My Autism Journey

Hello. My name is Sunny Dolen. I want to tell you about my journey as an Autistic person. I am 24 years old and still live with my parents. I was born to Mike and Marty Donnellan on June 23rd, 1996. I was diagnosed with Autism at the age of three and was homeschooled for most of my childhood.

What is Autism? Autism is a diagnosis which encompasses a wide range of traits and different behaviors, with some people on the spectrum requiring more support than others. The needs can range from high to low needs and some people can have sensory issues as well as language processing disabilities. Autism can make learning harder, so some students need accommodations. Some Autistic people are non-speaking, meaning that they can not communicate with their voices, so they need communication devices. Since Autism is so diverse, there are many different things about Autism that need to be researched more carefully, because no one on the spectrum is the same.

Autistic people often face a lot of discrimination, being denied jobs and certain opportunities, as well as not having adequate access to healthcare or proper education. To understand these issues about disabilities and discrimination in full, please read this story. I am about to tell you all my story about what it is like to live with Autism and tell you about the kinds of discrimination we face.

I went to a Montisory school for preschool and was always in my own world, not paying any attention to the other children. I was always acting different from all the other children and suffered Echolalia, a part of Autism where one consistently repeats what others say or what they heard cartoon characters say from movies and television shows. For example, I would keep saying, “Hello, Uncle Donald!” to express excitement.

Before I was homeschooled, I remember a terrible teacher I had when I went to pre-K who will not be named for privacy reasons. He really got under my skin so badly that I was angry with him. I could not speak proper sentences until I was four years old. I told my mother about the awful teacher and told her that I wanted to melt him with water, (which is a reference from The Wizard of Oz), shoot him to the moon on a rocket, stab him with a sword, and bake him in a pan of brownies. My mother knew right then that I was going to be fine and that she need not worry about me.

While I was homeschooled, I struggled with reading and math and was taught to read using phonics, where one would sound out the words, but that didn’t really help. Every morning, my mother and I would start with our daily Bible reading and then move on to reading and math. We also studied history and discussed all of the rulers and events that took place and had other discussions about science. I learned a lot from these daily discussions with my parents about social studies, sciences, and other things. I even learned about great philosophers like Plato and Socrates at the age of eight.

While I was homeschooled, I had a childhood friend named Sarah and we would spend a lot of time together. She was one of the few children I was friends with, as I was very isolated and didn’t have very good social skills. I was very quiet around other children and was also unusual. I would play in my room for hours with all of my toys with very involved and complicated plots where all the Barbie dolls and other toys were different characters, often arguing with each other and complaining about different things. I also liked to ride my scooter in the house with my friend, Sarah. Not in the house! Surely, my parents would have killed us, but they didn’t. I also remember playing with my pet hamster at the age of nine, sliding the poor thing across the floor with soapy water. To this day, that hamster has thanked me a lot for not killing her. I can’t imagine how she felt!

While I was homeschooled, I went to the Summit Academy, which met every Thursday. Unbeknownst to my mother, I had signed up for a World Literature class at the age of 13. We were all assigned to read The Odyssey by Homer. When I previously couldn’t read, suddenly it clicked in my brain and the light came on. I could read on my own! I read The Odyssey, Les Miserable, Night, and other novels. I believe that when the pressure of learning how to read was taken off and the content was of interest to me, I could read through some miracle. One of my favorite writers was William Shakespeare, the great poet who wrote Hamlet and Macbeth. He was a great playwright who I admired, because his plays dealt with issues such as corruption, jealousy, and envy. I also loved Victor Hugo’s Les Miserables, because that discussed issues of poverty, revolution, war, and other important issues of which we all have to discuss.

At the age of 15, I decided that I had to go to public school. The only high school that would accept me despite my Autism was Georgia Cyber Academy, an online public school which is run by K-12. I learned about Khan Academy which helped me pass Algebra, but I did better in Geometry because I could look at the shapes and easily calculate the measurements. I was a visual learner, so Geometry was easier for me in the 10th grade than 9th grade Algebra. I passed Algebra with a C and Geometry with an A. I also passed all of my Spanish classes as well as all of my science classes.

