My Ex Is Angry That I Don't Want To Be Friends (Why Does My Ex Want To Be Friends So Badly)

We've all come to the end of what was once an exciting and loving relationship at some point in our lives. Relationships end for a multitude of reasons including infidelity, excessive arguing, or just plain old loss of interest. However, you might find yourself in the awkward position where your soon to be ex boyfriend is suggesting that you still remain friends as they seemingly rip your beating heart out.

If he just wants to be friends, it might seem like an okay idea to do so at first glance. The reason for this is because you're still wanting to hang onto him and keep him in your life any way that you can. Unfortunately, being your ex boyfriend's friend doesn't often work out quite like you might hope.

Let me explain. Here are a few reasons why being friends with your ex just won't work, at least not until you're completely over them:

1. You'll Place Yourself On The Sidelines

If you boyfriend has said that he just wants to be friends, especially without some kind of formal breakup in the first place, then it is quite likely that he is considering his options at this point. Your boyfriend may have lost interest in you for whatever reason, and now he feels like he can possibly do better. Or worse, he may have already found himself interested in someone new.

In either case, by keeping you as a friend, he is simply trying to "test the waters" while still keeping you as a fall back of sorts. In other words, if it doesn't work out for him with this new relationship or potential love interest, he can take comfort in knowing that he can have you back whenever he wants. Essentially, you become his second option or alternative. Would you really want to settle for being his second choice?

2. You'll Rob Yourself Of Your Own Potential For Happiness

When a relationship ends, especially if it wasn't exactly by choice, we often find ourselves desperately holding on. When your boyfriend says he just wants to be friends, the prospect will be enticing, to say the least. You'll feel compelled to do almost anything to keep that desperate hold on what you once had. Of course, will having your ex boyfriend in your life "just as a friend" really make you happy? Let's take a closer look at what you "get" out of the deal, shall we?

While he is enjoying the freedom to explore his other options, you're left feeling half empty. You'll spend your time dwelling in what once was, constantly waiting with your life on hold for him to come back. How can you ever be happy waiting for a second (or third, etc.) chance that you aren't even sure will ever come?

3. You'll Set Yourself Up For More Pain

Let's say, for whatever reason, you've convinced yourself that being friends with your ex boyfriend is the best option for you in order to have any chance of getting back together with him in the future. For now, you've alleviated a small amount of the initial pain you felt from the breakup. You're feeling slightly more confident that you can somehow win him back sooner or later, but will that feeling last?

Think about it this way for a minute. You and your ex boyfriend might get along fine as friends for awhile provided he isn't seeing anyone else. However, sooner or later, he will likely find someone, if he hasn't already, and move on. When that happens, how will it affect you? Your friend, the ex boyfriend, will eventually become distant and may even end all contact with you because his efforts and time will be devoted to the new love in his life. Meanwhile, you'll find yourself heartbroken all over again.

If your boyfriend has said that he just wants to be friends, it is up to you to carefully consider whether or not doing so is in your best interest. Ask yourself, "what would I gain from keeping him as a friend? Would being his friend really help me to fix our failed relationship?" These questions are important, because there are times in life where the most important thing for you to look out for is yourself.

3 Simple Mistakes That Will Make You Lose Your Ex Forever!

So your ex broke up with you and you want them back. Most people when trying to win back their lost love commit some simple mistakes. These simple mistakes are quite easy to make and are silly but in truth they are deadly. These mistakes will push your ex away from you and you might lose your ex forever. It isn't important to know these mistakes to avoid committing them. So read every word of this article carefully and make sure you don't commit the mistakes...

Deadly Mistake #1 - Worrying About the Breakup or Your Ex

This is what everyone does. As soon as the breakup happens, they begin to worry about the breakup and waste time worrying about their ex. Don't waste time worrying. Life is too short. Get over it. They may be the best one for you but still you must not spend time worrying.

Shift your focus to the present. Get the trash out of your mind and be in the now. If you think about the past or the future, you are burning energy on the uncontrollable. Burning energy on the uncontrollable is also known as suffering. You can win back your ex. Just get over it and shift your focus to what you are doing.

Solutions:

· Read an interesting book

· Revive an old hobby or passion

· Play a sport

· Join the gym

· Go out with friends

Deadly Mistake #2 - Message Terrorism

Most people immediately after a breakup bombard their ex partners with hundreds of calls and text messages. If you do this you will appear needy. Neediness is a killer of attraction in every relationship. So stop bombarding your ex with phone calls and text messages. If you do it, your ex is likely to not return your calls or even worse block your number. Your ex will get away as far as possible from you if you do this.

Give them the space they need.

Solutions:

· Write a letter telling your ex that the breakup was the best thing for both of you (Your ex will become more receptive once you send them this)

Deadly Mistake #3 - Being Codependent

Codependency is the main cause of failure. If your relationship is interdependent there will be no problems. Your relationship must have most likely ended due to a codependent relationship.

Both of you have your own personal boundary. When you are in a relationship, the boundaries bond and pool resources. There must be mutual sharing of resources to experience an interdependent relationship. In other words both of you must have a Win-Win behavioral pattern.

Unfortunately due to loss of passion and intimacy, relationships fall into a subtle Win-Lose behavioral pattern. One person sucks in all the resources from the other person's boundary and leaves them with nothing. This causes stress to the other person. The stress leads them to psychological atrophy and depression if it doesn't stop. So make sure your relationship is interdependent.

YES... it is still quite possible to win your ex back regardless of whether they're with someone else or not. Of course, you have to know how to do it properly.

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