My Confession To My Possibly Stray Husband

My not-so-dear husband,

I’ve got you as my husband through my hooks,

I knew deeply what you want as a mature man,

You want children that bear your surname,

You need a complete family to showcase to your professional peers,

I can give all this to you in exchange for my lifetime financial security.

Half of your fortune is mine,

Not too bad a deal for a mature woman like me,

Someone who is a plain Jane like me,

Someone that lived in a very small circle of friends,

You came just on time when I was desperately looking for someone,

Luckily I could still manage to produce two children just on time.

I may not have the dazzling beauty to attract your attention,

But I have a little worldly wisdom to make it happen for me,

I know the way to the heart of your mother,

Whom you adore and listen to,

You’ve always been an obedient son.

I’m a firm believer and a devotee of my faith,

But I’m willing to renounce its doctrines just this one time,

To be your wife so that I don’t need to worry financially,

I’m willing to make a trade-off with the devil,

Just this one time.

I’ll use the rest of my life cleansing my sin,

As this is the once and a lifetime chance I have,

To turn my singlehood around.

As expected I got you hooked,

I did the thing I was not supposed to do before the wedding night,

I didn’t want a wedding ceremony as a way of cleansing my sin,

I think this sin was worth it as I got my first child,

What a miracle! This may be the approval from God for my renounced act.

I was a doting mother, a good wife but maybe not a good lover,

You and I often don’t see things eye to eye,

Our perspective of life is vastly different,

We share almost nothing in common,

This includes the way we want to raise the children,

We often quarrel over this issue,

You and I are just two different people from a different world,

The only thing we have in common is to keep this family together.

* * *

I know that I was never your type of woman,

Neither physically nor intellectually,

Now I’ve fulfilled my duty by giving you two offspring,

My duty is done.

Your high-flying post brought you to live overseas for the past two decades,

We’ve been living separately since then,

My sister asked me, “don’t you worry that he may have another woman?”

I quipped and said, “not at all.”

Because I know that you can no longer perform,

We have been having sexless marriage for the past two decades,

I’m actually glad that you can no longer perform,

This saves me the trouble to force myself on doing this,

Although I’m not sure if it’s my unattractive body,

Or it’s because part of your aging,

Alas, it doesn’t matter.

I hope you are not having another woman over the strait,

A woman who can make you able to perform miraculously,

Even if you do honestly I don’t really care,

Your fortune is in my hands, my finances are secured.

My children will be my best bargaining chip,

All my sufferings of childbearing and the pain of labor are worth it.

They are your soft spot and your most precious jewel,

Which can tie you down next to me without me needing a detective's eyes,

Even though you are far from my sight over the years.

Now the only thing I care about is cleansing my previous sin,

To ensure I’ll be going to heaven in my afterlife,

I’ve done and completed my duty on earth here,

And I have nothing to worry about financially,

This is my best bet ever in my whole life.

* Originally published at https ://medium.com

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