Long Time Crush

How long does it take to get over a crush? I am seriously asking.

It's been about three years now, and I still have a crush on this girl. I have no idea why. I am throwing myself into things to keep my mind of off her. But it doesn't seem to be working. Also does not help that I am writing a story and she is one of the main characters. I just don't get it. I am asking for advice.

If anyone out there is willing to help me out, please I am begging you! When I think about her, she's not there. When I don't think about her, she pops up. I currently decided to not be on Facebook or Instagram for the rest of the year. So I get Snapchat is only way for her to see how my life is going. Don't get me wrong, I do look to see if she has seen my Snap Story. I feel happy when I see her name pop up.

I have tried to get into the whole dating thing, but I keep telling myself that I'm too busy. Plus, I can't even talk to a girl without saying something that has to do with the death of stars, or black holes, or comic books. I have met girls online through an app called Whisper. Yeah.......That didn't work out so well. Kind of went down real quick for me, not going to lie. I have written nineteen letters to her. NINETEEN!

A letter a day pretty much. I don't know why I do it. I think it's a coping thing. Just get everything out on paper, hoping and praying she never sees them. These letters have a lot of anger towards her. Things I couldn't say. So I guess it makes it easier.

I just want to let go of her, and just be free of this. I have no idea how. I don't text her, I don't keep up with her on social media. Why can't I get her out of my head? Is it because I just need closure? Or is it because I'm still angry about the fact she rejected me on my birthday?! She told me she met someone else. I think it's the last one.

Hell, I even put up a standing invitation to meet at our favorite place every Friday. She never showed. Which is whatever. I'm used to going on dates by myself at this point. Also, being stood up has gotten a little old, if I'm being honest. I've been rejected a lot. I'm used to it.

So why do I care about her rejection so much? It just doesn't make any sense. I would like answers. I would like for her to talk to me. I'm just tired of being the one that chases. I put the ball in her court three months ago. I've been waiting by the hoop ever since.

I just want to get rid of this feeling, but I can't seem to shake it. It's like no matter hard I try I can't seem to get it out of me. All I want is to get her out of my mind. That's all I want. She's in my dreams. I see her face every time I go to sleep at night. I just want a piece of mind.

The more I stay busy the less I do think about her. But, then, she's right there again within seconds. Why does that happen? I just don't understand. I am hoping this story that I am writing will help me get rid of her. I can't even go on dates without wanting the girl to be her. I've been talking to other girls, but I still don't feel a connection with them like I do with her.

I just want to move on and just be. Why can't I move on? It's like I'm stuck, and I don't like it at all. I'm going on vacation soon and I'm hoping to not think about her while I'm away. I also hope this vacation will let me be able to enjoy time with my family. I'm pretty much going to be handling a lot of things while I'm in Seattle. But, I know she's going to sneak into my mind some how.

She's part of the reason I'm working out again, and taking care of myself. I don't think she finds me attractive at all. I guess part of this is also a petty thing. I start feeling good about myself, meet a different girl, and then my crush comes to me. But, I don't want to think like that. Yet, that is what I think about. Just want her out of my mind.

That's all I ask for is for her to be out of my mind. I need stop searching for her in everything. I really do, but I can't help it for some reason. I know it's not healthy either. It's like this obsession that I am trying to get rid of. A bad habit I know I need to break. I hope to break it soon.

This crush has become something I don't like. Three years is a long time to have a crush. At least for me anyway. Just want to get over it. That's all I want. I want to get over it now. Is that too much to ask for?

How about you? How did you get over your crush? Did you find someone else? Did you ignore your crush completely? Or do you still have a crush on someone that won't return your feelings?

Crushes are hard. They can make you happy one minute. Then, the next minute they can break your heart. It just depends on how you take it if they accept you, or reject you.