Let It Change You

Bianca shrank into the hood of her coat even more - she wanted to slip by the 'popular' girls group at school without getting noticed. The comments about her nerdy glasses, braids or her grandma's sweater didn't bother her anymore, but she could do with a break from them today. Could the day have gotten any worse?

She had backed out of raising her hand in the computer class. The algorithm on the board was super easy. But, she lacked the confidence to raise her arm, walk up to the front of the class and solve it. One of her classmates had found a shoddy solution after ten minutes of dithering. Bianca wished she had a magic pill to give herself the much-needed dose of confidence. One more assignment left in the class. Unless she stood up - she would miss her opportunity to get a scholarship for the software engineering courses.

Her phone gave a familiar buzz indicating a message alert. She fished it out of her coat pocket and touched the home screen just as Minnie - one of the popular girls snatched it out of her hand. Bianca knew it was useless to ask for it, so she braced herself to bear whatever was coming. There was no way she could have prepared for what came next. Minnie read the text, snickered and shouted - 'You will never guess what's on Bianca's phone. Her boyfriend dumped her over the phone. I am surprised she even had a boyfriend.' Bianca's heart dropped to her stomach. Blood was rushing into her ears. She barely heard the comments around her as Minnie pushed the phone back into her hands. She made her way through the crowd of monsters and ran home.

#

Back in her tiny studio apartment, Bianca parked herself on the couch with her laptop. She had picked up ice cream on the way home. It had been a rough week for her. She wanted to disappear over the weekend before facing everybody on Monday. Aryan had ignored her of the late but to dump her over text was taking it too far. And what amplified the humiliation was that everybody knew. She would have cried herself out and been OK with it, but she lacked the courage to face everybody in school.

She yawned as she opened up Netflix. What she needed was a solid night of binge. She thanked God for the genius who had come up with the 'New and Popular' section on Netflix. The streaming platforms' problem was that they had tons of movies but no easy way to find the 'one’ for you. Something in the Top 10 would catch her eye, and after she finished that, she could scroll through the other similar recommendations. She picked out the first recommendation she got - 'Baby Sitter's club' just as the clock struck midnight.

#

She woke up to find herself in Mary Anne Spier's room. Mary Anne had saved the day by taking care of the kid she was babysitting and had an honest conversation with her dad about changing her looks. Mary Anne looked at Bianca and said, 'You do not need anybody's permission to do away with braids or wear contact lenses. You need to be you first.' Bianca looked at the thick sweater she was wearing and said, 'I do not have the confidence to do it.' Mary Anne walked over to her, looked her in the eye, and said, 'You do; otherwise, you wouldn't have found me. It's time your outsides match your inside too. Say it aloud now.' Bianca muttered, 'I am confident.' And then repeated until she was shouting at the top of her lungs, 'I am confident.'

'You have got to watch this one, next - Bianca.' Bianca turned around to see her friends and family ushering her towards an open portal. She waved to Mary Anne as she felt drawn towards the doorway.

#

Bianca found herself standing in front of Vivian's school ground from the movie Moxie was speaking about facing her worst fears. Bianca could feel Vivian's energy as she said how she did not want to be a leader, but she was speaking to a crowd. Bianca could literally feel the words resonating as Vivian talked about not being brave or fierce but standing up for what she liked. To her surprise, Vivian looked at her and said, 'You go and be yourself in the software engineering class - Nothing can stop you from getting a scholarship or whatever you want.' Bianca nodded teary-eyed with an inner joy as she permitted herself to be the best version of herself.

She felt a similar pull from a portal as she waved good-bye to all her friends from Moxie. The portal was decider.com – after all, her favourite Google search was '<title> decider stream it or skip it.'

#

She found herself in an old room in Russia where Beth Harmon was playing her final chess game with Borgov in Queen’s Gambit. There was an eerie silence in the room as everybody watched what she would do next. To Bianca's surprise, she looked straight at her and said, 'Bianca, you cannot let a bunch of words from a boy stop you from being confident. You need to thank the boy. He is helping you break through the barriers of needing somebody to become comfortable with yourself.' She played her final move as the clocks were ticking in the background. Borgov looked at Bianca and said, 'It's your game. Take it.'

#

Bianca woke up with a start and found herself clutching a queen chess piece. Her laptop had gone off to sleep, and the ice cream tub was empty. She felt wide awake and full of energy. Her mobile beeped with a 5:00 AM alarm. She cleaned up her couch, put on her running shoes and went for a run. As she was coming back, she walked into a salon to get a swanky new haircut. She came home bursting with energy, opened her laptop and wrote a letter to her professor explaining why her algorithm was the best. Last but not least, she posted on her ex-boyfriend's social account - thanking him for dumping her over text and helping her realize her true worth.

She spent the rest of the weekend clearing her house and her closet - making space for new in her new life. Change can happen only in the NOW - you just have to be ready for it.