I do not know what to write

Seriously. I am going to write about the fact that I have a $1 first month membership. I was given a $5 bonus once I submitted my 5th story. I feel like I must earn enough on reads and tips to finally be able to cash out, and then I can justify keeping vocal+ one more month. Yet, I am so uninspired.

Oh, I have started many stories. I was going to write about my first mission trip, which was also my first time on an airplane, my first time out of the country.

Lots of stuff to write there right?

But a part of me wants to really get that story completely 100% correct. I want all the heart. I want to be able to post a link to the website where you can go directly and donate to an orphanage that we visited and saw all the sweet faces of the children who live there. But I think I am scared I will not be able to impart the heart necessary. Or worse, I will come across as some “white savior” when the truth of the situation is I met some of the most loving individuals on this mission trip, and really feel badly about not sending any of my American money that way, when there are still specific children me and my daughter still talk about to this day.

Next thing I was going to write about was the research I am currently doing to see about getting my Masters Degree in Library Science. Something that thrills me and scares me all at the same time. I mean, there is lots of things to write about there. But about the time I get it wrote, I cannot figure out how to end it, as it is something I am currently working towards and looking into, so delete, delete, delete.

So I looked to my fur babies because who does not love a fur baby and want to read about that? But we have a Belgian Shepherd, with a chihuahua, snake, and cat and it can be a little bit of a circus overall. An exhausting circus at times, and I did not have enough to fill a page once I started writing. Let alone a 700-800 word count.

So I am currently doing a weight loss challenge with other friends on Facebook. So relatable right? But I am currently in a funk trying to drink smoothies for a cleanse to kick off the challenge and not loving them. So I have no motivation to lose weight let alone tell of my efforts.

I guess as I think of topics I am going to have to write them down or type in my notes section of my phone and then just think up details or things to talk about. I do think I plan to write about most of the topics listed. I just need to figure out better how to write it in a not quite journal way, and more of a “you do not want to miss this article” way.

I like poems. I wrote poems all the time when I was younger. Not great works of art, but cutesy poems. I wrote one for my nephew and read it at the rehearsal dinner for his wedding. My 12th grade English teacher was there, as she is close family to my nephew’s now wife.

Which, completely off topic for just a second, but is my nephew’s wife my niece? I have struggled with this. I just usually name her as my nephew’s wife. But this is truly the type of thing I google in the middle of the night!

Anyways, my past English teacher in the audience is in the audience. (We live in a small town so why not.) She piped up that I was her student at the rehearsal after I read it, so I can not be that horrible of a poet, right?

So I am thinking a poem or two in the midst of things would be nice to write in the long run. Maybe I can really put the heart needed in a poem about my first mission trip. Not get into the littlest details, but really tell about the need there still is in that area. Also, tell about the effect watching the older children take a balloon that we had inflated and tied for them to play with, and untie that balloon so that they could keep it. I mean, my children have had balloons to play with all their lives. We have took whole packs of balloons and blew them up just so they could have a ball pit experience or throw a bunch on the trampoline to make jumping more fun or fill up water balloons for the very reason of throwing them to bust and soak the victim who was hit. Never once have I seen any child here in America treasure a balloon so much, that they would untie the balloon, to save it for another day.

I may have just found my motivation for my mission trip story. :)

Just in case someone reads this, and not my story to come... or I hope to come... anyways here is the link to the donation website for Kenya missions in general. https://pfwb.org/missions-projects/kenya/