Lina’s Ghosts

There were days when Lina sat by her opened window as the cold air grazed her face. She never knew what drew her there or why when she sat in her favorite armchair she was reduced to silent tears. The whispers of the wind echoed in her ears but even they didn’t have enough strength to make her feel anything.

It was only when her body had grown as numb as the depths of her being did she find the will to move. It was almost routine. She would get up, and gently dragged her hands from the window frame and all throughout her house. It was almost as if each touch brought back memories she desperately wanted to cling onto.

“Do you remember?”

She would unknowingly ask herself from time to time. She touched her forehead, as ghostly laughter rang past her. They would constantly haunt her and play with her mind. Once upon a time she would try to fight it and cast aside these clouded thoughts but lately found herself at a stalemate.

Every so often, her hair would tickle her neck jolting her back into the real world but just for a short moment before that frozen pond of misery seized her thoughts once again. Nothing felt right anymore. She swore she never felt alone before and that all these ghosts that had passed her had faces.

The days were a blur as was the night into day and day into night. She found herself staring out the window, sitting in her favorite armchair once again. The ghosts haunted her once more to play with them and begged her to speak.

But she had no strength and said nothing.

The frosty air nipped at her nose as the white speckles of fresh snow drowned out the once flourishing life that stretched on for miles, including the scattered houses but not the frozen pond. Oh, no-nothing ever dared to touch the pond that laid there in the middle of town, just out of reach. That’s me, she would muse to the ghosts when they stood by her side taking her hand.

Oddly, they always felt warm.

“I remember that pond.”

She muttered to herself feeling feverish tears stream down her face. Her hands were heavy, too heavy, to wipe them away.

“I wish I was stronger. I wish I had the strength to see these ghosts and remember,” She cried.

Her cold eyes stared beyond the towering trees and towards the dreary skies. She was lost in thought until a warm sensation dried her tears away. The warmth felt welcoming to Lina. She closed her eyes and leaned into it but the feeling was replaced with the familiar chill of the winter air.

She knew it was one of the ghosts. She wished they would leave her be but then she knew if they left, she would truly be alone. Her mind screamed when she was alone.

After some time she raised her hands out the window in an attempt to catch the fragile snowflakes. One by one they landed softly on her hand leaving tiny cold imprints. She watched the ice melt and became envious, she couldn’t bring herself to break free from the shackles that resided within her mind.

She felt a tug and she looked to see one of her ghosts pulling at her hand.

Was she to follow?

Was it her time now?

They beckoned her to grab her winter coat, and she hesitantly obeyed. They would disappear in and out of her suffocating room. She didn’t even have time to tuck her scarf into her coat before those ghosts grabbed hold and took her out into the wilderness of the open world.

She hazily recognized her surroundings when the cold winds tightly embraced her, sending a strong chill to electrify her body. She became fascinated by the trees, the lonely bushes, the small creatures that buried their way back into their homes, the uncaring neighbors, and finally, the frozen pond.

There was a small dock that was layered with a thin layer of fresh snow that softly crunched underneath the boots she hadn’t realized she had on. A gust of wind blew through her hair and with it, took her scarf. She gasped, reaching out to grab it but a taller ghost she hadn’t noticed firmly caught it within its grasp. It smiled at her and she frowned in confusion.

She was growing tired of not recognizing their faces. She wanted to scream but alas she could not. She hugged herself and stared out toward the pond, with the sun on the horizon beaming down on it.

“Do you remember?”

A quiet voice asked her. She looked down and saw a beautiful smile looking up at her. Lina was unsure. She looked around once again, and for once she noticed that the frozen pond had colorful fish swimming underneath the icy surface. They danced with one another creating a mesmerizing array of colors that reflected that of sparkling chrome lights. The outer rim had been melting away and a deer with its young drank from the pond.

Was the harsh winter already over?

Was it possible?

She blinked slowly observing the peaceful winter wonderland around her. She felt something warm grab ahold of her hand and for the first time in a very long time, she felt alive.

She looked towards her hand and the face of her youngest child, who was five years old, stood there grinning up at her. She spun around to see her other three children and her husband as well all quietly looking at her in anticipation. It seemed foreign to her but her mouth twitched and curved into a dainty smile her family hadn’t seen throughout the winter.

She scooped up her youngest child within her arms, who let out a scream followed by joyous giggles that put an even bigger smile on her face. She hugged her close and the rest of her family ran and embraced her in disbelief that she had broken out of her trance. She no longer felt the cold and no longer wanted to scream. With them, Lina knew she would be okay.

“I remember, thank you. Thank you so much.”