I Talk Too Much and It's a Problem

This week I kept getting in trouble for interrupting my best friend and talking over her. I swear that the things I needed to say were important. Do you ever listen to someone but you heard what they said already during the exact conversation you are having right now, so you stop them and go "I know, you just said that". Well, I do that a lot.

Then they go "you didn't even hear what I had to say" or "you didn't let me finish" or "well, if you stopped interrupting me I would get to my point".

Well, I've just about had it with hearing that. It never goes well. I don't want to be rude, or disrespectful. I just didn't want her to waste her time telling me something I already know. Turns out, we never know what someone is going to say, we only assume. They can start their sentence with the same thing we have heard 5 times before, but the end result may be different.

Imagine saying the same thing over and over, telling the same story over and over again to different people. What happens to your story? It changes just a little bit every time. Like the game of telephone. So, even if it has only been a half hour of arguing with someone, and it is only going on a half hour because you keep interrupting the other person like a mind reader or something...maybe just...shut up?

Not talking is hard for me. Not going to blame it on my list of mental disorders, but of course they have a part to play. I also just have SO much to say. All the damn time. I want to share things that are funny or sad or exciting or weird and things that make me go "what the hell?"

Sadly, not everyone wants to hear what you have to say. Do you remember hearing about how the quiet people are the most deadly ones? Now, I am not talking about farts, but it is the same kind of concept. The quiet people, like kids even during adult conversations, they hear everything. They people watch, they listen when every single person in that group is talking.

They can also analyze body movements and body language, they are the ones who go home later that day and asks questions like "Did you see the way Sally looked at Brian? She is totally into him, do you think Chad knows?" Then every friend in their group is questioning her like, "Um Sally is dating Chad, and they were all over each other all night"

That may have been true, however, in between those hugs and pecks they gave each other, Brian was eyeing Sally, and Sally left her hand next to Brian's for a good 6 seconds until Chad came back into the room from the kitchen. Then, when Sally left the room to use the bathroom, Brian watched her leave the room and didn't turn his head until she came back into the room, in which he was the first to turn his head and see her.

Not a very important example, but people who stay quiet and observe other people, see the little details that other people assume that nobody sees.

Now, instead of me interrupting people, assuming I know the ending, I should just stop talking all together, listen, and wait for them to finish.

Now, I have another issue. When I do this, I end up not talking at all. Then I get asked "aren't you going to say something? Weren't you listening to a word I said?"

Like, yes I was! I was listening so hard that I ONLY heard what you said, and had no thoughts of my own. Now I am trying so hard to come up with a response, that I forgot what things I was supposed to be responding too. Now it seems like I wasn't listening at all. Great, nice job brain.

So, I can stay silent and listen to people. But, where do my thoughts go when I am listening? It is part of my black and white thinking. I either listen 100% or I interrupt and assume 100%. I guess I should practice on doing a good 50/50, right?

The next few months I will be attempting to be more...mute. Silent. Quiet. Understanding. A good listener. I WILL not interrupt anyone, even if I think that I know what they are going to say. Even if they literally said exactly what they said before and exactly what I knew they were going to say.

Let's see how much information I learn...let's see what my best friend thinks of this new...quiet....me.