Law 3: Conceal your intentions

A Love story

In the 17th century France, there was a man called Marquis de Sevigne. He was in love with a young countess. He wanted to seduce this difficult young countess. To attract her, he went to Ninon de Lenclos and asked her for help. Ninon knew everything about the art of love. She believed, Seduction was a game, to be practiced with skill.

Ninon made a step by step plan for Marquis to attract the countess. The plan was to be followed for a few weeks. She told him all the secrets. From the small ones like how to stand and how to walk, to the big ones like having a few young women around him and improving his charisma.

Marquis followed all these instructions religiously. He would be surrounded by beautiful women especially in those places, where the pretty countess was expected to see him.

He was told to remain calm and relaxed, thus look confident even while having such beautiful women around him, to make it seem like he doesn’t care about it and it isn’t a big deal for him. For two weeks he followed this path. He would go to places with the women around him and socialize with people marking his presence in the mind of that countess.

As days passed, the countess had started to notice the charm of Marquis, slowly developing attraction towards him. She began to be jealous as she was not sure of his interest in her.

One day Marquis, unable to control his passion, forgot about Ninon’s plan and blurted out to the countess that he loved her.

After this, the countess no longer found him interesting and avoided him.

If you display your feelings too soon, it becomes an artless show of passion, i.e., a door closed that would never open again.

The whole premise of dating is based on games, wild moves and being unpredictable.

This was an example of what happens when you don’t conceal your intentions. Now, let’s see how you can reap benefits by concealing your intentions.

A War story

In the early years of the 19th century in Europe, there were many kingdoms that had german-speaking populations. The unification of these German-speaking regions into one nation called Germany was spearheaded by one man called Otto von Bismarck.

When he was a deputy in the Prussian parliament, many fellow deputies thought it was possible to go to war against Austria and defeat it. Bismarck wanted to go to war but he knew that the King was not in favor of it. He also knew that the Prussian army was not prepared, so he devised a clever way. He publicly stated his praises for the Austrians and talked about the madness of war. Many deputies changed their votes.

Had Bismarck announced his real intentions, arguing it was better to wait now and fight later, he would have not only lost but also damaged his image as a strong leader. Most Prussians wanted to go to war at that moment and mistakenly believed their army to be superior to the Austrians.

Had he gone to the King, his sincerity would have been doubted. By giving misleading statements about wanting peace and concealing his true purpose, Bismarck’s speech catapulted him to the position of prime minister.

He later led the country to war against Austrians at the right time when he felt the Prussian army was more capable and united with Germany (Bismarck used the German language to persuade Germany in helping Prussia)

After he became the prime minister of Prussia, he wanted all Germans to stand shoulder to shoulder, united under one flag, the flag of Germany. He went on to become the first chancellor of Germany. He was also known as the Iron Chancellor because of his strong leadership qualities.

Lessons

1. In seduction, if you set up conflicting signals such as desire and indifference, you not only throw them off the scent, you inflame their desire to possess you.

2. Honesty is a blunt knife that bloodies more than it cuts. Your honesty will most likely offend people, so it is wiser to tailor your words, telling people what they want to hear rather than the coarse and ugly truth of what you feel.

3. If you become completely open, you’ll become so predictable and familiar that people will find no reason to respect or fear you.

Summary

Keep people in the dark by never revealing the purpose behind your actions. If they have no clue of what you’re up to, they cannot prepare for a defense. Hold their hand and guide them far enough down the wrong path, envelop them in enough smoke, and by the time they realize your intentions, it will be too late.

“If you want power, quickly leave aside your honesty and train yourself in the art of hiding your intentions.”