My First Prompt

I've been thinking recently, what if I release some of my diary/journal entries in blog form? I've always thought, no, I wouldn't dare. No one would relate to me, people would judge me, and maybe I would even judge myself. But then. Then, I came across this book that a friend of a friend recommended to me. He actually gave it to me with a message written on the inside. It felt so special so I had to read it and little did I know what would come of it. It is called Go Ask Alice.

I was inspired by Go Ask Alice, a book about a teenage girl who develops a drug addiction at age 15 and runs away from home on a journey of self-destructive escapism. (Maybe I'll do a book review!) The way Alice writes in such juicy detail in her diary makes me want to do the same when I journal. Though young when writing in her journal, she experiences an all-embracing lifestyle that makes you emotional and empathetic. It really is an easy read and I'm about half way through. I relate to it in a sense of addressing social pressures, drugs, sex, etc. I relate to Alice. I am motivated by her and her story. And I am here to tell my story.

I believe that people will resonate with what I have to say. Or even challenge what is written. But, I want people to consider and relate to my pieces. I want a platform to express what I have been through. What I go through daily. And what I aspire to be. I am just simply grateful to have found vocal media to see what journey lies ahead of me with this whole blogging thang.

I have been through a lot in this life, good and bad. I recently lost someone on July 17, 2023. His name was Robert. I see him through the number 17, through butterflies, and through myself. I want to dedicate this blog to him as I want to devote time to honor him. It was all so sudden when it happened, the only way for me to cope really is to write. So, in honor of my first blog post, I am going to write a little, special something for you at the end Robert. I hope you enjoy.

I have always been reserved in a sense where I do not want to burden people with my problems. So, I always am reading and listening to other peoples' tale and learning from that. Yet, I want to learn from myself now. I am going to create, laugh, cry, beam, bounce, and fade in this sphere. And why not share it?

This platform will consist of ways to achieve spiritually, mentally, physically, and of course financially. I want to talk about the benefits and negatives of certain drugs, what rehab was like, what books and movies I am into, write poems, create recipes and workout routines, talk about mental health complexities, college, abortion, sex, friends and family, solitude, weight gain, death, drug dependency. So, like everything and anything. I don't know if anyone will read this but it's more for me. Peace and love always. I learned that from a professor in college who is a well known musicologist. Her class had a great impact on my college experience and she always said that. So I will be saying that.

Love and Peace:)

To Robert Wood,

“Everything you are and everything you were destined to be remains in our hearts and minds”.

Hey. I think about you everyday, Robert. You were a force to be reckoned with, a spiritual guide, a cute 26 year old creative being, a kind person. The time we spent together was dreamlike. You were so funny and so intimate I loved being with you. Now, you are gone. It has been a little over half a year and my heart still aches for you. I still for some reason think about life with you and me. I think about what you would have succeeded, placing smiles on people’s faces and creating laughter in dark homes. You are safe, I hope you know that. I did everything I could Robert, but I am sorry I never went on that walk with you. I do wonder though. I wonder about your cremated ashes, where your soul went, how you spend your days in heaven. Oh, I do hope that you are somewhere and not nowhere. I will dedicate posts for you and I will unleash the power my past writings on here for you.

A poem for you that I just made:

You know, you grow through what you go through

I know, you knew

An attraction like no other grew

From the moment I saw you

You meet people on the other side, with clouds and warm candles lit

Death, they call it

Robert, you belong here, now I am unlit

Everything else is nonsensical bullshit

You were never meant to go that soon

Meaningless substances took over you

Tears stroll down so many faces, feeling blue

I wholeheartedly miss you