Juneteenth: Support Black Film

Introduction

Growing up my parents believed very strongly in supporting anything Black made. They believed the only way to have more Black people in positions of power was to support the ones who have made it. Since my personal belief is to support Black people who share a passion and desire to grow the Black community. Not all Black influencers use their voice to uplift the community and therefore those influencers don't get my attention or money. With that being said, I still believe firmly in supporting Black doers and makers. Black entertainment has been a pivotal part of my own identity and upbringing. In fact, some of the only spaces for queer representation that I experienced happened while watching B.E.T. as a kid. While two of the movies on this list were less a part of my childhood and more of my adult-childhood, I find these to be influential on my journey through life and self-liberation.

Pariah (2011)

This film came out when I was struggling with understanding my own sexuality and personal identity. Up until college, I had lived my life based on the beliefs and expectations of my very traditional, strict, and religious parents. I knew I loved being spiritual and finding solace in religion. I knew there were some traditional beliefs and rituals that I enjoyed. I also knew that I loved how my parents used religion to encourage social justice and community service. But I also knew my parents held very strict ideas of what sexual identities were accepted in our family unit. I also knew I liked playing around with gender in creative ways. I knew that I didn't want to live the same safe and traditional life my parents had. I wanted adventure and new experiences and new tastes. For the most part, I expressed these wants in poetry, the easiest way for me to be honest without being completely transparent. I could write in code about my same-sex attractions, or my want to break out of the mold. Poetry allowed me safety in a time when I didn't always feel safe to be myself.

This film mirrored all of these feelings in such a strong and relative way that I felt angry the first time I watched. I felt exposed and vulnerable and did not like feeling so seen by strangers. After rewatching the movie, I felt less angry and more appreciative. It wasn't going to change my life right away because my parents were still not accepting of homosexuality and my life was still pretty much ran by them. It did, however, make me feel a little less lonely at a time that I felt like I was battling all of these emotions all alone.

Us (2019)

Okay listen, I had to include a horror film because I absolutely looove horror, but I also had to include a horror film that I felt closely tied to. There are some insanely brilliant Black horror films out there, and I suggest you take an adventure through Black horror, but this film spoke/still speaks to me.

Currently, I am on a journey through healing. I am doing the work of acknowledging trauma dealing with my body dysmorphia, my eating disorder, religious trauma, racial trauma, and my journey through self-harm, mental health shame, and so much else. When I first saw Us, the tagline "We are our own worst enemy" hit me hard. Similar to Pariah I did NOT want to be seen like this. How dare they say such a thing. But thinking through my own lived experiences, so much of my trauma has either been created by the people I love most, or those people have encouraged me to hide and push down those experiences as if they never happened. What happens to trauma unaddressed? It comes back to haunt you, chipping away at you little by little until you feel torn and exposed. That was exactly what was happening to me. When I finished watching it, all I could think about was how much of my life I hid away. Lucky for me, I watched this movie only weeks before the pandemic began, which inspired me to use the pandemic to reflect on trauma I had experienced. For this reason, this movie I feel closely tied to and therefore had to include it!

B.A.P.S. (1997)

Finally, a movie I actually watched as a child. I remember the first time I watched this was with my Mom on some random summer afternoon. It was funny and cute, but usually, comedies that had Black female protagonists did not make me feel very great. Sure, I laughed a lot but would feel more self-conscious about my hair, weight, modesty, or the way I talked. Because of a lot of those Black comedies of my childhood, I thought that the world hated me. I was very anxious as a child and it only fueled that anxiety. I thought the world thought I was ugly and fat, and like I was the butt of every joke. BUT THIS MOVIE!!!

Don't get me wrong, there are a lot of jokes in here that make my eyes roll, but the focus of this movie isn't on the women's differences, but how others treat their differences. They don't fit into the world of the wealthy white people of power with their claws and weave and heavy makeup. They are scoffed at, disrespected, under-estimated, and more. Their friendship and a strong sense of self and self-love keep their spirits up and they find happiness in being themselves and even influence the white people around them. This movie is a must-see for everyone. Sometimes I just watch this movie to remind myself to be a baddie.