If a Difference of Age Disturbs Your Relationship

This newer century has not been any kinder than previous ones in terms of the bias towards women in unions involving a significant difference of age between the partners. It was never a piece of chocolate cake; some even call it a slice of cheese cake. For some foolish reason, people tend to eye a couple where the woman is older than the man with mockery and reproachfulness. It is still held in numerous little minds that both partners in a relationship should possess the same age or a slight difference of a few years. Women are expected to be younger than the men they live with or marry, and if this clause is not respected, the women in question suffer from their society’s hypocrisy, and often, from the weakness of their companions. The solution to this ancient problem is mathematical: the Law of Averages. However, its effectiveness resides only in the minds of the couples involved. Society’s beliefs are so difficult to alter that a solution seems almost impossible.

...

Jane and Robert have been living together for the past eight years. Jane is ten years older than Robert, and they live in good harmony—perfection does not exist. They accepted the difference of age between them, or as they call it, the Age Barrier. They believe it shuts out possible situations of happiness between people and turns potentially feasible relationships into business meetings and mechanical selections.

“What is your secret?” I asked with a guilty feeling. Such a question was absurd. There was no secret to it. One only needed to be logical and loyal to the real meaning of the word, human. Robert took Jane’s hands into his own and said with a calculated smile: “It’s mathematical my friend; plain mathematics.” I was curious to find out what math had to do with it and became an ear. Robert reached for a pencil and a piece of paper and wrote for me, step by step, the formula of their secret:

Jane’s age = 36

Robert’s age = 26

Sum of both ages = 36 + 26 = 62 = S

Age Barrier = 36 - 26 = 10 = A

S + A = 62 + 10 = 72 = twice Jane’s age

S - A = 62 - 10 = 52 = twice Robert’s age

Average = S / 2 = 62 / 2 = 31 = our new age

I began by smiling, soon it became a chuckle, and before I knew it, I was laughing my heart away. “Brilliant, just brilliant!” I said while I was drying my eyes from my helpless tears. My laughter receded and its serenity was similar to Dickinson’s stillness between the heaves of a storm. My laughter almost killed me, but luckily I stopped in time.

After a period of silence, Jane said with her own calculated smile: “What is also marvellous about this formula is that aging doesn’t affect it. Having been born, mathematically, in the same year, we’ll always possess the same age. We have also decided on a new birthday date: the Fourth of July.” She was mathematically right, but they were both wrong about the true meaning of the formula. Their new ages were only real in their minds, for society will never accept such a claim. I am afraid that if such falsehood is needed to keep a relationship stable and healthy, it is not quite worth it, the falsehood, that is. I left them in their dream world and went to face reality with tearful eyes. Somehow, my tears were still helpless.

...

“Jane! Read this! It’s his article about our formula. He calls it a sham.”

“Oh, Robert! How revolting!”

“I really dislike this fellow’s article. You should read it.”

“Let me see! Oh yes! Yes! Yes! Right! I hate math, but this formula makes sense. Yes! Laugh away! Yes! Oh yes, Robert! It’s a dreadful article. Could you please pour me another cup of coffee?”

“Right away, dear! By the way, Jane; having celebrated our forty-ninth birthdays, I can’t remember our fictitious ages anymore.”