I’M CANCER, RIGHT?

I was born on the longest day of the year, June 21 1999 at exactly one forty in the afternoon, after a mild earthquake shook the ground. Were those The Zodiac Gods battling over whose team I would be on? Well bad news Gemini God, I am all Cancer.

Here’s the story of how I got told that after twenty one years of living as a sweet, moody Cancer I was mistaken, I was not a Cancer but in fact a gemini…it all happened on a rainy London day.

I had been an intern at a showroom and PR company for a month and a half. It was a small business, like six people in total; seven if you count me. They were nice enough, I liked the work enough. I was happy, it wasn’t bad...well until one day. The rainy day that got them cozied up in the office a little too long, long enough to wait for their “Irish Hot Chocolate” and warm ciders to arrive. The day they decided to start a conversation with me. Asking more about me. What’s your favorite designer? Lunch place? Chinese Birth Year? And as guessed... Zodiac sign? When I replied timidly but proud “I am a Cancer, month of June,” but they were not done yet. They wanted me to take this “really cool” test, apparently it would let me learn more things about my zodiac sign: Cancer. That seemed like a thing I didn’t mind doing, so I started filling out my birth day, month, year, and hour. Once all was filled I hit submit. I was shocked by what I saw: “Zodiac Sign: Gemini.” I immediately made clear that they all knew it was wrong and must be having a glitch, I was certainly and purely Cancer. To that one of my “bosses” replied by something that I still think of to this day, she said, “Oh, babe!! You are Gemenine, don’t deny it. WE ARE Gemeni Sisters, yasssss.” She then left the room to refill her drink cut, and the others followed behind. I was left there, alone, to contemplate my whole existence. For all my life I had clicked the Crab sign with confidence and pride. For twenty one years I had lived as a caring, intuitive, emotional, ambitious, resilient Cancer human being. But now, the website was telling me I had been wrong. My own mother had been wrong! That left me no choice but to call my mother, quite mad if I may add, and as soon as she responded I told her, “I took the test, I am a Gemenine MOM!” I hung up before she could respond. I packed my things, and said my goodbyes, I was done for the day. As I stepped outside and looked up at the sky and sighed, I couldn’t stop thinking of how I had been wrong this whole time about who I was.

And that was the miserable, rainy London day that made me have a small epiphany and early mid-life crisis. But no worries because it is all more dramatic than how it sounds, classic Cancer, am I right? My sudden life crisis got fixed quite quickly, as when I returned to my flat and had dinner with my (Aquarius) boyfriend that rainy day. I told him all about my horrible realization; that I was no longer going to be ruled by the emotional moon, I was now going to be fast and impulsive. My boyfriend had been cooking and got distracted by my very passionate rant but after letting the smoke settle he went to his computer and entered my birth information. “Why are you saying you’re a Gemini? Literally all the Zodiac calendars and websites I’ve gone into say June 21 1999 is Cancer. See, you're still you are cuddly and a bit moody cancer,” laughed and left to check on his food again.

But the thing is he was right. In his computer it clearly stated, “June 21 1999: Zodiac Sign Cancer.” And so did the next one, and the next tab, and about three others. So I realized there were more facts confirming what I thought was always true, I am Team Cancer. Always. Well...maybe always at least.