My Husband Always Walks Away When We Argue (How To Argue Fairly With Your Spouse)

Learning how to argue fairly can be very beneficial to the longevity of your relationship. Because arguments are often fueled by intense emotions it is wise to adhere to specific guidelines when arguing so you can avoid anything that will cause irreparable damage in the relationship. Here are some guidelines on how to argue fairly.

Physical Aggression - it is human nature to become more aggressive when we are involved in an argument. This can be through body language or actual physical contact with another. Physical aggression should never be part of a productive argument. It accomplishes nothing except establishing fear and mistrust between two people. Walk away when you have to to keep this under control. It is always better to take a break than to attack someone physically.

Verbal Aggression - Like physical aggression verbal attacks are not useful in an argument. Verbal attacks only make the situation deteriorate and will take the focus off of the main point of the argument. The purpose of the argument is to reach a resolution about the problem at hand. If you start with personal insults you are creating a whole new stash of things you have to apologize for. It's just not worth it in the end.

Take responsibility for your actions and feelings - Use phrases like "this is how I feel", "I did this because...", "it makes me angry because...". Speaking in this manner demonstrates that you are responsible for your feelings and actions. You are not placing the blame on your partner.

Allow honesty - don't be afraid of being honest with the person you are arguing with. You should not try to hide your true feelings or what problem is really bothering you. If you are not honest with your feelings you will not be able to resolve the true issues.

Don't beat around the bush - if you want a quick resolution to the problem at hand then be direct. Get to the point, the current point. Don't dredge up past problems or events. Stay focused. This will assure that both of you stay on target and reach a mutual agreement.

Take a break from the argument - arguments are often fueled by heated emotions and it is easy to lose control of the situation. When you feel this is happening the best thing you can do is to stop and take a break. Walk away for a while. Chances are you haven't resolved the situation yet and you can always return to it. Your arguing will be much more productive when you approach it with a level, cool head.

Make forgiveness an option - Sooner or later an argument has to end whether it has been resolved or not. At that point you must decide is you are willing to forgive your partner for whatever was done. This forgiveness may be temporary if you haven't resolved the problem and know the discussion is only on hold for now. Remember - offering forgiveness does not mean you lose. This is not a contest. You are trying to develop a strong relationship and offering forgiveness helps build relationships.

Keep the argument positive - This means to focus on the problems at hand, stay focused and allow the argument to progress. Don't stifle the argument by rehashing the same points over and over. Be willing to concede when you are able to; consider the other person's point of view; allow yourself and your partner to express true feelings.

Avoid destructive arguing - stay away from anything during an argument that seems destructive. Examples of this are physical and verbal attacks, trying to always get the last word in, not listening to your partner or letting them express themselves, talking over them, throwing things, bringing up past or irrelevant events, etc.

Don't argue about the same thing over and over - If you and your partner cannot reach a resolution about a problem then continually rehashing the same problem over and over will not help matters. It will usually only create greater tension between the two of you. You may get to the point where you will have to agree to disagree. If the matter is very serious and could mean the end of the relationship you may want to consider professional help.

Study these 10 points and try to stick to them. No one will ever argue in a perfect manner but is you try to keep these ground rules on how to argue fairly in mind your arguing will be much more productive and perhaps beneficial for your relationship.

Tips to Improve Your Relationship With Your Spouse

Learning how to make your marriage better is something many people want. Over time a couple can find themselves drifting apart. It's easy to see how this happens. When the day-to-day stresses of raising a family and tending to career needs enter the picture, the marriage can suffer. If you don't nurture the relationship you have with your spouse, it will wither and die. This is exactly what happens to many marriages that eventually end in divorce. That doesn't have to be the outcome for your and your partner. You two can work together to rebuild your relationship so it's stronger and more fulfilling than ever.

When you're searching for tips on how to make your marriage better, communication is going to pop up a lot. Couples who are open and share what they're feeling have a stronger connection to one another. If you and your partner just don't put the effort in to listen and learn from one another, that's a recipe for marriage disaster. Make time to just talk to each other. Do this in a quiet spot away from distractions and approach it with mutual respect. Agree to let each other share without interruption or fear of a verbal attack. If you keep the lines of communication wide open, whenever a problem surfaces, it can be dealt with very quickly.

It's very easy to fall into the common pattern of pushing your partner and their needs to the backburner when you've got so many other things to tend to. You do need to make a strong effort to change this if you feel it's been happening in your relationship. Working in tandem as parents is obvious very important for the healthy upbringing of your children, but you need to do more. You need to also work together as a couple to keep the marriage alive. Spend the time you do have together doing fun things that draw you closer. That can be anything from cooking dinner together to taking a walk with the dog while holding hands. Making your spouse a priority and then savoring each and every moment you have with them is incredibly important for the health of your relationship.

Spoiling your partner is something you should absolutely be doing if you want to strengthen your marriage. Remember back to your dating days when you two went out of your way to do things just to make the other person smile. That doesn't have to stop just because you're married now. Think about what your partner really enjoys and then indulge them. Whether it's a special home cooked meal, tickets to a sporting event or ballet or just a weekend away together alone. If your partner feels you putting in extra effort to make them happier, they're going to want to do the same for you. There's absolutely no reason why a couple who has been married for a few or many years can't feel the same way they did the day they took their vows.

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