When I was in college at the age of 19, I was also dating a man I met at a panel for young adults on the Autism spectrum. I also joined an Autism advocacy group called, Autism Self- Advocacy Network, or ASAN. I went to all the monthly meetings and learned a lot about advocacy on both local and state levels, as well as speaking publicly about Autism. I was on three panels while I was dating my first boyfriend. I was on two panels about Autism before I started my own public speaking career as an advocate.

In the meantime, while we were dating, I was studying Early Childhood Care and Education to become a teacher, not understanding how difficult it would be. I first started studying at Gwinnett Technical College, feeling excited about all the opportunities I would have once I earned my degree. But then I started taking 1112 and 1113 and realized how frustrating it was, seeing as how I got low grades on certain assignments. I quickly became disenfranchised by that course of study that I decided to drop out and take the rest of my core curriculum and look for a job.

Meanwhile, my first boyfriend later broke up with me, because we were not a good match and would not be able to get married, let alone have children. Having children to me was very important, so important to me that we had argued about it consistently. We later agreed that the relationship was not going to work and tried to be friends.

While I was still looking for a job and had gotten hooked up with the Georgia Vocational Rehabilitation Agency, GVRA, I was dating my second boyfriend who only dated me for five months and lost interest in me. He broke up with me via text.

In July, 2019, I was with the GVRA discussing the plans for the future. It had been a year before I finally got a job working retail. Before I found a job, I had attended paid job training for a few months, which felt like an eternity. I did many job searches and interviews, a struggle which only made me stronger. Working retail is fine for someone on the Autism spectrum, but many people on the spectrum get jobs with the simplest tasks and as few hours a week the company will give them on minimum wage. I have been blessed to have the opportunity to request more hours on an app, where I can pick up extra shifts for those who are unavailable. My manager told me that for now, I have to improve my skills in certain areas so I can get more hours but still work part time. She will revisit the idea of me getting more hours, once I get better at the tasks she has already given me and can do them faster. That gives me hope that I can still have a real part time job and can impress my supervisor. But I will still advocate for those who are in worse situations than myself, who don’t have the support that I do. Some have supervisors who will not let them know what to improve or who may not treat them very kindly. I have, on the other hand, been very blessed to be in such good care at my job and to be given a chance to do better.

While I have been blessed to have a patient and understanding employer, I acknowledge that we live in a society where disabilities are not very well understood and some people with disabilities really struggle a lot more than I do.

I want to help more disabled people to find jobs where they will be taken seriously and given the same opportunities as everyone else, with or without reasonable accommodations. I also want to provide hope to people with autism and other disabilities, as well as the parents of said individuals, to show that they are capable and that there is still hope. We are currently trying to get caught up with disabled people’s rights and understanding the discrimination against the community.

As for the educational system, many public schools and private schools would not accept me into their programs, due to my disability, which is why I was homeschooled. Many mainstream classrooms do not accommodate students on the spectrum, even if requested by parents or caregivers in an IEP, because some teachers will not follow the learning plans. Many schools that offer special education classes and support help some students with special needs, but not so much for Autistic students, because they needs very from student to student. Many schools lack the resources and staff for children on the spectrum, leading to more behavioral issues and failing grades.

If our society would take the time to look at what is happening, then people with Autism and other disabilities would be treated equally. If we would take the time to understand what people with disabilities are really going through, we could cure the cancer of discrimination and decry the myths about disabilities.

Finally, I will continue to advocate for the disabled community until the day I die! I will continue to speak to legislators, policy makers, and government officials who treat us unfairly. I will also educate many people about what Autism really is, because it is a very misunderstood diagnosis and needs more awareness and acceptance. But without understanding and awareness, how will there be more acceptance? Without acceptance, how will we get a real education, a real job, and live a real life?

I want to provide hope to the parents and caregivers of children on the Autism spectrum and help others through collaboration to gather resources for teachers, as well as help legislators and lawmakers to get a better understanding of Autism and other disabilities.

Thank you so much for taking the time to read this in full. I will write to you again soon!