Lies

This is a dialogue between me and two cats, Mrs P. and Hoovercat. Hoovercat got its name because it usually hoovers up all the treats after scaring off Mrs P.

Me: "I feed you every day without fail, when you turn up. You cost me a fortunes in Dreamies and Garfield treats. I always give you the ones you want and you both give each other and me glares, and the snaffle the treats when I am not there"

Mrs P: "You never feed us, we always have to go next door to get treats, and go home to get properly fed. You have never given us anything, not onece. You will only be happy when you starve us to deat, although you can starve Hoovercat if you want, he always chases me away for the food that you never give us".

Hoovercat: "Yes Mrs P. is right but that is not a nice thing to say about me, is it Mrs P? What have I ever done to you, I am always very nice"

Me: "I always give you a full bowl when you come, and when I come back later it is empty, because either one of you or both of you have scoffed it"

Mrs P: "That's not true you just give us empty bowls and pretend that you feed us."

Me: "Well someone is eating the treats and it is certainly not me. My grocery bill tells me how much I have spent on you and it is a lot for two little kitties, well maybe not so little these days after the amoth that you have eaten"

Hoovercat: "It's not us, but we have seen pigeons, sparrows, crows and magpies helping themselves to what should be our treats."

Me: "So now you admit that I do provied you with food and treats"

Mrs P: "Er no, we never said that, we just said that the birds look like they enjoy something from the empty bowls that you put out, so you can say that you have fed us."

Me: "But I know I put the treats out and you come and enjoy them, it may explain you extra portliness. Look I have photographic proof"

Hoovercat: "I told you that is not us, they are imposters. The steal our treats and you think it is us, but it s not. They are thieving felines."

Me: "OK then, maybe I should just stop putting out treats and then yuo kind find your treats elsewhere, would that be fine with you two?"

Extreme Kitty Glares from Mrs P. and Hoovercat.

Me: "So from those glares I assume that you will still expect me to fill your bowls with treats when you come and glare at me on the decking post or start clawing at the door to remind me that you want feeding once again."

Mrs P: "We never do that, you are very mistaken. Your imagination is running away from you. We think that YOU might be eating the cat treats, which is why our bowl is always empty."

Me: "This is getting very silly, I always feed you, and am enteretained by your antics when you come for food, although I don't know why you won't share witheach other."

Hoovercat: "An empty bowl is not worth sharing."

Me: "But the bowl is almost always full, apart after your two have snaffled the treats."

Mrs P: "I think we must agree to disagree. You never feed us. The bowl is always empty. You just imagine filling it up for us, so we will say our goodbyes and never return.

The following day they were back....