Love Me The Most when I Deserve It The Least

Everyone makes mistakes in life. We wouldn't be human if we didn't. It's how we grow after making those mistakes that matters. 

It doesn't matter if you're young or old, you still make the wrong choices at times. 

You end up hurting people, and you get hurt too.

Sometimes you do it on purpose, when your emotions run high and you lash out. You say things that you don't mean in the heat of an argument.

Most of the time you don't really mean it.

But... Actions have consequences and words can cut deeply.

Have you ever made the wrong choice that hurt someone deeply?

My youngest came to me looking all sheepish one night when his brother wasn't in the room. He said: "Mommy, I did something bad." 

My heart sank when I heard those words because I immediately thought something terrible had happened. Then I realized it was my son, who never put a foot wrong, and is popular in school. 

I thought; how bad could it be?

I gave him my full attention and we sat side by side as he began to talk. It took a lot of courage for him to admit what happened. 

It turns out that one of his friends is being picked on by one of his other friends. He was feeling torn between them, and decided not to pick sides. 

He said he knew that he did the right thing by staying out of their squabbles, but it kept on happening.

The boys got into a fight over my son's friendship. Other kids joined in too egging them on until fists got involved. The teachers got involved when someone went to get help. 

My son did nothing. He was frozen and didn't know what to do.

One of the boys got a nosebleed. The other broke his wrist when he was pushed and stumbled, which made him fall down a small set of stone steps.

My son was crying when he told me that he felt responsible. That it was all his fault because his friends fought over him.

I held him in my arms as he sobbed, and gave him all my love as we talked it out. I reasoned that we can't control what other people think, or say, or do, even if they blame us. (Neither boy is speaking to him). 

He was simply caught in the middle of two friendships. 

I told my son that now was the time to mend bridges. To be the bigger man and fight for both friendships if that's what he wanted. 

He came home on Friday with a beaming smile after inviting both of his friends to play at our house today. They're sitting in the tree house thinking I can't hear them from the porch.

My heart is going out to my young son, who has taken it upon him to talk to his friends "man to man," about not fighting no more. About being the "bigger man" and "be friends together" and how he likes them both for who they are. 

My son has learnt at his young age that friendship is worth fighting for and that forgiveness is something we should all practice. 

I'm proud of the young man my son is becoming. I wish everyone was a peacemaker at times.

Have you ever made the wrong choice or said the wrong thing that sat in your stomach like a lead balloon afterwards? 

How did you handle it? Did you try and talk it out with the person you hurt? Did they forgive you?

I hope so because friendships matter. 

My name is Lizzy. I'm a trauma survivor, a wife, a mom, a teacher, and an author.

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