Me and my boyfriend.

I miss my boyfriend. I hate spending any time away from him, but that is life my dude must get his hours in doing security and get his efficiency or one-bedroom hopefully I have not been misled in any way by my boyfriend. I hope and pray I never catch him with another female because when I do that is when I will lose any faith I try to have in humanity. Honestly, when my boyfriend and I do reside together I think eventually I will catch him in the act in my bed with another female. When it happens it will be so over I will be abstinent for the remainder of what life I do have left. I will not spill a drop of my sweet love nectar on a vibrator I mean for what. I have trust issues with men and when I catch my dude fucking with another woman I will never trust another man, not one.

I am super fed up with my situation. If I cannot get housing I will not survive to see sixty, my life is so fucked, if my roommate does not leave this house I reside in currently in a will for me I am pretty much screwed. There is no such thing as me getting an apartment anywhere. I am so screwed that no matter how good I am to myself or others it never pays off. On paper, I have been a success story but I am just a felon others show me no love for me at all and I am straight up decent honest, and hurting for success and no matter what I see my southern bell sweet character but all landlords and employers see is a woman with two first degree felonies they do not see the pain and anguish and struggle and my productivity in society I am just a felon to all others that I need help from I am judged horribly and considered to be some cotton picking rotten monster and I am way better people than I get credit for. Why do most females try to shit on me, are they that jealous? I do not have any female friends at all because no matter what I do not have time for these jealous shitty nasty hoes always attempting to crap on me for no exact reason whatsoever. If anyone should be full of bitterness and hatred for all these judgemental haters it definitely ought to be me. Yet I am one of the kindest women out here, yet it feels like I am the last of a dying breed, it feels like when I expire this world will be fucked badly without decent people like myself. It is a cold world and who cares if I live or die, however that obviously is not enough but yet at the end of the day it is never enough. I am the only one who gives a fuck about me. What a horrible cruel stupid world. My retarded mother had the nerve to give birth to a poor kid like myself therefore I can go through hell and I know for a fact I am too decent as a human being to be allowed by anyone to go through the pain and suffering I am going through yet I feel like I am the only one who gives a damn but it is not enough. They say no man is alone on one Island, sounds asshole backward to me. My care for myself and humanity obviously means nothing to anybody. I am a hopeless fuck failing at everything. Why bother to be good when I fail and get labeled a dangerous felon regardless. I get no respect just because I have a nasty fucked up charge times two that I should have got a warning for, I barely do smoke damage and get charged with arson aggravated and attempted for no structural damage just barely smoke damage and then many try to pretend why do I not trust any police of any sort anywhere at any time. I have no faith left in the law because they are obviously evil and crooked as fuck! I have it the worst and no one gives a damn but me. sad cold stupid world, why am I here? Such a waste of fresh air. I do not want to fail suffer and die. If I were capable I would be a smoking hot babe at a century year old and remain healthy and high maintenance.