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If You're Staying Single Because Of These Reasons, You're An Idiot

These so-called reasons just don't make any sense.

By Ellen "Jelly" McRaePublished about a year ago 6 min read
Image created on Canva

Every single person has a reason for why they're not dating anyone. 

Some reasons aren't meaningful if you will. It could be something like, I don't have time. I can't be bothered dating. I'm happy on my own right now.

There's nothing silly about those reasons for being single. They all make sense to logical people. They're valid reasons, not that they need validation. You get what I mean, though. They're socially acceptable reasons.

And they're your genuine reasons too. You have an intimate and emotionally intelligent understanding of your relationship decisions. If you're a single who knows yourself, this isn't for you.

But sometimes people come up with weird, and not so wonderful, reasons for staying single. And they try to pretend their reasons make sense, to them and to the people in their lives.

If you're harbouring one of these reasons, you're more than just acting silly. It's pretty idiotic of you. 

Here are the reasons why they make no sense to everyone.

Something better is coming

This staying single reason is all about resisting getting into a relationship with someone you like, but can't commit to. 

And your reason for keeping yourself on the singles market is because you're convinced a better relationship is out there. 

Or coming for you next.

You're smarter than to rely on this reason. You know that something better isn't guaranteed. And that with 110% certainty this better person will come along. 

There is no math, science, or law of probability that means this will happen to you. And even if it has happened to you before, or it's happened to a friend, it does not mean it's next time lucky.

It's ok to reject a relationship because you know better is out there. You've met someone who is more suited to you. Or you know this person won't make you happy. 

We often use this phrase to describe how we know a person isn't right for us.

But treating your single life as a game of Wheel of Fortune isn't smart. Life doesn't work like that. Throwing a good relationship on blind hope and luck doesn't scream emotional maturity.

Something richer is coming

If you're into the idea of dating purely for the money, you've got the same problem as waiting for something better to come alone. There's no guarantee something richer is going to come your way.

I'm not even sure how you tell people's wealth nowadays. Appearing rich is easier than ever. Designer clothes are more accessible than ever. Dressing down, and wearing tracksuits, is no longer an indication you have no money.

It would seem like you're setting yourself up for an impossible task. 

And when you know you're setting yourself up for failure, it's never going to be a wise justification for your single status.

Something hotter is coming

Now I separated this point out from something better because I've heard a lot of singles talk exclusively about looks.

The people they've dated or met have been perfect for them. They've found smart, kind, generous people who like them and want to date them. Yet, they reject them and prefer their single life in the hope a person better-looking will come along.

In short, this person isn't hot enough.

Why do I believe this is an idiotic reason to stay single? Because much like something better, there's no guarantee of something hotter coming along either.

Yet, more so, looks change. You know that. Your looks have changed. So if you date them based on how they look now, you're a fool for thinking that's how they will stay forever. 

It's like you are chasing a robot romance and you're smart enough to believe they don't exist.

And if you're that shallow and date people purely based on looks, don't expect the world to accept your reasoning for staying single. You wait for the shallow and vein stamp to land on your forehead any time now.

People aren't going to take too kindly to your reasons, either. People don't like the idea of having themselves ranked and sorted by their looks. Even if it is true.

People don't like you

It's easy to stay single when you're convinced you don't do relationships well. Or that the group of people you're attracted to aren't attracted to you. You're never going to find anyone because they don't like you, so why bother trying?

It's a cop-out. A silly one at that because most people see through this excuse.

Someone out there will like you in a romantic sense. There's probably someone with a crush on you right now and you don't even know it.

It's completely unreasonable and irrational to think no one can possibly ever want to date you.

I can understand how you come to that conclusion, especially if you've had unsuccessful dates. Or many ended relationships. But this happens to everyone.

Take the celebs, models, and billionaires. On paper, they're the most desirable people in the world and they still go through divorces, break ups, and worse.

You don't trust anyone

I get it. You've had bad relationships in the past where trust is the biggest issue. And despite everything you do, the people you date seem to see you as a target.

They don't respect you. They break your trust at the first moment they can.

It's awful, I get it.

But let's be real here.

The reason why I've flagged this reason for staying single is that most people know in every relationship, a person tests our trust every once in a while.

No one is perfect. No relationship is easy. You never meet a person you never have trust issues with. And to stay single because you don't trust anyone is failing to acknowledge what it's like to date literally anyone.

And it's hypocritical too. As if you haven't broken someone's trust in your time.

Forget the excuses

Ok, you're not stupid. I'm being too unkind. But you're kidding yourself, and the people around you, by using reasons to stay single that don't make sense. Or for reasons that aren't logical and that are clearly a lie.

You don't have to have a good reason for being single, not pursuing a relationship, or doing anything romantically you want. You don't have to have a reason at all. You can be single because you want to be single.

But telling people something that's wrong, or that makes you look foolish, doesn't help you in the long run. 

Not only do you alienate the people in your life, but they also won't take you seriously when you do end up dating someone.

And as much as you don't need their approval, it doesn't make dating very easy when everyone in your life questions your decisions. It's a challenge you don't need when you think you've found happiness.

And let's forget about what other people think. What about you?

If this is what you tell yourself, if these are your genuine reasons for staying single, you're kidding yourself.

You're covering for the bigger issues holding you back. You're making excuses to avoid confronting why you're single. And if you can't confront those issues, and you want a relationship, it will never happen to you. Denial never gets you anywhere.

Be honest with yourself. Don't make idiotic excuses to help you sleep at night. 

It won't help you in the long run.


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About the Creator

Ellen "Jelly" McRae

I’m here to use my wins and losses in #relationships as your cautionary tale | Writes 1LD; Cautionary tale #romance fiction |

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