Letter from a Divorcee.

When I was 15 years old, I wrote a list of things I would not do in life. I was internally spiritually endowed that I wanted to be so close to perfect for God that my list never came true. I wrote on my list: 1. Stay a virgin until marriage (that sure didn't happen). 2. Don't drink or smoke (I drink but don't smoke but have tried it). and last but not least 3. Get married, have kid(s) in wedlock and don't get divorced (look where I am now). I'm writing a story about being a divorcee and a single mom.

I thought I got happily married January 22nd, 2013 at 21 years of age to a 25 year old soldier I met while I was assigned an additional duty while in the military. He was a sweet guy until we got married and we both moved out ther barracks. We spent literally every single day together unless we were sick or had extra 24-hour duty with our units. I got pregnant 3 months after we got married and around 3 months pregnant, he had deployed to Afghanistan. I was obviously left on rear detachment and as he snapped his final photos with his friends, they said they would look after me while he was gone and make sure I'm okay and also we discussed what the gender of the baby would be. everyone guessed it would be his first son and they all were right.

Fast forward four months later, I suffered experiencing a stillbirth tragedy (I'll tell that story on a different day) He was rushed back hom from Afghanistan from a Red Cross message. Ever since the loss of my son, our marriage went downhill and in March 2015, I broke up with him after thinking if I want him to be with me for the rest of my life, fathering my daughter. I remember my marriage being disrespected by him and his first born's mother flirting on Facebook to each other... But when I confronted them both... It was all a "joke" to them. What if I never confronted them both? How long would the disrespect last? What other actions would he have taken knowing the mother of his child is in fact his "first love?" What if?

As time passed, he began contacting less. But when he did, the communication became more and more of an issue as time went by. He was a naturally nonchalant Virgo man. I was (and still am) a very passionate Sagittarius woman. We would argue more and clearly we began to hate each others guts. By this time I was 23 pushing 24 years old. I became a single mom. Working my ass off. Trying to juggle going to school all at once. Failing college courses. Still striving to b the best I can be. Making sacrifices. Literally what I'm supposed to be doing as a mother but it became extremely exhausting with not much help from the father because divorce was filed February 19th, 2016 and that was the last time he's seen my daughter in the flesh.

Nowadays, I don't speak to this man due to him and his family believing "I have an attitude" when they are the type of people to contact their grandchildren/children only when it is "convenient" for them. When you're family, you are supposed to stay in touch and not reach out when you remember who you're related to or when you're ready to "show face." Love is not blind where you choose when you want to open your eyes.

The point of this story is don't be like me. Don't be gullible, serving in the military and settling for someone when you could be getting so much more. Vet your life partner. Vet who you want to love and who you want to love you back. Don't get married fast and don't marry who you spend every single day with. Pray for who you want to reciprocate unconditional love into you.

Living life as a divorcee is stressful but I mask everything so my daughter doesn't see the pain I have for her when I tell her, her father refuses to visit due to her residing in Michigan, and him residing in Georgia. "She lives too far," yet you choose to spend child support money for her to visit your other kids and I have the burden of explaining to her all the time that her dad is not "always at work." VET YOUR PARTNER. I am not against marriage but if I were to do it over again, I would keep my daughter and choose a new and improved life partner.