke up to go to the bathroom and noticed a weird sensation. My nurse confirmed that my water had broken. The foley balloon was removed and I once again went to sleep.

When I woke up in the morning I was having contractions, I was given a light breakfast and told to inform my nurses when the contractions got too strong for me to handle. I decided to take the epidural while the contractions were still bearable so that I wouldn't be in too much pain while I was getting it in.

Getting an epidural fucking sucks. I've been scared of epidurals since I've known what they were. My mother had to have hers re-inserted 4 times when she gave birth to me because she has scoliosis. The doctor assured me this was safe, then handed me a long form of risks and things I needed to know about the procedure, requiring my initials by each individual line. No big deal right? They put my boyfriend in front of me and he held my hands, he looked nervous too. I started shaking and crying before it began. I can't really tell you everything that happened because after it was over my brain kind of locked away the memory. I do however remember the doctor saying that he was hitting bone and needed to re-insert it. The post epidural nap was the best sleep I'd gotten in a while, and would be the best sleep I'd get for, well, who knows how long because I haven't slept better yet.

When I woke up my doctors told me it was time to start pushing. With the epidural in I could still feel the contractions but they didn't hurt. Pushing felt like I was trying to poop and it was stuck. The doctors said I was pushing really well, but after an hour and a half, they said something was wrong. My baby was coming down when I pushed, but then going right back up when I stopped pushing. They said I could keep trying to push but the safest option at this point was a c-section. I bawled. I was so mad. I felt like I failed, I was terrified of the surgery. (I heard once that when you get a c-section they take out all your organs that are in the way and put them on the table next to you. I still don't know if thats true.) In the end I agreed to have the c-section. They gave me a spinal block, which is a stronger dose of medication in my epidural so that I would be numb from the waist down. Off to the O.R. we went.

There were so many people in that room. It was so bright and somehow felt even more sterile than the regular birthing room. I was mostly numb at this point, but thank god I wasn't fully numb because I noticed something. My fucking leg was falling off the operating table. They hadn't started the surgery yet, but none of the 10-15 doctors, nurses or surgeons noticed it until I told them.

Okay, leg back on table, one arm strapped to the side, ("So you don't try to help us, haha." Not the time for jokes, just restrain me and move on.) the other hand being held by my also terrified looking boyfriend. Here we go. I couldn't feel them make the incision but I could feel when they started to take her out. I can't remember all of that part either, I just remember screaming. Then I looked up and I see two tiny little legs, all bloody and slimy, before they take her to get cleaned off. Then I was dry heaving.

They didn't even let me stop heaving before they put my little bundle next to my face on the other side, but as soon as they did and I turned to look at her, my whole world stopped. She was so tiny, so perfect. and then she licked my face. I laughed, my boyfriend laughed. The first thing her dad ever called her was beautiful, the first thing I ever called her was "A little lizard baby" according to my boyfriend. I don't remember saying it but I believe it, sorry baby. But she was beautiful.

It's been 6 weeks and I can honestly say its been the most challenging but rewarding time of my life. My little girl is doing wonderful. As for me, I'm taking it day by day. But with my amazing boyfriend by my side helping me raise this wonderful little girl, I feel pretty blessed.