My Friend Phil

A friend of mine passed away yesterday, his name was Phillip Windsor. He was a small, balding, glasses-too-big-for-his-face wearing, jovial, loving 80 year old man with Downs Syndrome whom I used to take care of in a care home.

Phil didn’t care who you were, where you came from, or what you looked like. No matter what he would always smile at you and give you a big hug. He cared about you in his own way, and we all cared for him, as we did for his roommates. He would thank you for helping him get ready for the day or for bed, and loved to dance with you. He wasn’t very mobile his last few years and had to sit a lot, due to his hip issues. Getting old isn’t fun sometimes, but he made the best of what he had.

This man loved to colour, every single day I would come in and he would be sitting in his comfy chair, with a big smile on his face. Staring into his colouring book, and watching old Westerns on his TV. Wagon Train, The Rifleman, all the golden oldies.

I would come in and start my shift by saying hi to everyone and chatting with his roommates. Then I would move over to where he sat to say hi to him and ask how he was doing. Sometimes I would sit beside him and watch his shows while he coloured before I started working.

One day, when I had some downtime on shift, I decided to sit and colour in his colouring book with him. I hadn’t really coloured much since I was younger and found that I kind of enjoyed it. He complimented my colouring and we laughed together for a while watching Gilligan's Island.

It couldn’t have been more than 5 to 10 minutes I had that day, but those 5 or 10 minutes sitting there with him were so pure. It was just him and I sailing away through a sea of red and blue marker strokes, the world around us fading away into the blissful powder blue sky I was filling in.

Phil was a being of pure and simple life. Though he was born different he reminded me what it was to be a human being. Sometimes I wonder if he was an Angel in disguise. I don’t believe in Abrahamic based religions, but this man, he was something else.

I sat down with him more and more when I had time to spare to colour with him and he helped me travel back to a time when I lived life. I was here, I was having fun, colouring in colouring books, playing with my brothers and our friends. Going to school, watching Saturday morning cartoons.

Phil just took me back to a time when life was simpler. When I didn’t have to worry about bills, jobs, or people dying. When I didn’t have to worry about pandemic’s, war, or politics. When I could just live my life and the only thing I had to worry about was finishing my homework and getting to school on time.

I don’t mind dealing with these things nowadays, of course, we as adults know these things are part of our everyday life and we do our best to live the life we want around them. But when I sat down and coloured beside Phil, all that stuff could just be somewhere else for a while and I could take a break from it all.

One day my wife and I were walking through a store of some sort and I spotted an adult colouring book filled with animals and plants. I thought for a second, smiled, and decided to buy it. My wife looked at me for a second, and I said, “What the heck, right?” I picked up a pack of markers and took them home. I went to town on that book for hours, and while I sat there colouring beside my wife, life seemed to just take a break from my mind. So I did it more and more. My wife bought me a book of positive phrases for Children’s Day and a nice set of coloured pencils and I was hooked.

I still colour today, and I enjoy that escape from time to time. Colouring helps ease the mind and takes me back to those days when I was younger. For me, it has been a huge stress reliever and has helped me better my quality of life. I have my friend Phil to thank for that, I have him to thank for so much more.

He, as with all the people I’ve worked with over my 10 years as a care worker, has given me something priceless in my life and helped me grow as a person. Every one of those people who I have helped over the years has and I thank them all for it. Those that have passed and those that still live their lives today.

So here's a letter for you, wherever you are right now. Thank you, Phil. You were one of a kind buddy. I hope you are at peace and in a better place now. I hope you don’t suffer anymore and I’m happy to have known you. Thank you for everything you’ve given me and it was a pleasure to be there for you when you needed me.

Love, Nick.