My Ex Blocked Me: Why And What To Do?

Although we all want to show that we can handle it as adults and rational people, our emotions have a lot to say.

This thing of still being friends is not so simple. Even though we want to hide it, it is very hard for that person who has occupied such an important role in our lives, to suddenly stop doing it, just as it is "getting rid" of her, and even more so with the reach of social networks.

That's why sometimes the best remedy is to block that person. If you find yourself in this situation and want to understand it better, keep reading.

Social networks during a breakup

The emergence of social networks and apps dedicated to instant messaging, such as Facebook, Whatsapp, Instagram or Twitter, has facilitated many improvements on interpersonal communication, but has also increased surveillance and behavior control through the Internet.

The use of social networks during a break-up is conditioned by the "social network ideology", defined as a set of beliefs about communication technologies, with which users explain the perceived structure and meaning of the networks.

That is, beliefs about what they are meant to serve, how they should be used, etc. These ideologies influence how people react in different social networks.

Another factor related to the behavior people adopt after a breakup is the type of attachment they tend to establish in their relationships.

Avoidant attachment is associated with minimizing contact with the ex-partner, while ambivalent or anxious attachment is associated with greater concern for her, higher levels of stress, and more frequent attempts to return to the relationship.

This type of attachment is also associated with undesirable post-breakup persecution behavior, ranging from persistent attempts to contact the ex-partner to attempts to return to the relationship, even if she is not interested.

My ex has deleted my number

People are curious beings, that's why "stalking" or gossiping to some degree to the ex-partner right after a romantic breakup is understandable. Practically everyone does it.

In addition, social networks and messaging applications make it very easy for ex-partners to stay in touch, even if they are not communicating directly, staying "friends" on social networks often means that you see or receive images or information about your ex-partner's life.

And this can be a problem when trying to get over the relationship.

Apart from curiosity, uncertainty plays a key role, which grows when you end a relationship that provided you with security.

In that moment we are more vulnerable and emotional, so it is complicated to stay rational and to know how to discern which behaviors are healthier and which are more harmful to us.

It has been seen that young people who watch their partners more on the internet experience more stress in the breakup, and that, in turn, the stress predicts the behavior of watching or controlling the ex-partner immediately after the breakup, especially for those who had not initiated it.

Thus, technology is a double-edged sword, since on the one hand it can alleviate individual curiosity in the short term, but on the other hand it simultaneously influences the development of unhealthy behaviors through the repeated review of what the ex-couple does.

'In the face of these behaviors, sometimes the best option is to cut contact for good: to erase the number, eliminate or block that person who previously was seen as someone permanent in one's life.

'But there may be more reasons for an ex to block you. We see them in the next section.

Why my ex has blocked me ?

Removing or blocking the ex-couple is one of the most popular mechanisms for dealing with the stress or pain that the breakup causes.

There can be several reasons for doing so, let's see some:

• To better deal with pain.

It is possible that, even if your ex doesn't look for it on purpose, he or she will still see your stories, publications, statements, posts, photos, etc., something that really doesn't help you deal with the breakup or get over it. That's why, once blocked, all your updates stop appearing to her and she can ease the suffering.

• So you don't torture yourself.

It could be that not only does it unintentionally see what you hang up, but, as we have explained in the previous section, it follows you and actively looks for you to see what you do and how you continue with your life. This is a behavior that hinders greatly the ability to recover, so it is best to prevent yourself from seeing all those posts blocking you.

• Because you feel watched.

In one study it was found that the vast majority of participants admitted that after a breakup they stalked and even closely monitored all of their ex-partner's activity on social networks. The person may feel watched and overwhelmed, and decide to block you to end this situation.

• To put more distance between you 2.

Blocking you may be the only way they have found to move forward and put some necessary distance between you, especially if one partner is tempted to talk to the other to get back together or to continue the harmful dynamics that led you to break up.

Is it better to eliminate your ex from WhatsApp?

Determining whether or not it is better to remove your ex from WhatsApp or other social networks depends on how you handle the breakup, and how you use WhatsApp and networks in relation to your ex.

Research so far suggests that maintaining contact with the ex may inhibit the individual's ability to overcome the breakup.

Therefore, what is generally recommended is to cut off contact, although it will depend on each case.

It is especially advisable to remove your ex from WhatsApp and similar in case a series of behaviors occur:

• Re-reading and over-analyzing old messages or posts.

These messages can bring back painful memories and lead us to become obsessed with the past or try to figure out what went wrong in the relationship. It is best to eliminate these messages and eliminate contact with the ex.

• Use ordinary friends as an excuse to stay friends with your ex.

Even if it means torturing yourself by following the ex's updates.

• Write or call your ex every time you are overcome by a sea of nostalgia and grief.

Having such easy and quick access to that person does not help those waves of sadness stop coming. In the following article you will find information on what to do if you miss your ex.

• Follow everything your partner does on social networks.

What upload, who gives a "like" and who gives it to, etc., because, as we mentioned before, it is a counterproductive behavior that makes it difficult for us to overcome the breakup.

The most important thing is to be honest with yourself and make the decision that is really the healthiest, even if it means eliminating or blocking our ex.

Stopping being friends with your ex does not mean weakness or immaturity.

There is nothing wrong with distancing yourself from someone who is no longer good for you and, at the end of the day, you have to do what helps you get better.