Jealousy

Jealousy

My sister helped me get all lined out with what I needed to do for this dance. She helped me to pick out my tux. She helped me with what to say to the florist about what type of corsage to get. She even helped me with suggestions on where to take her to eat. If I didn’t have a helpful sister with this stuff, I don’t know what I would have done. Oh yeah, I would have had to ask my parents for advice. I am sure glad I didn’t have to do that. I feel like I am completely ready for this dance, this adventure. I’ve never done this before so I hope to make a lasting impression. A lasting GOOD impression or else I don’t think I would be able to show myself at school. I would most likely be ridiculed more than I was before my Senior year if that is even possible. I can’t think negatively though.

Ok, I am going through my checklist of what I needed to get, how to get it, and when I should give it out. I’ve already received my tux and it fits just fine. I will be picking up the corsage from the florist the day before the dance. I’ve made a reservation at one of the nicest restaurants in town. Everything seems to be falling into place. What could go wrong at this point? Oh boy, why did I even have to think that?

The next day at school (at this point it is about 1 week before the dance) I met up with Jackie like I have been doing every day and we would just talk about stuff. Nothing really important, except for one thing that stood out in the conversations we would have either in person or in the notes that we pass to each other in-between classes is that we are both excited to go to the dance together. I never really thought that I would ever be with someone that makes me this happy. I don’t want you to think that the only thing that is on my mind is to, let’s say, take advantage of her. I would never do that. I was raised by my parents to give respect to the ones I am with. I know that these are just words and it might be a ruse that I am playing, but it was true for me. I have no reason to think that anything physical will ever come about with me going to the dance with Jackie and I have no plans on doing such a thing. I just wanted to enjoy myself at the dance with a friend.

After school I decided to wait after her cheerleading practice to see if she wanted to go get a soda or something, basically just to hang out with me. We’ve done this a couple of times before where we would hang out after school so this was no big deal. She would just let her parents know that she was out with friends and after we are done hanging out, I would take her back to school so she can get her car. We wouldn’t stay out late or anything, just long enough to spend time with a friend.

I saw that cheerleading practice was over and Jackie and her friends were walking back to the school. I was getting ready to get out of my car to ask her if she wanted to go somewhere with me and noticed that John was walking up to her. John is Tim’s right-hand man so to speak. He is his best friend and does his bidding when he tells him to do so. I wonder what he is doing talking with her. As I sit in my car, I can see that the conversation looks as if it is a pleasant one. Jackie doesn’t seem to be mad, in fact, she is smiling and even laughing during this conversation. If it was a conversation in which she was upset or mad I would have got out of my car and put a stop to the conversation, but it didn’t look like I was going to have to do that. For some reason, I felt something that I have never felt before. I believe some people would call it jealousy. I don’t know why I felt that way. Was it because she is laughing with another guy other than me? I shouldn’t feel this way, should I? This is how Tim was and he was a controlling jerk. I didn’t want to be like him so after the conversation was over, John walked to his car and Jackie continued to walk toward the school.

I don’t want anyone to think of what I am doing is controlling, but I am just curious about the conversation she was having with John. I debated whether or not to ask her because I didn’t want to make her angry with me right before the dance. I have decided just to let it go and if she wanted to let me know about the conversation then that’s where it’s going to be left. There’s no reason why I need to think anything crazy is going on, right? This is making me nuts………..