Mini-Guide For Gay Men Over 40 Who Have Just Come Out The Closet

Many gay men are at this moment in a possible unhappy marriage to a woman. Some of these guys suffer for not telling the truth but are pressured by society to keep things the same way. It’s not easy to say to the family, to the wife and kids, that you’re gay unless you were a mini version of Barbra Streisand as a kid, so your family would know about it.

In the last 45 years of my gay life, I’ve seen that it becomes harder to keep hiding who they are, and at some point, these guys come out. I was 33 in my outing, and I did it when I feel ready. No regrets.

Don’t get discouraged. The after outing is so exciting. It’s time to make new friends, to known new places. It’s time to begin a new life, less scared. I’ve prepared this Mini-Guide, putting together some useful tips learned since my outing.

1. Dating

You can find gay guys everywhere. In a Pandemic, dating apps are essential. I strongly recommend not going to bars, clubs, or gay saunas during the Pandemic, but I can tell you little about it.

Gay Bars

There is a gay bar almost everywhere you go on Earth, and they used to be useful to known new guys, talk, and maybe find people in a similar situation to yours. Right now, it’s not an option cause of the Pandemic.

Gay Sauna

Being a great ex-gay sauna goer, I don’t recommend you visit one of them. If you go, try to stay sober while inside. But places like it are closed for the Pandemic.

Dating apps

The fun is now on these apps, where you can get from hookups to dates. I’ve also made friends through them. The most relevant are the GROWLr (Bears), Scruff, Grinder, and Tinder. Each person has owned different experiences with these apps.

2. Beard

There is something magical about it. As soon as you have some hair face, you’ll probably see heads turning on you. The beards are appreciated in the gay community.

3. No lies, please.

You don’t want a relationship full of lies, neither anyone else. Lying is up to you, I know, but allowed yourself a life with no secrets, or at least fewer secrets. Someone will be disappointed at some time.

4. Gay community

For the disappointment of some of you, we’re not a club with weekly meetings or parties. We’re part of the gay community when we vote for LGBTQ+. We’re a gay community when gay parades worldwide bring our message for equality. A great way to get more involved is looking for the local LGBTQ+ Chamber of Commerce. (National LGBT Chamber of Commerce)

5. Stonewall Inn

In 1969, police raided the Stonewall, a gay bar in Greenwich Village in New York, to oppress the gay, lesbian and transgender community as they did before. But on that night, members of the LGBTQ+ community decided to fight back as we are still fighting these days.

6. Allow yourself to be you.

Relax and be yourself without fear. Allow yourself to fall in love with a great guy or have sex under the stars or do whatever you want to do (under the laws, please). Be happy.