Lying flat is "pseudo-happiness" I'm not entitled to lie flat at all

For various reasons, my career as a pharmaceutical representative came to an end. With only a pharmacist's title and nothing else, my second employment became a problem.

Several pharmaceutical companies and pharmacy chains offered me a job, but as I was used to being free, I was afraid that I would not be able to cope with the management of a modern company, so I politely declined their offer. I have been in the pharmaceutical sales business since 1990. At that time, I was always the top salesman in my unit, so I was always proud of myself and never knew what it was like to take time off work. I never knew what it was like to take a leave of absence. I was independent when I went on a business trip, and when I returned from the trip, once the contract and money orders were handed over, nothing happened.

If you have something to do and have to leave the local area, just say you are on a business trip; as long as you are in the local area, no matter what you do, you don't even have to say hello, you are busy with what you are doing, there is no such thing as going to work or leaving work; the office also likes to go or not to go, it is entirely according to your mood. Therefore, for me, it seems that I do not know what it is like to ask for leave from the leadership.

If I don't travel, my usual life is to read books, play cards, practice calligraphy, play football, drink, chat, fall in love and wander around. There were times when I played cards and chess in the office, and the leaders turned a blind eye and pretended not to see. It was obvious that I couldn't do the formal work of a modern company.

So, I decided to lie flat. I lay flat for nearly five years, every day is to read a book, write a few articles, play football, chess, tea, chatting, and occasionally playing cards. In this way, the monthly income dropped to about 3,000; to subsidize the family, my wife found a job and went to work.

Although my income was very low, I stopped driving, did not invite guests and gifts, reduced my interpersonal relationships, reduced my smoking to a minimum, slowly gave up alcohol, and stopped participating in the lottery, so 3,000 yuan was enough for daily expenses. My daughter graduated from university and joined the workforce, joining a large state-owned enterprise. I feel that my lay flat life, although there is no enjoyment to speak of, also is the swing check over leisure, free and easy to be very comfortable.

However, suddenly feel often dizzy and swollen, and occasionally some nausea, one day the corneas are also congested with blood and red. I thought it was because of high blood pressure, so I bought a blood pressure monitor, and when I took a test, the result was a high pressure of 150 and a low pressure of 100, typical of primary hypertension. Not wanting to take medication to lower my blood pressure prematurely, I changed my habits to regulate it.

One night, I suddenly had a tightening in my head, like a tight band, and for a moment I seemed unable to move, so I sat on the sofa and rested for more than 10 minutes before the symptoms disappeared. When I took my blood pressure, it was surprisingly high at 160 and low at 110. I had to start taking medication to intervene.

After about six months on the medication, my blood pressure dropped, but my physical symptoms did not improve much. I still had frequent tightness and dizziness in my head, sometimes nausea, and sometimes tightness in my chest with a slight tingling sensation.

All the signs pointed to the fact that I was ill, but what was causing the high blood pressure? Dizziness, nausea, itchy body parts, occasional numbness in the arms, occasional tingling and tightness in the chest - these are symptoms of heart attack, brain attack, brain hemorrhage, brain tumor, or kidney failure. Even though I have a lot of medical knowledge, I still have to check and draw accurate conclusions before I can prescribe the right medicine. After all, these symptoms may be caused by one disease or two or more. I am currently only being treated for primary hypertension.

So, I came to the hospital for tests. The items that needed to be checked were kidney function, heart, and brain.

I first went to the urology department on the third floor to come in for a routine urine checklist and an ultrasound of the kidneys. Then I went to the ground floor for a urine test. I went to the toilet to collect the urine and at this time, with the bag in my hand, I felt very inconvenienced as I needed to carry it in one hand and just pick it up with the other. I thought, how nice it would be if I had someone to accompany me for the test.

When I got to the ultrasound, there was too little water in my bladder to see clearly and I needed to drink water, so I had to go out again to buy mineral water for myself to hydrate. At this point, I thought, how nice it would be if someone went downstairs to buy a bottle of mineral water for me while I continued to queue here. So, I bought the water, drank it, and queued again, delaying me by half an hour.

After the ultrasound, I went down to get the urinalysis report, which concluded that there were no abnormalities in the urinary system and the kidney function indicators were within normal limits, which ruled out kidney failure, nephritis, and other nephrotic syndromes.

I then went to the fourth floor for an electrocardiogram, which showed to be relatively normal. Finally, it was time for the brain examination, which required an MRI. By this time, it was already 10:30 am and I thought I would not get my turn in the morning, so I thought I would skip it for now. The doctor said that they finish work at midnight and should be able to get a turn. The doctor said that they were off duty at noon and that I should be able to get a turn. So I got the order and waited in line.

I waited until about half past ten and it was my turn. The MRI was done and I realized how much I needed to be accompanied. Because when you go into the examination room, you have to leave your bag and everything at the door, so it would be nice to have someone to carry it for you. I also had to take off my dentures, so I needed someone to hold them. I took off my dentures and put them in my bag, then I put my bag at the door and my mobile phone in my bag. Let's leave it to fate, the doctor said, "Don't worry."

So, at 11:45, I was done and rushed to the ground floor to get the results, but the report took 40 minutes to come out, so I had to wait until the afternoon.

Previously, because of my profession, I had accompanied countless people to their medical appointments. These included both parents, siblings, other relatives and friends, neighbors, leaders, wives and children, and so on. But people who are familiar with me, as long as they are sick, will usually tell me in the first place; I can accompany people to see the doctor improve efficiency, reduce costs, and also discuss the treatment plan with the doctor. Because I have been a medical representative for nearly ten years, I have been in contact with many doctors and I am familiar with them, so I can generally discuss the treatment plan with them.

Today, it was my turn to see the doctor, but when I looked around, no one was able to accompany me. The reason is that everyone else is busy and I am free. I can't open my mouth!

Take my wife and children. There are only two people working shifts on my wife's side, so it's not easy to take time off in case of an emergency. The daughter has just started work and has not yet passed her internship period, so she is even more embarrassed to ask for leave from the leader, so as not to give him the impression that she has too many personal matters. I am a lying flat person, lets busy people take leave to accompany me to see a doctor, this can not feel guilty in the heart.

So, lying flat, I can only go to the doctor by myself, no matter what the result is, I have to bear it by myself. Today, I finally understand :

My leisure, my life, my happiness, and my contentment are all "pseudo-happiness". Our happiness collapsed instantly and we decided to stop lying flat. Because I am not qualified to lie flat at all!

For the sake of reason, a person who is lying flat should not let people who are struggling to go with them to see a doctor ......

When I was ten years old, my eighteen-year-old second sister took me to the county hospital with her on a "big golden deer" to see an eye problem. On the way, we fell several times; however, I didn't feel any pain at all, and we talked and laughed all day long, and our eyes were cured.

This scene, every time I recall it, I am teary-eyed; my sister, and brother hand holding my hand, leaving the infinite warmth, I will always cling to, lifelong memories ......