“I Deleted My Tinder Profile...”

And yes, I even told him that! Those who know me aren’t surprised! Those who don't know me probably think I'm a stage-five clinger. Now, I'll give you skeptics some credit, if this was six months ago, I'd totally be "that girl"...but with him, I'm not.

Sixteen days ago we matched on Tinder. Fifteen days ago we exchanged numbers after chatting via SnapChat. Thirteen of those days, I've woken up to a good morning text from him. He said his mom always told him to let a woman know you’re still interested, always contact her first. And he does.

I knew from day one he was a very busy man. He's a father of two, has a demanding job which he is passionate about and knows what he wants out of life. What I would eventually come to realize is his life really is filled up minute-by-minute each day. And as much as I want to spend time with him, I'm not mad or upset that I don't get any of his free time. Because I am getting to know him, as a person, who he is inside. Maybe this is my real life version of the Netflix series Love is Blind.

So, the first night we were texting back and forth for almost six hours. We talked about things like how to pronounce my name (Cara-Me for those wondering), tattoos and piercings, our careers, current Netflix binge, my writing and weight loss, our kids. It was great. And as usual, I fell asleep on my couch after eating my nightly bowl of cereal!

The next morning I woke up to the first of many good morning messages. Always ending with the same smiley emoji. He's unpredictably predictable at times. That afternoon I met him face-to-face. I spent about thirty minutes with him watching him work and play - which he gets to do all day - mastering his craft and doing something that he loves. It was short, but wonderful. After I left, the ding on my iPhone displayed a simple text that said "I'm glad you came in." I don't know that I have ever smiled so big with such a sense of calmness ever in my life!

That evening we were chatting more and well, me and all of my randomness, decided to send the following message "I'm not just trying to *&^%, not like I needed to say that because you seem like a respectful guy," but the text I actually sent was "I'm not just trying to *&^%, not like I need it, you seem like a respectful guy". Worst.Text.Fail.Ever! After over an hour waiting for a reply, he found it pretty hilarious, which I was hoping for! Thank goodness I didn't self-sabotage this already!! I asked him if he brought all of his Tinder matches to work so his partner-in-crime could size them up. Haha, well I was the first (and secretly hoping to be the last) woman to ever go see him at work, in an attempt to want to know him on a deeper level. That night he asked me if we could maybe get together another night in the week because he wasn't feeling well. I delayed in my response but eventually said that I was good with that. Another first for me, not being disappointed and throwing myself into a funk for not getting to see him again.

Let's fast forward...We still talk daily, not intense conversations, just everyday small talk with a few deep thoughts thrown in here and there, at my initiation, of course. We talk about Disney+ movies we are watching with our kids, he sends me videos of him perfecting new tricks of his craft, I send him silly and quirky snaps, we check in to see how the others day is going. Multiple times I have tried to squeeze myself into his crazy schedule, and each time it has never been doable. I even told him I didn't want to seem like that girl trying to reach out and see him, that he's just trying to blow off. Then he assured me that he wasn't trying to blow me off at all.

So our daily conversations continue...hobbies I want to get into, his kids upcoming sports events, my triplets playing soccer and my teenage daughter being a typical teen, my life trying to stay away from alcohol, him going with me to sing karaoke because I sang for the first time last week and now I'm hooked! We talk about all of the things.

I saw him for the second time face-to-face, five days ago, for another thirty minutes. I brought lunch to him at work, so he ate while trying to teach me his skill. What man can say no to tacos?! That time stood still for me and I enjoyed every single moment. I was able to focus on him and be my true self with him. I wasn’t trying to impress him. In fact, I’m pretty sure it was quite entertaining for him as he watched me attempt to even come close to being able to perfect his skill. I wasn’t nervous at all and I was able to see how much of a loving and amazing man he is, just by looking in his eyes. And I am not one to look people in the eye when I talk.

That's the day I told him I deleted my Tinder profile. I know it sounds crazy, but I don't think it scared him. In fact, I know it didn't because we still have our same relationship. I think it may have intrigued him. That night he told me that I seem like someone worth knowing. And that was even after he found out I was going to write this blog and I questioned if he talks to a lot of chicks...sorry for keeping it real, not sorry for keeping it real! (I’ll fill you in on something fellas, we want to know if your attention is on us exclusively or if you’re playing the field!)

In the last 72 hours, I have learned so much more about this man. I've learned he and I were raised on the same beliefs, my siblings names are his kids names, he's currently learning Spanish and so am I! We have so many things in common, it's insane! And last night when I asked him again if he figured out why he joined Tinder - we both had the same answer - we were bored and looking to meet people, him because he's too busy to meet people otherwise, and I was just trying to find friends outside of my current circle. I was looking to expand on this new chapter in my life and find a hobby, learn a new skill, network, etc. I was looking to find me, because I’ve partied and hooked up and lived that lifestyle, and I no longer wanted to have that life! I found that with him and I wasn’t really even searching.

He and I are choosing to be patient and continue to get to know each other, with no expectations because we know what we are getting ourselves into. And for the first time in my life, I am taking the time to enjoy the stillness and bask in the beauty of whatever this is. For the first time in my life, I’m not rushing into something. For the first time in my life, I have a calmness versus butterflies.

So the summary as to why I decided to delete my Tinder profile after meeting this amazing man...

He is the most genuine and humble man I have ever met in my life.

I have never seen a man so passionate and loyal to his family.

He is selfless and giving of himself in such a way that inspires me.

He is a man of many talents, yet he is so humble in his abilities. And he gives every ounce of himself in every skill he has until it's mastered.

I want to make time to spend with him doing what he enjoys - I’ll wake up for a 6am workout (I don’t workout people nor am I a morning person), I’ll join him in learning Spanish, I’ll go to church with him. I find myself wanting to just be in his presence.

He pays attention to me even when I may not realize it.

He doesn't tell me that he can't, he tells me he can try. That's effort.

He knows what he wants in life and he's going after it. He's inspired me to do the same.

He's not a reader, but yet he reads my blog.

He compliments me in a chivalrous way, he doesn't try and seduce me.

Although he is an extremely sexy and attractive man, I am attracted more to his soul and his mind.

I have a trust in him that I have never had in anyone before in my life.

I have a sense of security I’ve never felt with any man, ever.

He knows what a spiritual conviction is and he follows that still small voice. He wants his children to know God.

He checks off every quality I would list if I had ever taken the time to write down what I deserve in a life partner.

While I don’t that if I will ever turn social dating apps back on, I’m pretty confident that I won’t. I do know that this man has made a positive impact on me and has helped me as I continue to realize what's important in life, how to be patient, how to turn my passion and talents into reality and how to always do what's right. So whether I may have found my soul mate or if I just made a life-long friendship, I'm happy with either. But ultimately, two people cannot be happy together until they are happy themselves. So maybe this is the final chapter in my own book of searching for my own happiness, and we will see where the sequel begins.

Either way, I know what I deserve and what I want in all areas of my life and I have him to thank for showing me that.

As quoted by Monica Drake, "The Buddhists say if you meet somebody and your heart pounds, your hands shake, your knees go weak, that's not the one. When you meet your 'soul mate' you'll feel calm. No anxiety, no agitation."

So thank you. Now to wait for that good morning text tomorrow...