My Life and Rescue From A Sociopath Narcissist

Having a relationship with a childhood “friend” sounds like a fairytale right? Well, maybe for some it is, but for me it was a nightmare.

Growing up with Ryan (fake name real person) I knew he could be a grade A douchbag, but in the next breath he could be sweet/funny. Looking back I see the red flags, but back then he was just a misunderstood bad boy. I was thirteen he was fourteen, and his family if walking through the woods lived diagonally behind mine. We lived in the country where all kids could do is ride 4-wheelers, fish, and experiment what our teenage hormones wanted to experiment. We were both known for being crazy, getting in trouble, and having the balls to do things most others wouldn’t dare. Which is what attracted Ryan to me in the first place. As time marched on we drifted apart he moved to Arizona for a few years and I got engaged with the father of two of my children. Upon his return is when I began hellish relationship with a sociopath narcissist.

My fiancé and I had been split up for roughly four months when I ran into Ryan at the local pantry. Hilariously when I saw him I did this whole moving my head around thinking in my head, “please don’t see me” over and over again. Nonetheless, as luck would have it he saw me and hollered, “Christy, hey girl what are you up to these days?” I told him about my split he told me he just got back to town then he asked for my number before leaving with the friend he arrived with. Fast forward roughly nine months we’re living together in a small apartment and we’re one big happy family. NOT!! Ryan has a drug problem which does not help with his paranoia problem which doesn’t help the sociopathic narcissist hidden inside. I don’t meet socionarcissist for another few years. In the beginning he was just a paranoid drug addict constantly accusing me of cheating. I know what your thinking, why stay in that? That’s simple, I’m an overweight single mom with no self esteem no self worth, and didn’t think I deserved any better. Being constantly told I was fat, but with a pretty face, along with being told how stupid I was daily didn’t help matters any. This stayed consistent for four years. Only difference was we adding two more kids to the mix.

When our son was about one Ryan gets himself hooked on meth, and that’s when I meet socionarssist. It started off him being more paranoid in his belief of my nonexistent cheating. However, it wasn’t til the people in the wall starting talking to him did it get ultra scary. They told Ryan I was cheating with the men in the wall they even convinced him I had AIDS. This is when the beatings started and the I’m going to kill you’s. He even put a box cutter to my throat in front of my two oldest and said, “I’m going to kill your mom while your at school today.” He would ship all the kids off to grandparents before imprisoning me and raping me repeatedly. I stopped saying no I stopped saying or being anything, instead I became an empty shell going through the daily motions of everyday life. He tied me up and shot meth in my veins, he set the house on fire, and almost wrecked the car on purpose so we’d die together. Why’d I stay? I didn’t I left multiple times, but became the battered wife/girlfriend cliché’ of always going back. Being in an abusive relationship it’s true it messes with your head convinces you that you’ve got to be with that person even if you don’t want to. Naturally, everything was my fault. My nonexistent cheating was the reason I was beaten and raped. During one such occurrence I noticed his enjoyment of his torture festivities; therefore, I looked up symptoms of a psychopath, sociopath, and narcissist, which is how I know he’s an socionarcissist. I did get some reprieves since he kept getting himself thrown in jail, and each jail visit I would get more of the true me back. This happened for another four years, but in 2016 I was in a horrible accident that forced me and the kids to move back in with my mom. This accident broke my body but saved my life, because I have no doubt I’d be dead right now had I stayed in that toxic relationship.

If your reading this and are in this type of relationship get out and get help now it’ll behard but you can do it. I’m a bipolar 2, chronically depressed, anxious, and C-PTSD head case, but I’m also a survivor that never has to live that life ever again. It’s been another four years (something with me and the number four) I’m still healing, but atleast I can say I’m back to living and so can you.