I SPENT TIME IN THE WATCH HOUSE

I had a slight feeling of knowing something was coming.

Of course yes I was on the run hiding out for 4 years from my past,I made some really stupid mistakes only after the age of 50. It was my fault for going along with the wrong man, we were not good for each other it was a toxic love. But we did love each other with absolute soul connection maybe second true love.But I had a tainted life full of violence just like a beautiful magnet calling in all the demons. Life was like the Tarot 10 of swords card, the woman lying flat on the ground with her face facing the dirt. She is covered with red cloth from the chest down to her legs. Ten long swords are stabbed into her back, she may not have seen this end coming. There is a terrible stillness in the air: the sky above him is black and cloudy indicating the fear and negativity associated with death. The waters in front of her are still, with no ripples — adding to the eerie stillness and finality. Looking into the horizon, in the east, the sun is rising, and the weather seems very calm despite the darkness. The Ten of Swords seems to intimate that this is the lowest point in one’s life, and it cannot get worse than this. At least, even in this state, the sun is rising.I did call in all the energy of betrayal, violence and just hard lessons not just for me but for my four sons, they endured much..

But by the power of love we are still together and they are my greatest beloveds my sons are the gifts of the Lord,

The fruit of the womb is a reward.

Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins. (1 Peter 4:8)

The Boys and Girl in Blue knocked loudly on the door it was a command to open the door the running is finished.I was kinda happy at the thought of at last its over I will wait and see what the outcome and just go with the flow .. I sinned and now its time to seek forgiveness.They took me off in the police car to the Perth watch house in custody..I arrived to this little part of hell and torment what the fuk was I in for ?They took finger prints mug shots and the dreaded take your clothes off and cough routine.. then the bras off lots of questions on health and then off to the room behind so many doors of thick glass with the florescent lights bright and sterile with a stench of wee thrown in for good measure .

Three concrete slabs on the ground placed in for three women to share this hotel fuking California the sleep was with a inch thick plastic mattress and for the comfort of a thin woolen blanket that smells like dirty ass.Think light gracious thoughts my little shocked brain said ,think about the last time you were with your grand daughter jumping into the ocean with all your clothes on, think of her beautiful blue eyes laughing at you and with you,the sand the ocean the giggles the birds flying above..feel it see it . Well that lasted for a couple hours then I was thirsty parched needed something to drink ,oh great a water fountain next to the smelly communal toilet.

The woman I was sharing with was sleeping like a baby even with the florescent light blaring its toxic fumes out ,she was snoring and farting at the same time it was a glorious thing to sleep to.. another woman came in around midnight and she went to sleep too.The guards came in around 5.00 am in the morning with a white bread sandwich with polony and cheese.There goes the keto diet to all you low carb girls out there. What No green tea or bullet proof coffee shit reality is sinking in I am now in the eye of my reality..maybe no more ocean for a while..

The guards come in and round us up to go to the Court house transported in a prisoner truck ,I share with the young woman that arrived at around midnight that night and we struck up a conversation with her being on the run for 12 months after I told her I was also on the run for nearly 4 years.. Fuk that's how you become a heroine you escape the Little boys in Blue for a span of years and you are Awesome.. someone had to think so I seemed to let down my mother and father ,not so much my sons they just loved me ..It was a given..

This is what the fuk I learned as we were traveling to the court house with the bad music playing in the background sitting on our steel seats ,she was a mother of 5 children 3 under 4 she had escaped a bad relationship and was on the run from the police because she was fearful she would loose her children..Still breast feeding as her milk was leaking . Her face was hardened by the drug use but she had a strong cheek bones I would say she was beautiful even without her front teeth..Her energy was hard exterior but a quiet reserved soul,I felt for her in the only way another mother could feel when you have been through domestic violence for years and there is no fuking one to help you they just don't want the headache of actually giving a shit..You are judged by all your family and called names for being so weak,sometimes that's the journey it just gives you understanding for others because its not all about you and your pretty little life .When you have to keep moving and moving you become poorer and poorer you have to start all over again and again and again and again you loose every material thing . The most important thing though is not to loose your children's lives or of course your own as you are the only one too be the care giver. The family unit the tribe can not be torn apart we stand together even with interfering parents who think you are no good as they have there own issues and you are just the black sheep not really well liked by your mother and that just has to be fuking ok. AS it is just the truth of it no good trying to get mummy and daddy's approval because they love you BUT!!!!!!!!

We arrive at the Court house and there we wait again to be escorted to the other watch house to wait for you to stand before the judge. There is five of us waiting in the cramped concrete one smelly toilet pissbox..Its hot with no air and no orange juice again just a smelly water fountain over the toilet..You might say who cares you women should suffer for your crimes justice should be done! Maybe it could be true or it could be not true .We waited all day for our name s to be called but as we waited for the 6 hours we bonded ,we cried together we laughed and we hugged.. I was so worried for Tiffany the burden on my heart for the little ones ,what a tragedy to be without a mother and her without her children ..The pain in her eyes we were still helpless see to wait for the judgements of the Judge.. WE prayed together the last three of us women were left waiting to be sentenced Tiffany went up first she believed she was going to prison for sure .

The week prior to being found I went to church with two of my sons ,the sermon was a life teaching not really a sermon more of a seminar ,one of the quotes from the Torah was about before Peter’s trial he was sleeping in the prison chained between the two guards when someone woke him up. It was an angel. The angel told Peter to get up and get dressed. The chains immediately fell off of Peter. Peter followed the angel past all of the guards and out of the prison. When they came to the locked city gates the gates just opened all on their own.

Peter followed the angel out of the city and to the end of a street. All of this time Peter thought he must be having a vision. Then, as quickly as he appeared, the angel vanished.

Coincidence or crazy Crone it dose not matter When Tiffany came back she had a no teeth smile which was so beautiful ,she was allowed to go home to her little ones she was freed, The next was up Vanessa a mother of eight children all grown up ,,WOW JUST wow she was freed . Then little old me went up to stand before the Judge ,I seen my son sitting with his girlfriend waiting all day for his mother with such patience and hope ..I cannot express the Love the gift I had sitting waiting for me the son my son .. I walked away free back to the watch house now just waiting for my things and paper work I walked out the doors and there was my son waiting and Tiffany I walked over to her and we hugged it was me little white girl with a rich upper class up bringing and the The colored Girl with a lower class upbringing ..What the fuk I learned is DO NOT JUDGE THE COLOR THE OUTER LOOKS DONT JUDGE PEOPLES MISTAKES>>IN AUSTRALIA NOW ITS ABOUT THE COLOR EVEN WITH THE INDIGENOUS THEY ALSO JUDGE OUR WHITE SKIN.I will pray for her and her children we found a connection and there is no difficulty that enough love will not conquer. AMEN IT IS DONE