My mix tapes

As a teen I felt like every day of high school was emotional suicide. It was hard to be popular and have that popularity hang by the thread holding up, the microscope I was existing under. I felt like every decision that I made was going to affect the reputation that was following my like a shadow every where I went. I used to listen to music and it would calm me. Of course I would have to wait until the song I wanted to listen would play on the radio, just so I would be able to record it on my cassette tape. I had three to be specific. One was a motivational tape full of toe tappers. “Girls just wanna have fun,” and “Let’s here it for the boy,“. The second was a masterpiece of heartache. Whenever, Tammy Kufchack stole my boyfriend, because, it was a regular thing. I would listen to a song by the band, Poison “Every rose has its thorn” and I just knew, “ every light had its dawn.” I would listen to my music and devour my favorite pint of Rocky Road ice cream, nursing the broken heart I had just received over some boy I cant even remember the name of right now. Last but not least the third mix tape was a head banging tribute to every hair band boy that decorated the walls of my bedroom. “Ratt, Poison,and Motley Crue.” This was the perfect combination of remorse, revenge and just plain angst. So here is to the perfect tapes that I had to rewind with my #2 pencil. Who would have thought those songs can still 40 years later bring back fond memories of, “what’s his name."

Honestly the need for music as therapy was so real. It seemed like the world was coming to an end on a weekly basis. So and so did not ask me to the dance. Life is over as I know it I have a pimple right in the middle of my forehead. I can laugh about these things now. Not then, i am shocked at the fact,we were able to study through all this mire and turmoil. I used to listen to music to make the next day seem bareable. If I was angry I listened to heavy metal. I would drown out the rest of the world. Put my head phones on and just feel. Sounds weird but, if I allowed myself to listen and just feel the anger. I just wasn’t angry any longer. Music was a big part of my life. I may have even dedicated a song to Ole what’s his name anyway. John, Jack, no was it a Jason. I can’t remember.

Music surrounded our lives, all of us. It took areal effort to hear the songs you wanted to listen to. You may have waited all night for them to play that song on the radio. Or you would have had to save because the local music store didn’t sell 45’s (us older folks understand 45’s). Then you were left with the whole album, instead of the one song you wanted. However, that was kind of cool too. It gave us all something to relate to each other about. Supporting artists and bands was different. We all waited together overnight in the rain to get tickets for “TheWho” it was their last concert they were going to be sold out of tickets, so we waited. We told dirty jokes, and trashed our teachers and boys that never asked us for a date. We were so excited to pay $17.50 for a band, to go hang out some more with your friends and listen to music with lyrics that we felt mpainted the emotions and pain and confusion we were experiencing, each one of us. These artists and these bands were important to us. Now we have the ability to download any song, purchase any ticket to any event with just a swipe of the magic card. The one thing I remember most about the music was not the concerts, or the artists, it was talking about it. A new song, a new band member, all gossip, I know. Butit kept all of us from focusing on the tragedy that is puberty. The need for music was evident in all of our lives. Music moved all of us. Music moved me.

Music clearly moved me.